Author: Vernon Bruce
E-Mail: Ai246@hwcn.org
Summary: Only two powers are greater than death, love and hate they draw us together in incarnation after incarnation. Of these, love is the greater. Willow and Rupert find that love is the key to ending a ancient injustice that has followed them over the centuries.
Timing: Summer break 2002.
Sexual encounters featured, Willow/Giles Willow/Xander Giles/Andrea Rachelle/William Rachelle/Terence
Spoiler Warning: None.
Rating: 18
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Joss Whendon Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Productions 18 Century Fox, WB Network, etc. The situation is mine, and I don't mean to infringe upon any
Notes: Feed back is greatly appreciated.
Dedication. To all those who maintain websites etc. so there's a place to share our fan ficks.



Willow awoke and snuggled down amongst the sheets. She inhaled filling her nostrils with the slightly musky sent of the man who's bed she lay in.

"Hmmmmm. I love that smell," she remarked. For a moment she imagined that there was a man to go with it. "Silly Willow. I knew it would be hard when Graham left but I never counted on becoming a nymphomaniac. Just goes to show, get use to something, you miss it when it's gone." She stretched then sat up and looked around.

Giles' loft looked much as it always had, except that now her bra hung from the doorknob. "Now there's something I would have paid to see in high school."

The sound of the front door opening came up the stairs.

"Hey, Will, you up?" called Buffy's voice.

"In the loft." Willow scrambled out of bed and struggled into a housecoat.

"So, sleeping in your first day in your own place?" joked Buffy as she came up the stairs. She was carrying two paper cups and a bag of muffins.

"Yeah, and hey it's still Giles'. I'm just house sitting while he does his annual pilgrimage thing to England."

"How's that work, anyway?" Buffy took a seat on the bed and passed Willow one of the cups. "Like, he never asked anyone to house sit before."

"I think he knew my parents were driving me crazy. I mean Ok, so Tara and I dated and it kinda freaked them, then Graham came along and he was all like, the great saviour of western civilization. So now I think they're worried about who I'll date next."

"Yeah. See that sorta. Any candidates?"

"Not just yet. If I learned one thing it's that you have to wait after a breakup. Of course, I might just consider a Black transsexual lesbian with two kids and a lisp."

"What?" gasped Buffy.

"Well, with the way you were looking at me! Like, oh boy, Buff, are you really so freaked that I might go back to dating girls?"

"Will, I. Well, Um."

"Relax. It will probably be a guy. Graham kinda showed me some advantages I didn't have time to find with Oz. I'm not saying it's a definite, but I kinda lean towards liking the male side of things."

"Sorry I freaked."

"Really makes you uncomfortable?"

"You know, Will, I don't know why. I know a few gay women and it not a biggy, with you though..."

"With me it could happen. Let's face it, Buff. I love you and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about me."

"Will, I well I err, Riley."

"Exactly. Riley and Graham and what you want and what I want. It's ok. I'd rather keep loving my best friend then risk blowing everything with sex. You don't have to worry. Besides your not my type physically."

"What? what's wrong with my - - - "

"Nothing, I just prefer mannish women. Actually I think it's because I prefer men. Goddess, I can't believe I'm talking about this. I've been really thinking a lot about it lately. I don't know if it's sleeping in Giles' bed or what. It's making me crazy."

"Giles' bed, like ewwww."

"Oh come on, Buffy. Don't tell me you haven't taken a peek when you thought he wasn't looking."

"Well. Ok, he does look good in a tux."

"Ever wonder what he'd look like out of it?" Willow arched her eyebrows.

"Willow!" Buffy blushed. "Here, have a muffin, use your mouth for something other than shocking me. God, what happened to that girl who couldn't do more than make vowel sounds when she spoke to a guy?"

Willow smiled a little sadly. "I miss that me sometimes, but innocence dies, reality murders it. Maybe someday I can find her again. With the right person's help. I just have to find that person."

"Really missing Graham?"

"It was over. We both knew it. If he hadn't left to do his doctorate we would have broken up in six months anyway. This way it's a sweet memory and we stay friends."

"Willow, have you got a head on your shoulders or what?"

"Figure it hurts less to think with my head than my heart."

"Kinda cold isn't it."

"Kinda, but my heart isn't all that smart sometimes."

Buffy looked at her with compassion. "So, new topic. You pick a title for your master's thesis yet?"

"The effect of bio-electric fields on local electrostatic variations and their relationship to the Heisenberg effect."

"Have another muffin," said Buffy with a completely blank expression.


Buffy put the last bag of groceries down on Giles' table and watched as Willow stowed them in the cupboards.

"So what did he have here to start with?" asked Buffy.

"Believe it or not, health food."

"Giles, king of the jelly donut?"

"I think it's a mid-life crises thing."

"Berrr. Look I have to trot to meet Riley. Join us at the bronze tonight?"

