TITLE: A Chance Was Offered
AUTHOR: Meawan
EMAIL:
meawan@msn.com
RATING: 15
SPOILERS: None
SUMMARY: Someone or somthing is examining Giles' life
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its characters are owed by WB, Joss
and their corresponding production companies. I am not making any profit
what-so-ever by using them in this fiction.
NOTE: I am grateful to GylzGirl and Kazza for Betaing, and helping me with
this work. It has taken me awhile to get it right. And please forgive me for
the multiple posts.
"Hello? Anyone in there?" Came a voice through the wooden door.
Giles struggled up from the couch. "Doesn't anyone sleep on a Saturday any more?" he mumbled, straightening up. Then as a wave of nausea and Friday night festivities hit him, he bent over resting his hands on his thighs, groaning.
"Hello, are you all right?" Urgency coloring the stranger's tone.
Giles opened the door and a woman stood there. "Hello," she said brightly. "Do you have a personal relationship with..."
He was already understanding her. "Jesus? Yes I have, and he wants to be asleep this morning too." He started shutting the door.
Her foot blocked the door. "Rupert Giles, you think you know everything. But the end is nigh." She touched him on the arm. As he fell, Giles registered surprise at the use of his name before he knew only darkness.
************************
The room was bathed in white light. The walls, floor and ceiling were white. Giles squinted against the brightness of the room. "W... where am I?" just speaking made him dizzy.
"Be careful." the voice boomed. "The effect of the drug is wearing off."
"What am I doing here?"
"Just talking you know. Trying to understand who you are." The voice was serene.
The couch he was lying on was soft and low to the ground. Giles tried to clear his head, but as soon as he turned his head the room spun around him. "Who are you?"
"I am asking the questions here."
He shut his eyes, 'I can't be here, this is dangerous.' he thought.
"I'm not dangerous. I can be pleasant, charming. But to you, I'm your conscious. Yes, your inner voice, your id. Perceptive, I know. I always am. Today, I am your perception. Not your nightmare, that's trite."
He opened his eyes and the room dimmed, the light coming from the walls surrounding him. "You read my thoughts." he stated. "Well that's expected. This is a dream?"
"No, your dreams are your own." the voice laughed. "I don't invade them. I don't want to know anything that's in your dreams." The tone suddenly became harsh. "Dreams look and taste like shit. I want to know what's in your reality. I can tell what's in your heart, I know what you hide and why you hide it. I know all about Ripper and Rupert and it disgusts me."
Silence, the voice stopped. Giles was sure she...it, was expecting more from him, a reaction. He struggled to keep control, more angry than frightened. "So what do you have in mind for me, torture until I tell you all my secrets?"
"What's with the sarcasm? You're asking me? Believe it or not, I hate sarcasm. I hate all that emotional playing around. I like truth. Plain simple, sure truth. Something I can rely on. Something I can taste. Can you tell the truth? Well?"
Giles tugged on the restraints, wondering if he'd been taken out of Sunnydale. "I'm waiting." the voice said patiently.
"I have no truths to tell." Perhaps this person wanted truths about Buffy. He wasn't going to give them what they wanted if that were the reason for his kidnapping. "I'm not going to give you anything. I know nothing." he continued bravely.
"Sad isn't it?" The voice was full of disgust. "You have the perfect opportunity to make good on your promises and you let me down."
"Let you down?" he said chuckling, knowing that this was absurd. Let who down? "Lets stop this playing around. Who are you and what am I doing here?"
"Demands? Let me show you what we do when you get demanding." The restraints
that held his arms down suddenly became tight, digging into his forearms.
"Bloody hell," he swore, pulling his legs up slightly. The leather straps only tightened. His arms felt as if they were being cut in half. "Oh god," he cried. "I've nothing to t...tell you."
"Are you sure?"
"N…no. Bloody fucking hell. S... stop...."
"Well lets not swear Rupert. It's unseemly for a gentleman like you to swear.
It's like putting a hat on the statue of David."
