Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Author: M. Jade
Summary: What happens after the events of “Candy Kisses and Gold Foil Hearts”
Pairing: W/G, with a slight B/S
Rating: Strictly 12
If you have comments or suggestions, email me at jaderozegirl@yahoo.com
Spoilers: Shortly after “Crush”
Feedback: It's what my muse thrives on, baby, and she's in need of some lovin'!
Disclaimer: I bow at the alters of those who created BtVS: that being Joss, and song maven Sarah McLachlan for “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy”
Distribution: If you have “Candy Kisses,” it's yours, if not ya just need to ask!
Notes: Based on one of my favorite, not as naughty as it sounds, Sarah McLachlan songs, “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” and {  } indicates lyrics
More Notes: Assume Willow was too concerned about Spike to tell Buffy about the events at the magic shop
Thanks: To those who asked for a sequel.  My muse went straight for the Sarah!

“So Spike came out directly and told you that he was in love with you?” Giles said with an air of disbelief.  “That's … amazing, Buffy.”  The Slayer nodded.  They were sitting together in the living room of Giles' flat, Buffy explaining the recent turn of events in their dealings with Spike, the local bleach blonde vampire.

“He had this whole Slayer shrine thing going, Giles.  It was …  kinda creepy.  But at least he stayed away from that horrible eighth grade picture of mine, the one with that awful green sweater…” she trailed off for a moment.  “He threatened to stake Drusilla for me,” she added.  “I didn't think about how serious that was until later, but he was completely going to do it, just to prove some stupid point.”

“And you made it clear, under no uncertain terms…”

“He is to stay away from me, my friends, and my family, or I will dust his bleached ass,” Buffy confirmed.  “But … I'm pretty he's not the kind to take no for an answer, Giles.”

“No, Spike doesn't strike me as such.  Simply convincing him to abandon this… infatuation with you would be folly,” Giles said as he took his glasses off to clean them.

“I almost feel sorry for him, Giles.  I mean, he was pathetic before, but now he's … beyond pathetic?  A shell of pathetic?” Buffy guessed.  “He seemed pretty hurt, too, and when Spike's hurt… well that's when you call in the cavalry.  Not that I care that he's hurt, mind you, but I don't like the idea of him being out there like that.  He's too unpredictable.”

“I agree.  Buffy, I'm sure that he was hurt, but that's not your fault.  To pretend to feel something you don't would help neither one of you right now, to say the least, and it would be less than fair to all concerned.  You're right to say this needs to be dealt with now,” Giles assured her.

“Maybe I should ask Willow to cook up her trusty de-lusting spell,” Buffy said with a smirk.  “That may cure Spike of his Buffy Fixation once and for all.”  At the mention of Willow's name, Giles turned eerily quiet, and he didn't answer her, his eyes having a far-off look.  “Hello, cure for cancer of the Spike?”

“Hmm…” the Watcher replied.  “I'm sorry, you were saying?”  Giles was visibly trying to pull himself back into the conversation, a sign Buffy didn't particularly like.  Giles was usually the attentive type.

“Are you okay, Giles,” Buffy asked as she looked him over.  She noticed he had suddenly gone slightly ashen, his face paler than a moment before.

“I… If I tell you something, Buffy, do you promise not to let it leave this room,” he asked her gently, and Buffy gave a confused nod.  She knew the request was unusual.


“Yesterday afternoon … Willow came by the shop to have lunch with me,” he began.  “It wasn't supposed to be anything important, but… something happened, and I'm not sure what to do about it.”  Buffy took all this in.  At first, she was a little surprised that he had confided in her the way he did, but then she could tell by the look in his eyes that whatever had happed was important.

“What happened, Giles,” Buffy questioned gently, giving him the chance to find his answer.

“I… we kissed,” he answered softly.

“You kissed Willow!” Buffy said in shock.  “But … but … but …”

“It happened because of a spell Willow was doing for Tara.  She never expected it to work on me…” Giles began to explain.

“Well if it's because of a spell, than it means nothing,” Buffy cut him off, matter-of-factly, trying to shake off the shock.