"I'll pass. Some stuff here I want to take care of."

"You sure? We could call Xander. You know, since Anya left he hasn't been serious about anyone and you're single now."

"Buffy! Come on. That was so high school. Sure, I love Xander, he's like a brother."

"Sure, just consider it my subtle pressure."

"Go, I give you leave to depart. I promise not to shave my head and become a raging extremist hate man lesbian without talking to you first." Willow smiled as she stacked tins of soup in the cupboard.

"I'm gone, my sweetie awaits. If you change your mind."

"I know where the bronze is."

Buffy let herself out and Willow nearly raced up the stairs.

"Ok, Mr. Giles, now we find out just where you hid the books of Korthank." she said to the air as she pulled out a hand drawn map of the condo. Next she took a small crystal pendant from a box and dangled it by it's chain over the map.

Clearing her mind she rested her elbow on the floor and let the pendant swing. It slowly took on a circular motion.

"By Nephthys, Revealer Goddess of Divination, I call on thee, indicate where the books of Korthank are hidden."

The pendant swung wildly over the sheet, refusing to settle, then Giles' amused voice sounded in the back of Willow's head.

"The books you are seeking are among those I have deemed it inadvisable for you to study at this time, Willow. The old wizard still has a trick or two he hasn't taught you yet. This is a metaphysical recording, there will be no beep and you should stop looking now."

"Owwww. Giles. Well, resolve face. There are more ways than one to get around a spell." Willow's brow creased in thought.

"I call upon Nephthys, Goddess of Divination, direct my pendulum. Show me where Rupert Giles hides those things he wishes kept secret and safe."

The pendulum swung over the diagram until it described a circle over the bedroom closet.

"I thank you Lady Nephthys and all helpful spirits." Willow stood and moved to the closet. She carefully lifted out the shoe rack and inspected the floor. A thin seam ran across the hard wood. She pressed on various parts of the floor until a hatch opened.

"Tricky," she scanned the chamber's contents. Reaching in she pulled out a magazine titled 'Carrot Tops'. "Giles!" she gasped as she opened it to find page after page of red headed beauties posing naked.

There were a couple of other magazines of a similar nature.

"Funny, I never knew he had a thing for redheads."

Willow lifted out a shoebox and opened its' lid, revealing a set of letters in envelopes.

"Willow. Stop this now. He's your friend, he deserves his privacy. Looking for a magic book is one thing but this is..."

As Willow spoke her hand of its own accord pulled out the first of the letters. She opened the paper and began reading before she was really aware she had done so.

"My beloved Rupert,

I can hardly wait to hold you again. To feel your soft kisses fan over my shoulders and your strong arms embrace me. You have restored a fire in me I thought long since dead and I will love you forever for this gift."

Willow was hooked and kept reading, all doubts abolished by this view into an aspect of a man she thought she knew.


Rupert stood in the mist shrouded graveyard. A single bedraggle tree overhung the grave in front of him. Reaching down he cleaned away the weeds in the plot, replacing them with carnations. He wiped clean the head stone with his handkerchief. His fingers traced the writing in the stone as if they were touching a lover's face. Andrea O'Mally, born 1930, died 1980. She blazed like the sun.

"Every year, like clock work, Rupert," spoke a voice with a Harvard accent.

"Hello, Philip," Giles stood brushing dirt from the knees of his pants, then turned to face the newcomer.

Phillip was a robust man, some where in his seventies, with a round, ruddy face. He wore a conservative tweed suit and an old school tie.

"Carnations. They were always her favourite," remarked Phillip.

"I know. How have you been?"

"Well. Had a bit of pneumonia in January, but it's better now. And you?"

"Well enough."

"How are... Oh, what did you call them again? Your Scoobies. Is Buffy still... active?"

"She's still alive. Of course you must have known that. The council would surely have- - -"

"I am retired. They do not keep me up to date any longer. How old is she now?"


"Impressive, for a slayer. Three more years and she'll break the record."

"I hope so."

"Your teem approach, though unorthodox, seems to be working very well. Speaking of the teem. The lad, Zipper, was it?"

"Xander, he's well. He joined the police force. It's proving invaluable having an inside man as it were. I worry about him though. He has a hero's heart but not the skill to match."

"And the little witch? I want to say, Tree?"

"Willow," Rupert smiled and a softness entered his features that spoke volumes to any with eyes to see. "She is starting her Master's degree. Her studies in the art are going well. I almost fear what she could eventually become. There is so much potential there. She needs balance to tap it though. I keep hoping a good man, with a knowledge of the art, will enter her life to balance the equation."

"That Cracker lad you spoke of last year."

"Graham, nice lad, natural medium but doesn't have the passion for the art it would take for him to match Willow. If anyone could."

"And back to you, Rupert. What is new in your life?"