"Uhh... You can k... keep doing this tor...torture... b... but I have nothing to say." His arms were turning purple.
Whoever was at the controls ignored him and continued. "So, what's next? Who
else are you going to turn your back on? Who else are you going to let down? Hmm?"
Suddenly the cuffs released and the blood rushed back into his hands causing them to tingle painfully. "I see, you're tired of my questions. Well, I'm tired of asking them, so we're even... for now."
Giles was busy flexing his hands to stop the stinging. They smarted like hell. He tried to remember the face of the woman at his door this morning, wondering if he knew her. The details were fuzzy, but he felt sure he didn't know her.
But who would know he was here anyway? The problem with not being employed is
that no one would be missing him for a while. So he could be here indefinitely. He could try to get whoever was talking to tell him where he was. Asking her outright didn't help. But he could try to get around it, he thought.
"Let me see, hockey. I love Hockey." the voice broke in on his thoughts. "The ice is cold and the action is lighting fast. It's better then basketball. And far better than Football and Soccer."
"Then we are some place with sports teams?"
"Getting sneaky are we Rupert? How about we talk of something else? Sing...
anything. Just sing..." Giles sang a few bars of Ruby Tuesday, it was quite good, but the voice groaned. "Oh stop, that's awful. Who told you, you could sing? That's worse than eating an onion. Hold on a minute."
Giles heard another voice muffled in the background. "Yes Nancy? Oh he's just
fine. You can go home, I'll lock up. Goodnight."
"And you need a breath mint. You've been drinking... You like to drink in the
morning don't you. You still disgust me."
"Then let me go."
"No, I'm not going to let you go. You can sit there until hell freezes over." The anger in the voice was harsh and biting. Like the very life of him made her sick. "Or you can come clean and tell me why you're taking out your guilt and anger over being fired on Buffy?"
"What?" he was aghast. "I don't know anyone named Buffy." he lied.
"Come now, aren't we too old for games?" The voice was at once sarcastic.
If it was Buffy they wanted, he wasn't going to give her to them. "Games? I'm
afraid I don't know what you're saying."
His bonds slowly started to tighten again. "We can hurt you. Do you understand that?" Giles didn't answer and the leather straps suddenly sucked into the couch taking his arms with it. Giles screamed long and loud as the edges dug trenches into his forearms.
"You've been a bad boy for taking out your frustration on Buffy and the others.
"B... bloody hell. I've done nothing of the sort." he grunted. He was suddenly free of his bonds, the straps disappeared into the couch.
"I guess you're not going to do anything 'of the sort'. And stop swearing, you're getting on my nerves. Well you sure earned your nickname. As far as I'm concerned you're pig swill. Goodnight Rupert, let's see if you're ready to cooperate in the morning."
The lights went out, leaving him in total darkness.
****************************
"Can you hear me?" It was Willow's voice, way up high. She was telling him something. Then just as the world righted, he was spinning again.
"Willow?" Something hot and wet fell against his face. Tears, from Willow?
"Giles, don't talk okay? I'm going to call the ambulance."
He couldn't hear the end of her sentence he was falling again and didn't understand what was happening.
*****************************
Part 2
He was ready for them when the lights flashed on again. Despite the darkness, Giles managed to get his arms free. He figured that they were going to have to feed him and when they did, he would be ready. He wondered where Willow was and couldn't fit the answers to the questions he had about where he was.
However, when his captors came through the door, he would be free.
When the door of his prison opened, he leapt up from the couch and grabbed who came through the door, only to find himself looking up at that person from the floor.
The woman laughed, "You naughty boy! You slipped away while I was gone.
Attack me all you want, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Thrust at the walls of your prison, I don't care." He could now see the face of his tormentor. Although this was not the voice who talked to him earlier.
This was a small slim woman with fiery red hair and bright blue eyes.
Her mouth was made for laughing, and looked as if it spent a lot of time doing
so. She laughed more. "Would you like your dinner now? No? You can starve if
you want to. We'll just feed you in other ways. This is more pleasant."