“No, it's not that simple, Buffy.  The spell Willow did only works on those who … are mutually of the same heart, sort to speak,” Giles explained.  Buffy shook her head.

“So you … and Willow…”

“Yes.” Giles nodded.   “Now you see the problem.”

“And here I thought Spike was the biggest of our problems,” Buffy mumbled, then sighed.  “What did Willow say about what happened?” Buffy questioned.

“She left the shop soon after it happened.  I thought she needed some time to herself, so I gave it to her,” Giles replied as he put his glasses back on.

“What do you plan to do about it,” she asked, changing her tactics.  Giles looked into his Slayer's questioning eyes and sighed.

“I'm not sure.  Tara obviously cares a great deal for Willow, and she does return those sentiments, I know that much, and having a relationship with Tara is, on the whole, less complicated than being with me ever would.”  Buffy shook her head, stopping Giles' explanation.

“I know you're thinking of what's best for Will, but … how do you feel about this?  Do you really want to be with her?”  Giles took off his glasses again to give the idea some thought.

“I… would want nothing more than to be with her, but I'm not sure I could ask that much of Willow, or myself,” he decided.  To hear him admit it took the Slayer aback.

“So you love her?”

“Yes, Buffy.  A great deal more than I ever realized before.  Probably since I met her.”  Buffy took his hand and gave him a smile, dispelling his apprehension.

“Then tell her that you love her.  Be as honest with Willow as possible.  Everything else will work itself out in the end,” she assured him.

“You're… okay with this?”  After running through all the possible scenarios through his mind, a fairly calm Buffy had not come into Giles' equation.  Buffy gave him a shrug as she got up to leave.

“Right now, I'm ready to go home, try to figure out how to deal with this Spike thing, and then, maybe I'll be ready to tell you how seriously wigged I am right now, but first things first, I've got a lovesick vampire on my hand.  Problemo uno.”  Buffy gave Giles a bright grin and began to leave.

“Thank you, for listening, Buffy,” Giles offered.

“Anytime, Giles.”  As she got to the door, she turned.  “By the way, do you know what Willow put in her spell?  I know a point or two it could prove to a certain blonde type person…”

“Buffy…” Giles warned.

“Okay, leaving now.”  And with that, Giles was once again alone.


Later that evening, Willow quietly opened the door the Giles' apartment and was greeted by the soft, warm glow of candlelight.  The room seemed warm, and smelled of roses.  In the background, an oddly familiar song played softly, its slow rhythm pulsating throughout the room.  Candles of all shapes and sizes surrounded the room, taking up every free spot of space one could find.  She looked around the room to take in the inviting atmosphere, when Giles' form appeared in the entrance to the hallway.  “Thank you for coming,” he greeted her.

“I… wasn't sure you'd call,” she said quietly.  She stood in the middle of the room, waiting to see what he had in mind.

“I wasn't sure you'd answer,” he replied, shifting his weight.

“But … I… ah did… and now I'm here, with you… alone,” she said with a slightly nervous smile.  Giles returned her bright smile, and reminded himself once again just how beautiful the witch really was.  One of the many things he had been forced to ponder since their encounter t the magic shop.  His whole view about Willow had changed in that moment, and now he was prepared to let her know.

“How was your dinner with Tara last night,” he asked, taking Willow aback slightly with his forwardness.

“Um… we… it was awkward,” she confessed under his gentle gaze.  Giles raised his brow, allowing Willow to continue.  “Tara seemed to know something had happened, somehow.  I'm not sure how, but she felt it.  It was so awful to see her look at me with these lost little puppy-dog eyes, and I … I felt so horribly guilty.  I told her what happened, about the spell, and she just said that she knew.  She came out and said she could just feel me growing apart from her.”

(All the fear has left me now}
{I'm not frightened anymore}
{It's my heart that pounds beneath my chest}
{It's my mouth that pushes out this breath}

“Was Tara correct in her assessment of the situation?” Giles asked softly as he left his perch to approach her.

“Yes,” the redhead whispered as Giles walked up behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

“Did she happen to mention where your heart was going to?” he whispered back in her ear.  Willow slowly leaned back into him.