"What is new? My C.D. is selling fairly well. Not top ten or anything like that but enough to keep the distributor happy. The lounge act is paying the bills and I still research for the group."

"Sounds rather empty."

"It isn't. I have a family."

"She always wanted you to have one."

"I know. That was one of the reasons she left me." Rupert stared at the ground.

"Rupert, go home. There is nothing but cold stone and dirt here."

"I can't just forget her."

"Did I say you should? She was my sister, I loved her too. Rupert, old friend, when Frank was killed by that Vampire it was like Andrea stopped living too. She went through the motions, eating, sleeping archiving for the council but she was dead inside. Then you appeared."

"I remember. I'd just finished my indoctrination to the watchers. They wanted to familiarize me with the research materials, so they partnered me with her. She was so striking. She made no attempt to hide her age but the way the silver blended with the ebony in her hair and her eyes crinkled when she smiled. I must have seemed a right dolt when I first met her. I could hardly say a word."

"She was use to having that effect on men. Though I admit she was a little flattered that it hit a youngster like yourself with such force. For her part, she said you were a finely cut young man."

"Finely cut, that was Andrea. Those were the best two years of my life."

"If they really were, Rupert, you have betrayed her."


"Do you remember when she left you? What she said?"

"She told me I was a young man with my life to live. She could never give me children and I should seek out a new love who could share my whole life, not just part of it. She wanted me to find joy and love." Rupert's voice cracked and tears tickled down his cheeks.

"And have you."

"I... I love Buffy and the rest as if they were my children. I came close once but... Let us just say fate is cruel."

"That is not what she meant and you know it." Phillip moved and perched himself on the gravestone.

"Phillip you!"

"She isn't here, Rupert. Hasn't been for a long time. The car accident that killed her - - -."

"Never would have happened if it wasn't for me. She had just ended it with me. If only I'd begged her to stay. Forced her to listen. I loved her. I didn't care about her age. She was more alive than any woman I'd met that was half her age. More alive than any woman I've - - - ."

"Think before you finish that statement, Rupert. Is it a lie? Hasn't there ever been another with that same spark? I've heard it in your voice every year since you moved to Sunnydale. Seen it in your eyes when you spoke her name."

"It's impossible. I'm old enough to be her father."

"As Andrea could have been your mother. Rupert, was she right to end it with you? Was it what was best for either of you? And as to children, that is a place where biology is unfair to the sexes."

"No... No, she was mistaken. I didn't care about having children, or what might or might not happen in twenty years. I loved her. I hadn't planned on loving her. I would never have pursued a older woman. It just happened."

"And, Rupert, there in lies the difference. All the things you tell yourself about how pathetic an older man perusing a young woman is don't apply, because like with Andrea, you haven't pursued. You encountered. That is a rare gift for the universe to give anyone. Don't be a fool with it."
"Phillip, why tell me all this now?"

"Because, old boy, there is nothing here but cold stone and dirt. It's time you layed your ghosts to rest. It wasn't your fault she was in that car that evening. You've carried it with you too long. Say your goodbyes, Rupert. I do not expect to see you here again." Philip walked off, disappearing into the mist. Giles looked down at the grass. Not a blade was bent where Phillip had stood.

"What?" He followed in the direction the older man had walked, stumbling into a head stone before he saw it. He pause to read it.

"Phillip Montgomery, beloved husband and father, born March, 30, 1935, died January, 2, 2002.

"Goodbye, Phillip." Giles bowed his head in prayer before silently striding into the mist, leaving the small cemetery for what he knew would be the last time.


Willow sat at the kitchen table and took a long swallow of ice water but it did nothing to cool the heat that was burning in her.

"Goddess this woman could write," she muttered as she pulled out another letter from the middle of the box. This one was dated January, 5, 1980. There was a photograph tucked in with the letter. Willow examined it.

A much younger Giles stood arm in arm with a woman. Her hair was ebony black but liberally streaked with silver and fell to mid-shoulders. Her features were well carved, handsome more than pretty, striking in their power. Her body, which was well shown off by the tight fitting yellow dress she wore, was fit and lean with medium sized breasts.

"Goddess, no wonder you loved her," observed Willow as she first scanned the physical photograph then shifting her vision gazed at the aura traces. The woman almost exploded with gold, the colour of love, blue, denoting intelligence; was a close second and finally purple, for intuition and mystical abilities.

Willow began reading.


Remember this day. The rain had finally stopped and we went to the carnival. I'd almost forgotten how much fun they could be. Remind me never to challenge you to a game of darts. I'm sure that stall owner will never forget. Teddy is sitting in my vanity chair watching as I write. I wish you were here to take his
place. I live for our week-ends. I miss your touch, the clean strong smell of you on my bed sheets. My young love.