"Who are you?" he was tired of asking this question. But seeing as he was slowly getting nowhere with escaping he might as well keep asking.
"You can call me Robin." She helped him up. He tried to get her arm up behind
her, and ended up on the floor again. "This is getting tedious. You can't hurt me. Let me help you get up and then you can eat?" Her tone was tender, but still full of laughter.
"You put drugs in my food." Giles knew the routine by now. "Willow was here
wasn't she?"
Robin touched his face. "Now why would we put drugs in your food? Well we could put drugs in your food. However, you imagining drugs in your food is more beneficial. So I can honestly say I don't know if your food is drugged."
A man entered the room carrying a tray and set it down on the floor. The mell was enticing, but Giles wasn't ready to eat just yet. Robin turned to face him. "Willow wasn't here."
Well at least Giles knew that some of his questions could be answered. "Are
you with the Council?"
"No we're not affiliated with the Watcher Council," Robin answered simply.
"Quentin Travers?"
"Hmm… Quentin Travers… No, name doesn't ring a bell."
"Vampires?"
"Vampires? I don't think so."
All his questions were being answered, and leading him nowhere. "Is this a psychiatric ward?"
Robin giggled. "Psychiatric ward, hold on let me ask… Martin? Hey Martin! Are we a psyche ward?" Giles heard a man laugh heartily beyond the half-open door.
"See, I guess we're not a psyche ward. Any other questions?"
Giles eyed the tray of food on the floor. He was hungry and slightly irritated. Robin answered the question he was going to ask. "Oh yes, chef does a great job. Last night we had Poulain Ala Greck with baby red potatoes, mixed green salad with candied walnuts and raspberry vinaigrette. We had sponge cake with fresh blackberries and creme fresh. It was yummy. Today we're having Chicken Wild Rice soup and rosemary flat bread." She set it on his lap. "Not eating? The food is very good, cooked with loving hands."
"Why am I here?" The sarcasm was back in his voice.
"Oh dear, are we on that old wheeze again? I told you, you have to admit that you are angry at Buffy for getting you fired. You're taking it out on her, among other things."
"All right, I am angry at Buffy for getting me fired, and I'm taking it out on her," he said flatly.
"Wow, you repeated that so wonderfully. I only asked you to admit it. I don't know why I try. You are more tiresome by the minute. The way you make yourself suffer just sickens me."
She stood in front of him, her arms across her chest. Her disapproval rolled off her like fog. She was waiting for him to say something. "Tick-tock-tick-tock there goes the nasty school-room clock."
While he was thinking of something else to say a high thin wailing could be heard echoing slightly around the room. "Is that screaming?" At first it sounded like sirens.
"I don't follow you. Screaming?" Robin looked at him like he'd sprouted another head. Giles waved his hand in the air gesturing for her to listen. "Oh that screaming… " She looked away from him. "It's just Willow. She's proving to be especially difficult. Be thankful you're not being burned alive."
His heart sank. She said Willow was screaming?
"Don't look so surprised! I said we weren't going to torture you."
His anger blazed to the surface, "What are you doing to her?" It seemed as if he weren't the only one to be taken. "If you touch her, I'll kill you."
Robin put her hand to her lip thoughtfully. "Hmm did I say burnt? Wait, let me get the list." She leaned out the door. "Martin do we have the list on Rupert's friends? Thanks. Say, that's a lovely tie. Bloomingdales?" Martin must've answered her, but Giles couldn't understand the words. "Really? For that much I'd buy a whole suit of ties."
She came back with a handful of papers. "Let me see, with the absence of Angel and Cordelia that leaves Buffy, Willow, Xander and Oz. Oh and yours truly," she pointed at him. "Oh dear, I made a mistake. Buffy's the one getting burned. Willow's on the Mill Wheel. I know why she's screaming; that thing goes fast!"
His world shrank, Buffy, Willow and the others were here as well. Suddenly things became rather desperate for him. "Why?"
"To be honest, you're so good at what you do that torturing you to get you to tell the truth was doing no good. We decided to get you where you are the weakest. Your friends."