“You,” Willow whispered in a barely audible voice.  “And she's right.”

{And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it}
{I won't fear love}
{And if I feel a rage I won't deny it}
{I won't fear love}

“Is that why you're here,” Giles returned.  Willow nodded and leaned into him a little more, and Giles reached around to hug her waist.

“Is that why you asked me here?” she returned, looking up into his sparkling green eyes.  The candlelight gave them an almost husky glow, but Willow thought maybe that a little of that was her own imagination, or perhaps a small glimmer of hope.

“Willow, there are so many things I should have told you, and many reasons they would have been wrong before.  Yesterday only made those points blindingly clear to me.  I asked you here to tell you once and for all.”  He leaned his head down on her shoulder, and she placed her head next to his.  “Willow Rosenberg, I am in love with you.”

“I know,” Willow answered, a smile crossing her face.  “I know that's why you wanted me here.  I just needed to hear it from you,” she told him.

{Companion to our demons}
{They will dance, and we will play}
{With chairs, candles, and clothes}
{Making darkness in the day}
{It'll be easy to look in or out}
{Upstream or down}
{Without a thought}

“You knew?” Giles asked, his own eyes filling with a small shade of hope.

“Of course,” Willow answered.  She turned from his embrace to face him, but kept her hand in his.  “Giles, I have been in love with you since the day we met.  There were times I wanted so much for you to say that you loved me back, but you never did.”  She smiled as she continued.  “Then, yesterday, it happened.  Not directly, in the coming out and saying it sort of way, but when you kissed me?  I felt it.”

“What about Tara,” he asked, trying to gauge the situation.

“Tara is and will always be a part of my heart, just like Oz, but I can't lie to her and say that she's it's focus now, because she knows she's not.  It's just not our time is all.”  She placed her hand along Giles' face.  “Am I wrong?”

“No,” Giles answered.  He leaned down tentatively to catch her mouth in a kiss.  He took his hand along the back of her head, allowing her to return the kiss.  For a few, heated moments, their beings seemed intertwined, the space between them no longer existed.  Something in them seemed to burn, and nothing they did made a difference.  The more they tasted and felt, the more each of them wanted.  They had nothing less than each other's soul in that moment, and it wasn't enough.  They struggled to possess the other, but the need for oxygen finally burned out their efforts.

“I won't fear love,” Willow whispered, still looking into Giles' eyes.

{And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it.}
{I won't fear love}
{And if I feel a rage, I won't deny it}
{I won't fear love}

“Willow,” Giles took her gently by the chin.  “If you want to leave right now, just say the word.  Everything from here is your call,” he told her.  Willow grinned.

“Such the gentleman, Mr. Giles,” she said ruefully.  “I have waited almost four years for this moment.  This witch isn't going anywhere,” she assured him with a smile, which he readily returned.

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful I think you are,” he asked her as he took her in his arms again.

“Nope,” Willow said shaking her head.  “But I'd love to hear it.”

“You are the most beautiful, wonderful creature I have had the great pleasure of meeting ever.”  He moved his hand to the side of her head and began to play with a strand of her silky red hair.

“Show me?” she whispered back.

{Peace in the struggle to find peace}
{Comfort on the way to comfort}

“Whatever the lady wishes,” he told her.  Giles began to move aside the shoulder of her blouse and trailed kisses along her neck.  Willow's fingers began to play with the buttons of Giles' shirt while his kisses found their way to her mouth.  He slowly moved his hands to the hem of her soft blouse to raise it above her head.  She parted from him long enough to allow him to finish the task, her garment finding it's way to the floor.  They kissed again, as she undid the final button to his shirt.  She pushed it off his arms and discarded it on the floor along with her own.  She began to trace her fingers along his now bare chest.

“I won't fear love,” she repeated.  A large, pink candle was burning brightly on a nearby table.  Willow bent over slowly and blew it out.

{And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it}
{I won't fear love}
{And if I feel a rage, I won't deny it}
{I won't fear love.}
{I won't fear love}
{I won't fear love}



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