I want to lay you down. Kiss you lightly on the lips then run my tongue along the length of your throat. I can imagine the salty fresh taste. I can almost hear your moan as I trail my fingers over your abdomen and lightly brush your penis. You're so rigged and long. I kiss you again and your hands stroke my breasts, gently teasing my nipples. Your tongue enters my mouth. I can hardly get enough breath as I entwine my tongue with yours. I feel your fingers run through my hair, it sends a tingle down my spine, my love...

"Forget this!" Grabbing the shoebox and the letter Willow raced to the bedroom. It took her only seconds to pull off her jeans. She lay on Rupert's bed, breathing in his fragrance and holding the letter. She closed her eyes picturing him naked. She smiled at the fantasy image then opening her eyes continued opening to read.

I break the kiss. I can feel your chest rising and falling as you fight for breath. I kiss my way down your throat. I feel your strong fingers tracing patterns over my back. It's like trails of fire. I gently bite your nipples, you arch your back and groan like you always do. I love making you do that...

Willow slipped her free hand down to her vagina and gently teased the outer lips, barely parting them. She was soaking. She spread the lubricant the length of her channel and gently flicked her fingers over her clitoris. "Uuuggggg," she breathed and kept reading...

"I continue on, kissing over your firm young abdomen and run my tongue the length of your shaft. You are so big. I lick the drop of pre-ejaculate from the head of your penis. You reach down and tug on my leg and I know what you want. You are the least selfish man I have ever known. I turn around, bringing my vagina to your waiting mouth. The feel of your tongue parting my folds. Oh, Rupert, you lick the length of me, then take my clitoris into your mouth, gently sucking before once more lapping the length of my slit...

"Oh, gods." Willow worked her fingers harder against her own sex, tracing the length of her vaginal slit and playing them over her clitoris...

You thrust your tongue deep into me. I can feel your chin pressed against my clitoris. I want you. I swallow your penis. Taking it as deep into my mouth as I can and scraping my teeth gently the length of your shaft as I back off. I hold the tip between my lips and swirl my tongue around your head, then swallow you again. You taste so good. I feel your tongue exploring the core of me. "I'm going to... I'm... Oh god, Rupert. Oh...."

"Ugggggggg, Rupert... Oh Rupert... Yes!" Willow cried into the air then collapsed against the bed. She barely had the presence of mind to place the letter on the night-stand before clutching Giles pillow to her and sinking into a warm hazy place bereft of thought.

Chapter 4 - GOLDEN RAM

Rupert sat in the pub. He'd driven to York from the graveyard. He still had goodbyes to make and a lot of thinking to do.

The low ceilings of the fifteenth century pub gave it a cozy feel and its dim lights added to the sense of intimacy. Over twenty years had passed and the place was still the same, an island of timelessness in an ever changing world.

He sipped at the cider he'd ordered closed his eyes and let the present vanish...


"Well, Mr. Giles, since you frequent this establishment, why don't you order. Though I would prefer not having fish and chips as I had that yesterday."

"Please, call me Rupert. I'm not interning for you any longer."

"Very well. You must call me Andrea. Now as to the food?"

"The house speciality is the pot pies. I prefer the beef but some people swear by the chicken."

"Then the beef it will be. I must say, I was a little taken aback by your invitation to dine."


"Really, Rupert. You're a vital young man. You must have better things to do than waste an evening on a old widow."

"Andrea, you are not old. And as to how to spend my time, I cannot think of a place I would rather be than in your company. I have enjoyed training with you enormously and well."


Rupert remembered how his stomach had done flip flops and smiled.


"And?" encouraged Andrea.

"Andrea, I would like to continue our association at a social level. I, frankly, I find that I am rather smitten with you. Your intelligence, your warmth, your beauty. I am aware that my youth might pose a problem but I can assure you I am not immature nor am I a male strumpet."

"Gigolo," said Andrea.


"It is a term for a man who dates older well set women for profit. I know you aren't one of those, Rupert. I have enjoyed our time together as well. It has been sometime for me since I had a suitor, so I may be a little rusty, but yes. I think seeing each other socially could be enjoyable."


"Sir," intruded the voice.

"What? Oh my, sorry. Lost In thought," said Giles as he opened his eyes and took his hands off the table. The waitress, a pretty blond girl about Willow's age, stood beside him.

"Is this your first time at the Ram?" asked the waitress with a smile.

"No, but it has been quite a while. I use to frequent the place when Old Willy kept it."

"I'm sorry, he must have been before my time. I'd like to suggest the fish and chips, they are the house speciality."

"Oh. How are the beef pies?"

"Between you and me. Awful, they take them out of a box and microwave them, the fish and chips is much better."

"Et tu Brute," breathed Giles. He glanced around the pub noting a myriad of minor differences to the place he had once so loved.


"I'll have the fish and chips, thank you."