"What about Xander and Oz?" he whispered.
"Xander and Oz are in waiting rooms like this one."
"Did you take them before or after you took me?"
"After," she replied.
His fists clenched and he stood. He could take the abuse to himself. Perhaps it was penance for the things he had done in his life. But he could not stand his friends being tortured for his past sins. This was more than he could bear. "I'll kill you if they're hurt in any way."
"You're going to kill me. Me? You can't even touch me to hurt me," she laughed as the screaming became louder. "We'll see how you are after your lunch, perhaps you'll be ready to talk to me rationally."
Willow's voice was alternately crying and coughing. There was nothing he could do to stop it, and Robin knew it. "Now stop going on about it. Complaining never got anyone anywhere." The door slammed cutting off Willow in mid-scream.
************************
"Oh god, there's so much bleeding." It was Willow again. Cool hands pressed against his forehead, sirens were blaring in the distance. Stabbing pains shot through his head and he groaned.
"The phones are out because of the storm." She was panicking.
"Ph..phones?" Just the act of speaking made him want to vomit.
He felt her lips caress his chin. "Stay with me Giles. Just listen to my voice."
"What the devil are you talking about? I'm here," he said angrily. But apparently all that came out was gibberish.
"I don't understand." Her voice was getting farther away. Giles could feel himself slipping away from her.
"Stay with me please?" Was the last thing he heard.
*********************
Part 3
Giles took his feelings out on his lunch and on the room. He managed to turn his tray into a lump of twisted metal and the food was spread on the floor. Feeling satisfied that Robin would be horrified at the state of his prison, he waited until she came back.
"Are we calm now?" She asked as she came into the room. The expression on her
face was ludicrous. Stopping in mid-sentence, she looked as if she'd swallowed garlic. "Oh dear a little rebellious aren't we? Yuck, you did a number on your lunch. Well then it means you lose a little freedom. I'm afraid we have to feed you the old fashioned way."
Hand fed Giles? He doubted it, but at least he was scoring one off of Robin. Or was he?
He could hear Robin talking. "Martin! Yes, yes... he won't eat poor thing. He's bound and determined to suffer. I think IV will do the trick. But then, he's soiled himself too. So we'll have to put a catheter in. I think it's very sad. Now he won't be able to move."
A man, presumably Martin, came back with Robin and they both were carrying stainless steel trays. Plastic wrapped bags of needles and tools lay on the top. Martin left smiling and came back with an IV stand and surgical gloves.
Giles grabbed at Robin fearfully, but his hands went right through her. "Now sit still. You can't grab my hand so don't try. See? All your violence is wasted on me. It's physically impossible to hurt me."
On hearing this, Giles made a proper fuss, trying to get up off the couch. He took a few well-aimed punches at Martin, but he ended up on the floor again. "Please don't," he begged. "Please."
Martin ignored him, taking his right arm and pressing in the crook of his elbow for a vein. Once he was sure he'd found one, he gave Giles a wide smile and pulled open a bag containing a pre-filled syringe. "There, the needle goes in slowly and you go bye-bye all nice and pretty."
*************************
Willow was holding his head as he vomited into a bucket. By the way his guts felt, this wasn't the only time he'd thrown-up. "Lie back okay?"
She eased him down onto the pillow, wrapping a cool cloth around his neck. He could smell herbs and flowers. "I'm steeping some mint for you to take. Can you open your eyes?"
All he could see was a fuzzy outline of her face when he finally got his eyes open. "Where's Robin?"
"Giles, I don't know who you're talking about." Her voice was low. A sudden crack of thunder brought her to her feet as he heard the front door burst open. Wind and rain poured into the room. All he hear was her saying over and over again. "Oh god, Oh god."
*********************
"Are you awake? You look awful. You really do. Was that so hard?" The questions were asked in such a way that she didn't expect answers. He was cold and groggy.