That night he walked the old city wall. The battered fortification afforded a good view of the surrounding sprawl. The view helped him find the memories he sought.


It had been cold and she nestled under his arm for warmth. The black wool of her long coat making her pail skin almost glow in contrast. The city lights stretched out before them.

"Andrea, I have a question?" he opened.

She'd turned to face him. The city lights reflected up towards her. "Yes, Rupert."

Her face was lovely, her lips full and inviting. He felt a tremor of fear but pushed on despite it. "May I? May I?"


His lips met hers and it was all he could have dreamed of. The warmth of her mouth, the sensuality of her touch, sent an electric tingle down his spine. Her lips parted and their tongue-tips playfully teased each other.

"Let's stop playing, Rupert. Which is closer, my house or your flat?" Andrea asked after a seeming eternity of bliss.

"Your house." Giles remembered how dry his mouth had been, how his heart had pounded in his chest. She took his hand and they walked purposefully along the old city wall with their goal in mind.


"Hello sir." Rupert focussed on the couple who approach along the wall. The woman was the waitress from the pub and she was arm in arm with a dark haired man about Rupert’s age.

"Oh, hello. Aww... I'm afraid the name escapes me."

"Not to worry, it's Sue. Ben, this it the gentleman who mentioned Old Willy and the meat pies."

"Bloody aces, old man. Thought I was the last to remember the Ram in its glory days," said the man.

"I remember it quite fondly."

"As do I. When Old Willy died it really started to slip. Pulled up the last few years though. Still miss his meat pies."

"Oh yes, quite. They were truly extraordinary."

"Well we best be getting home."

"It was a pleasure to meet you."

Rupert watched as the couple moved away. There postures spoke to a warmth and familiarity that made a lie of the years between them. He closed his eyes mastering the tears that threatened. "Perhaps?"


Rupert lay on the bed in the hotel room staring at the ceiling. He could remember every detail. The ancient canopy bed, the candles that had lit the room. It had been so natural, like old lovers meeting after a separation, instead of two people coming together for the first time.

She'd left her coat in the porch closet and now stood in a simple cream blouse and black skirt. A string of pearls encircled her neck, falling just low enough to draw attention to the hint of cleavage at the blouse's opening. Her hair fell about her shoulders like a waterfall and her blue eyes sparkled with warmth.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world," said Rupert as she led him by the hand into her bedroom.

"There is no need to exaggerate," countered Andrea.

"I am not exaggerating." Rupert pulled her into his arms and kissed her. The spicy smell of her perfume filled his nostrils as her lips moved under his own. His lips trail from hers, kissing her eye lids then down the side of her neck to its nape.

"Rupert, It's been a long time for me. I know you young people are more adventur - - -"

Rupert cut her off with a kiss. "Tell me if and when I go too far," he soothed. Then nibbled her ear. As he did this his hands played over her taught body, caressing her breasts through the material of her blouse and stroking gently over the cheeks of her buttocks.

"Rupert," she whispered, before trailing a line of kisses the length of his neck.

"Andrea. My Andrea." He began undoing the buttons on her blouse, bending to kiss the skin that each revealed. His fingers fumbled in his excitement and nervousness.

Rupert looked up when he knelt before her. Andrea smile at him with a warmth that melted all the cold places inside. It was then he knew he loved her. Loved her in a way he'd never loved anyone else. Undoing the button on her skirt he let it fall to the floor as she slipped out of her blouse. She hadn't worn stockings or hosiery and the little panties that covered her allowed wisps of hair from her Venus mound to be seen. Her bra was a lacy affair, providing support but allowing an intriguing glimpse of the nipples that dented the fabric. Her abdomen was nearly flat. A tracery of thin lines, almost faded, could still be seen at its edges. He traced these with his fingers.

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect for you," she said self consciously.

Rupert glanced into her eyes, shock on his face. He kissed the stretch marks.

"Woman is the vessel of life. How can signs of that be anything but beautiful?" he whispered loud enough for her to hear. He kissed the stretch marks once again. With one hand he massaged the small of her back while the other played up her inner thigh. His fingers stroked her sex through the material of her panties.

"Rupert. Oh Lord, Rupert." Her hands ran through his hair. He gripped her panties and eased them down. Her sex was neat and even with lips only slightly protruding. She stepped out of her panties and Rupert kissed her Venus mound.

"Rupert what are you do...? Haaaaaa," she gasped as his tongue parted her folds and slid over her clitoris.

"God, Rupert. Oh god. Oh, Oh. H ha ha ha haa," she panted as he massaged her with his mouth.

Standing, Rupert pulled her tight against him and burried her lips under his own.

"Oh god. I never, with your tongue. Down there. What was that?" she asked.

"One of those adventurous things you mentioned." He smiled at her with a dreamy expression.

"The taste, I mean, it's dirty."

"Dirty? You? You are warm and sweat like honey. You are wonderful. There is nothing dirty about you."

"Rupert." Tears sprung into her eyes. He kissed them away and picking her up lay her on the bed. He kissed her and undid the clip on her bra, it fell away. Her breasts were full with nipples as big around as ten P pieces. He took one into his mouth and suckled gently, as his fingers strayed to her sex. He traced the length of her slit then made slow circles around her clitoris.

"Rupert, Oh god." She grabbed his sweater and pulled it off over his head then went to work on his belt. In seconds he was stepping out of his pants and underwear.

"You are a beautiful man." She drew her nails over his chest.

Rupert blushed, smiled then kissed her. His lips strayed down her neck to her breasts then over her abdomen stopping at her sex.

"Oh, Rupert. You don't have to."

"I want to." He grinned up at her from the V of her legs then parted her folds with his tongue.

"Haaaaaa," she groaned as he licked the length of her vaginal slit then used his tongue to toy with her clitoris before taking the little nub between his lips and sucking gently.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww ugg ha," she groaned as she burried her fingers in his hair and pulled him tight against her sex. Rupert continued to massage her nub with his tongue until she collapsed against the bed.

He kissed his way up her body. "Rupert, I never. I mean with Frank it was pleasant but never. What about you?"

"Do you think you're ready for me still?"

"Again?" She gazed at Rupert erect penis. “You're very large, Rupert. Be gentle?"

"As gentle as you want me to be, Love."

Andrea smiled as if trying on the title for size. "Yes, Love, I think I'm still ready for you."

Rupert entered her slowly, easing in slightly then pulling back, allowing her to become accustom to his length in stages. His lips met hers as he did this and strayed over her neck. Soon her arms embraced him and her fingernails scraped over his back. She made small moaning sounds as he slowly and steadily slid in and out of her moist channel.

"Oh, Rupert. It so good. It's, Oh god, my young love, my stallion. I'm yours. Make me your own."

Rupert increased the pace of his thrusts and leaned back onto his haunches. Licking his thumb he played it over her clitoris as he massaged her breasts with his free hand.

"Oh god, Rupert. It's happening again I'm, Argggggggggg haaaa Ug."

Rupert cried out himself as his seed shot forth. "Willow." The image of the beautiful young redhead superimposed over that of Andrea in the fantasy and the one name echoed through him like a battle cry.


Giles lay in the hotel room his still rigged penis in his hand his seed running down between his fingers.

"Old man, what was that? Willow. Oh god, Andrea. Why do the years conspire against me? Fates, why have you so set the thread of my life that my two great loves are both denied me by time?"

He stood up and with a sense of melancholy went to wash his hands.

Chapter 5 - DEAR FRIEND

"Hi, Xander." Willow motioned for her oldest friend to pass through the door. He was wearing his uniform and looked every inch the young police officer, in black leather jacket black slacks and gun-belt. He carried his motorcycle helmet under his arm.

"Hey, Will. I just got off shift, figured I'd drop by and bring you up to date on the suspicious suspicious activity at the precinct." Xander moved to the couch pulled off his leather jacket and flopped down.

Damn that uniform looks good on him, thought Willow. Other stray musings crossed her mind. She remembered how he kissed in high school. Blushing she tried to think of other things.

"Much happening?" she asked as she carefully refolded the letter she'd been reading and returned it to its place about three quarters along the box's length. She then pushed the box under the coffee table and took a seat beside Xander on the couch.

"Not much. Some vamp activity in the warehouse district, but that's pretty normal. Did have one report of a patrolman who saw something that sounds like a cross between a gorilla and a spider."

"Montileck demon. I'll research the 411 on them and fill Buffy in."

"Will, you are amazing. A hotty with brains."

"Why, Xander. Thank you."

"So what's the what with you?"

"Not much. Prepping for my thesis, loafing, enjoying the quiet."

"Will, this is Xander here."

"Ok, so feeling the lonely too. It's kinda strange waking up alone. I mean, like, I spent more time in Graham's bed this last year than my own. It's frustrating."

"Will, you know, you could have anyone and I mean anyone you wanted. You are a number one grade A commodity."

Willow blushed. "What a difference a couple of years can make. I don't want just anyone though. That's kinda more a guy thing. I want someone, well..."

"You love?" asked Xander.

"Well sorta. Love is the best. I mean like with Oz it was great, too short and neither of us really knew what we were doing, but it was great. Then Tara, well she knew what she was doing and was more than happy to teach me. I can say one thing for her, she may have been jealous, possessive, whiney and cheated on me but she was something else in bed."

"So you think you might go back to...?"

"I don't know. Depends on the people I meet. I mean, I can really enjoy either but Graham, well, he was sweet, warm, supportive and knew what he was doing in bed. Also about as interesting as watching grass grow but he was so gentle and kind I could ignore that.