She busied herself with his various tubes and instruments talking all the time. "Sorry we had to take your clothes away. We need to see if you are getting enough fluids. This would be much nicer if you would just eat normally."
His head rolled from one side to the other. "Shall I describe what I see? I see, you've stopped talking. I am sure you think this is just another way to be rebellious. However, this only makes it harder. I don't care, you're running the show. I'm only here to make it nicer for you."
His head snapped in her direction. 'Nicer for me?' he thought angrily.
"Ah yes, the quintessential flash of anger. How expected of you. As I look at your face, I see laugh lines around your eyes, although I know you don't do a lot of laughing. Hmm, I wonder what Jenny saw? Oh you can't be surprised that I know about her. I know everything about you."
Nothing she said made any difference to him. He only knew that she wouldn't stop until she extracted what she wanted from him. "Tongue not loose yet? I'm thinking that you feel you are being brave or defiant, denying me the truth. It's admirable but pathetic. You're benefiting no one but yourself. The truth shall set you free Rupert..."
Martin opened the door abruptly. "Hello again Martin. Have you brought someone to visit Rupert?"
"She's ready, but I don't know if it'll do any good."
Robin prodded Giles. "Martin is about to bring a friend of yours in here. If you are nice and gentlemanly we shall free you from your IV and catheter so you can function as a human. If you are bad, and act unseemly, we shall take her away and continue her therapy."
Giles heard the scrape and wet flop on the floor. He slowly looked in the direction. His mind was flooded with unreasonable anger. However, behind that was a desperate helplessness. There was simply nothing he could do.
"What you see before you is a sopping wet Willow sporting a blindfold. Now dear don't flail so, or Martin will come in here to fetch you. You are here to put Rupert's mind at ease, or loosen his tongue, whatever comes first. Now be nice you two. I'm going to retrieve Rupert's dinner from the kitchen."
Giles turned his head. Already weak from lack of food, even that small action made him dizzy. "Willow," he croaked.
"Giles?" she sobbed. "Why are they doing this?"
"They want something from me."
"Give it to them, Please!" She crawled on the floor, leaving a wide wet space.
He couldn't look anymore. "Take her away..."
Robin was suddenly at his side. "Oh Rupert, it's so sad. She looked genuinely unhappy. I am trying to help you. Help me to help you. This can stop and will stop when you give up. Fighting is a good thing, but in your case it's just delaying the inevitable."
Giles didn't have the strength to look at his tormentor. "If I knew what you wanted, I would give it to you."
"All right, if that's the way you wanna play it." Robin turned the lights out, leaving the room in complete darkness. "Goodnight," she said cheerfully and shut the door.
***********************
"W…Willow, you're wet."
"It's okay the storm blew the door open, there's flooding." She was beside him stroking his hair.
"They hurt you?" Talking was hard for him as every syllable made his head throb.
"No one's hurt me. We're alone."
"Shh… I can hear them." Giles tried to sit up.
"Please Giles, lay down, please?"
********************
Part 4
Giles had awakened only seconds before the lights came up in his cell. The door was still closed and Robin's voice came booming over the intercom.
"Good morning Sweet Ripper. How are we this morning?"
"Tired, hungry, angry. Anything else you want to add to that list?" he growled. The lights hurt his eyes, making them smart and tear.
Robin ignored him and continued, "Martin's recording this session today since you're not responding very well."
"How do you want me to respond?" He was tired of these continual questions.
"The truth Ripper, you know that. We all had such hopes for last night, when Willow came for a visit. I have to tell you, she was very sick after she left. Martin stayed up all night with her. We have to have the doctor see her before any more therapy. But I'm sure that she'll get a clean bill of health."
"Willow?" he whispered. She was hurt, or worse, dying. Thoughts of what Martin could be doing to her made him more hopeless. She was the light in his life these days, and now because he didn't know what truth to give Robin, she was…”
"My goodness you look weary, did you get any sleep last night? "Martin, did
you run a vid on Rupert last night?"
"Yes we did," Martin's strong voice answered.
"Was he awake?"
"Yes, for most of the night."