"I guess what I want is someone I at least really like. Not a one night sort of thing. I had a couple of those between Tara and Graham and they were pretty empty. I want someone who'll be around for a while. Maybe not forever, though that would be nice, but someone I can care about.

"So why the sudden interest?"

"Remember when you visited the precinct last month?"


"Staff Sargent Malkowits has been bugging me to introduce you ever since. And detective Joans."

"Who and who?"

"Malkowits is the tall woman with brown hair and Joans is the blond guy about my height with more muscles than Conan."

"Malcowits the well," Willow blushed. "She's the one with the really nice buns isn't she?"


"And Joans has those huge brown eyes and a jaw you could cut meat with."

"Like, Will, I don't notice stuff like that about other guys but his eyes are brown."

"I'm really flattered Xander and maybe in a month or two. Right now I need to get my head on straight from Graham and sort out some other things. I'm not looking for a new relationship."

"Probably smart. I know I've been running pretty dry since Anya left. Needed time and space."

"That's not how I hear it. Mr. Service and protect." Willow smiled and winked.

Xander smiled. "I've played, I admit it. Why not, I'm honest with them before and after that it's just fun. I mean, you may not like the one night thing, I kinda do."

"Gets lonely though. I mean having sex instead of making love."

Xander's eyes dropped to the couch. "That's the that, but there needs to be love to make love."

"Xander." Willow looked into his eyes. The question was there, no words were needed.

"Will, I... I mean, yeah, I love you, but we're..."

"You don't love me that way?"

"I don't know. Like, Will, your one of the hottest women I know. Damn if I don't want to, but not if it's going to..."

"Suppose we both promise that if it doesn't work we'll still be friends, just a little closer than before. Xander I don't know what's up with me. I've been so... I need someone, a warm body to hold me. I don't want to go pick up some stranger. That's so not me. Maybe with you and I though."

"Promise, we'll still be friends first, second and last."


Xander kissed her. She kissed him back. She'd always liked how he kissed, a bit dry with only a little parting of the lips to start, then a little wider so just the tips of their tongues could play. She ran her hands over his uniform shirt and grasped his gun belt.

"Did I ever tell you how hot you look in that uniform," she confessed.

"No, but I'm glad you just did." Xander kissed her again. He let his hand play over the slender form of his oldest and dearest friend. Her breasts were every bit as firm and pert as he remembered. He swallowed and pulled away from her. "Hands hands in new places," he quipped, remembering a time long ago with a very different Willow.

Willow smiled at him coquettishly. "Just how well did you get to know that Vampire version of me?"

Xander smiled and pressed his hand against the seam of her jeans. "Not quite this well."

They kissed again and kept kissing.

Willow let the last four years slip away. She was in grade eleven again and this boy she'd wanted since puberty was finally taking notice. She ran her fingers over his shirt, feeling the hard muscle underneath. She undid his top button as his hand slipped under her sweater to massage her breasts and pinch her nipples.

"Xander," she whispered and nibbled his ear.

"Willow." He undid the button on her jeans and her fly. His fingers slid down to her sex. He was enthusiastic but a little clumsy in his ministrations.

"Gently. Women aren't like men, we don't need a lot of pressure," advised Willow.

"Oh," said Xander, his fires dimming. Willow pressed her hand against his erection through his pants.

"Haa," he said.

"The bed would probably be more comfortable."

"With you on that one."

Standing Willow took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Xander undid the gun belt and set it carefully on a chair before returning his attention to the beautiful redhead. She kissed him and undid the last of his shirt buttons, pulling it off his shoulders.

"My, Xander, what well defined pecks you have." Willow ran her fingers over his naked flesh. Xander gripped her sweater and pulled it off, tossing it to one side. He caressed her small perfect breasts, teasing the nipples with his fingers while he kissed a trail down her throat.

Willow unclipped his pants, pulled down his fly and let them fall to the floor. He wore boxers. Dropping to her knees she pulled them down. She fumbled in the night-stand for a condom which she rolled over his penis before taking it into her mouth. She paused with only half his length engulfed and swirled her tongue around his head.

"Oh god! If I'd known you sucked I would have been the one chasing you in high school," said Xander.

Willow removed his penis from her mouth. "Xander, like twisted view there, ok."

"Sorry," Xander helped her to her feet and kissed her. In seconds he'd eased her pants off and was running his fingers along her sex. She was warm and wet and clean and he wanted to love her. He stared into her eyes and saw how pretty she was, how special to him.

Willow gently stroked Xander's penis as he fingered her. She looked at him and saw her dear friend, a very special person who she cared for deeply. She wanted to love him.

They moved to the bed. Xander slammed into her.

"Hey," objected Willow, as pain momentarily clouded her features.

"Sorry," said Xander. He then began a slow steady rhythm slipping in and out of her tight channel. He kissed her and caressed her, being a gentle as he knew how to be.