"Did he ask for me?"
"No, but we recorded elevated blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration."
Robin suddenly opened the door and rushed in, checking the IV, and monitoring. Giles didn't look, or even acknowledge her presence. "Well do you have anything to say to me?"
"Go to hell."
"There isn't any hell. So telling me to go there isn't an option. If there's a hell, you're as close to it as you'll ever get." She kissed him on the cheek. He angrily turned his head.
"Martin, please record that subject appears to be depressed. We should get him dressed and ready for his next guest. Can you send in Thomas?"
She took the pillow his head was resting on and plumped it before roughly depositing it back on the bed. "Thomas is an expert at getting things nice and tidy. Today we shall see about feeding you normally. The others have had gourmet food everyday… Well all except Buffy. I can tell you that the "heat therapy" hasn't been any good for her. With a Slayer's constitution you'd think she'd stand up to a lot of pain."
Giles closed his eyes, thinking of how strong the pain must've been to get a reaction out of her. "Why are you doing this?" he choked.
"She broke down halfway through." Robin ignored his question. She was tired of giving him the same answer and continued. "Timothy had to proceed with her unconscious. She loves you. Why? I don't know. But she does. With all that lying you are doing to her, it's a wonder that she has feeling for you at all."
The feeling that Buffy might love him hit him square in the chest. She needed
him, that was true, but for her to have an emotional tie to him was quite
different. All this time he was feeling like she was using him, his knowledge, and his loyalty, to further her relationship with Angel. It never occurred to him that she might love him. He hadn't noticed anything that was going on in his life.
"The real surprise is Willow… But I'm sure you could give a rip-or-a-snort about that."
"Pardon?"
"Willow… and how she feels about you… Please pay attention." She grabbed his
chin and he was almost nose to nose with her. "Your life just keeps getting more and more interesting."
The door opened letting in a large man wearing white scrubs. "Thomas, thanks for helping. Call me back in when he's dressed."
********************************
"Its raining." Willow put a glass to his lips. "Drink."
"W…what is it?" It smelled like grass.
"Something to ease your stomach. You've had a bad fall."
Willow watched as he sipped the drink. He'd been talking almost all the time, although most of it she couldn't understand. He fell back against the pillows, his skin pasty white.
It was raining hard when she ran up the steps to his apartment. The door was wide
open and Giles was laying on the floor, blood on the back of his head. The rain and wind blasted the door back and forth and Willow had a hard time closing it.
The phone and lights were out so Willow struggled to get him on the couch in the darkness.
As she watched him toss, she said a simple prayer. "Please goddess, let him be strong."
*********************
"Don't you look fantastic! You dark-double-breasted-sex-god. The tie fits you well. But don't think this softens my attitude towards you. I still think you're a bastard and a liar to the ones that love you."
For a moment Giles considered launching himself across the room. It was futility. She was indestructible.
"Take for instance Ethan. When you were young, he was your life and love. No one made you feel happier. However, when you had the opportunity to change his life and yours, you left."
"If you know so much about me, you'd know that he'd summoned Eyghon to possess me without my knowledge."
"Yes, he'd summoned Eyghon, and infected you with his special brand of chaos.
Ask yourself why. Why does he come back to you year after year? Why does he single you out?"
Giles had one answer, "To take revenge?" he said dully
Robin laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "Wrong answer, you'll get it eventually." She called up to the ceiling, "Martin open the door."
Ethan sidestepped his way into the small room. Robin extended her hand "Good
afternoon. Mr. Rayne, I will leave you to talk." The door shut quietly and he surveyed Giles. "Ripper, fancy meeting you here. Nice decor."
Giles lifted his head to gaze into the eyes of what he thought was his tormentor, the cause of this pain. "So you've done this to me."
Ethan shook his head, sadly. "No Ripper, I don't know how I got here."He sat down next to him, and put his hand on Giles' leg. "I was walking to my hotel, when I was run to the ground."