Willow tried to watch the face above her, to imagine it was her Xander, the Xander of four years before, but she couldn't. The illusion was too tenuous. This was like making love to her brother. She loved him, she was aroused by the act but she knew there was no way she would peak with this man. She closed her eyes and thought about the letters, thought about Rupert and Andrea.. Rupert and her!

Xander felt his excitement growing. He looked at Willow, so beautiful. She was so hot. Her eyes were closed and he wished she would open them, then again maybe not. With them closed she couldn't see the lie in his face. He loved her, but not this way. She was sister, friend, confidant but the time when she could have been wife, lover was too long gone. They had changed too much. The realization brought a tear to his eye that he was glad she couldn't see. Still she writhed underneath him and he did his best to please her. He pictured Anya. How she would squirm beneath him, driving to match each of his thrusts. How she never told him to be gentle, preferring rough and violent couplings.

Anya always liked a bit of pain mixed with her pleasure, he thought. A memory of how she would bite him hard enough to draw blood added to his excitement.

"Oh yes, Rupert!" cried Willow, as her orgasm made her clamp down around Xander.

Xander thrust into the tightening passage and groaned as his seed shot into the condom. He pulled out and stared at Willow. A mix of emotions ran through him. First anger that she called another man's name. Then relief because he knew she would expect no more of him than he was ready to give, then compassion because his friend obviously desired a man that time could well have placed outside her reach.

Willow opened her eyes and saw Xander standing beside the bed. "Oh God, Xander. I'm so Sorry. I."

Xander kissed his finger and layed it against her lips. "Friends, first, second and last." He crawled in beside her and hugged her to him.

"You sure you're ok?"

"Will, won't say it isn't a bit unnerving to have you call out another man's name, but hey. Truth, I was thinking about Anya."

"This was a mistake."

"Will, for a smart woman sometimes you're really dumb."

"What?" said Willow.

"No way was this a mistake. Now we both know one thing for sure."


"We're friends. That's all we're meant to be. I love you, Will, but not that way. I'll never have to ask myself again did I blow it with you.

I mean yeah your cute as hell, but we run on different tracks when it comes to play time."

Willow nestled into her friend's arms enjoying the warmth of an embrace that was not quite platonic but certainly not the passion and warmth she desired. "Boy have we all grown up."

"Too true. Look, Will. It wasn't bad, just not well."

"Enough to make your eyes role up in your head?"

"Yeah. If you ever want a playmate for a night, well I might be better than cruising the bars."

"Got ya, but no. I think we've had our minute."

"Hey, like choose another phrase, that's one problem I don't have."

Willow smiled. "I love you, bro'." she kissed Xander.

"Love you, sis. Look, probably none of my business but Rupert, I mean Giles. Well?"

"I know. I just can't get him out of my head."

"Sounds like he's affecting other parts."

"Xander! But um... yeah. What do you think?"

"I think it's up to you and him, Will. I mean he is a lot older and you gotta figure when you're fifty he's seventy four."

"Yeah, I really wonder how important that is though. I mean, I've not exactly had the most ordinary or long lasting relationships up till now. Maybe I don't even want Mr. Right, maybe I want Mr. Right-now."

"Like I said, it's up to the two of you. I'm behind you Will, whatever you decide. Maybe you should talk it over with him before you pick out rings though."

"Rings, Xander aren't you listening?"

"Very closely, Will. And I was watching when you called his name. Now I don't know how it is with you normally but your face said it all. If you go after Giles, it's gonna be rings."

"You're crazy. Besides he might not want to get serious. He might not want me at all."

"Willow, are you really that blind?"


"Giles, well, he loves you."

"Come on?"

"Since high school, though I don't think he realised it until you put a scare into him with Tara."

"Xander That's..."

"True. Will, guys know guys. Try watching his eyes when he thinks you're not looking. Half the time he could do the research without you but he still wants you with him. Why? He's nuts about you and scared to tell you."


"Sure. Old man after young girl. What if he tells you and you say no? Or suppose you say no because he's a man and you decided to go with women? Or suppose you just don't like him that way? He's scared, Will."

"Giles fights demons and vamps."

"Different kind of guts. There he only risks dying, with you he'd risk living with his insides torn to pieces."

"Guys are weird!"

"Sure. When's the last time you asked someone you really liked out for the very first time?"

"Well. I..."

"See. Guys get to do most of the asking. It's scary because it hurts to get turned down. It hurts worse when you really care about someone."

"Oh, all right then."

"I'm getting dressed. I think maybe we two old friends should talk in the living room."

"Yup. Xander, I am glad we did. You're right, I won't wonder now."

"Yeah. Too bad it didn't work out though," Xander climbed from the bed and started dressing.

"Like the song says. To everything a season."




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