For the first time in his life, Giles thought he actually saw compassion and worry in Ethan's eyes. Ethan took Giles' hand and just held it, silently watching the tears drop down his face. "What have they done to you?" Ethan whispered.
"They've..." Giles stopped. "They want me to tell the truth. I... I'm not sure what they mean by that."
"I would get you out old boy, but she looks like she could bend me in half."
They just sat there, silently. Ethan held Giles' hand, patting it every once in a while. That small gesture cheered Giles slightly. "Ethan, did I fail you?"
"When?"
"When we were younger. Did I run away from you when I could've helped you?"
Ethan sighed. "Ripper, no one could have helped me. No one helps me now. You
know how it is between us. Love lost and all that nonsense. I made my own way
in the world, just as you did."
"Did you love me?" Giles' voice was low.
"Yes Ripper. I love you now." How casually that came out. Ethan didn't hesitate, while Giles would've stammered and sputtered.
"Why? Would you have made your life with me?"
"No, we went different ways. You left because your father took you away from
me." Ethan dragged his lips across Giles, chin. "One foot in my world and one
foot in your father's."
"And nothing for me," Giles answered sadly.
They fell silent. Ethan kissed and nibbled his way up to Giles' mouth and captured it in a smooth kiss. "You still excite me Ripper."
Giles smiled, suddenly realizing that he'd been denying himself an important part of his life. Was that it? Denial and want all wrapped up in lies and subterfuge. "If I should survive this, look me up."
"Ripper…"
"Shhh." Giles put his finger to Ethan's lips. "No tangles, just lunch."
Robin opened the door quietly. Giles' head was bent forward, and she mouthed a silent thank you to Ethan. He scowled at her, promising retribution for Giles' state.
"Time to go." Ethan gave Giles' hand a quick pat. "See you Ripper."
As the door shut quietly, Giles was aware of the fact that Robin was sitting next to him. "What are you thinking?"
"The truth, about myself. Is that what you want?"
"That's what I want for you. No life is complete without a self examination. We tried to get you to examine your life by torturing your friends. Yes we achieved pain on your part, but…"
Giles looked at her, she was real and he found he could touch her. "But?"
"Well I must admit our efforts were misplaced. I apologize."
He laughed, "You apologize."
"Yes, I don't often feel such measures are necessary. In your case, you kept everything hidden, your life as Ripper, your love for Willow and Ethan. And how you feel about Angel and Buffy, and her role in your firing. You blamed her partially for failing your father."
"I failed myself," he finished. Then he thought, "Wait, I made a choice."
Robin smiled. "You did indeed. Regrets?"
"Not anymore."
"Is there more Rupert?"
Giles took a breath and let it out slowly. "Did I really blame everyone but myself? Did I take it out on her because I couldn't face the fact that I got fired over what I did? I took responsibility but I didn't take the blame off Buffy. And I never forgave her over Angel. He makes her happy and miserable and I should've just supported her."
More silence followed that statement and Robin put a hand on his shoulder, encouraging more. "And I've tortured myself thinking that I could've saved Ethan, but he didn't want to be saved. And that by saving myself I was doing the right thing? He was lost before I met him."
"Willow. I'm too old for her, but God what I would give for a few minutes of bliss with her. Yes, I love her. But I keep us apart. This is a prison of my own making isn't it?"
"Yes." Robin stood up and offered her hand to him. "Now I told you the end is nigh. Time to walk into the light Rupert."
The end of his room suddenly brightened into a white light. He looked at its welcoming depths. "What's this?"
"You know what it is."
"I'm not finished. I need to make things right."
"This is your freedom. What you've done so far has got to be enough."Robin forced him to his feet. "Walk Rupert, there are people waiting for you."
Despite his fear, he walked forward. Wondering what awaited him on the other side.
********************
Part 5
A pot clanking in the sink woke him with a jolt. The door was wide open, the carpet balled up damply in the hallway. He was home and lying on the couch. Easing himself up from the couch, he wanted to look around but his head hurt so much that he flopped back down with a groan.
"Giles!" Willow was instantly beside him with a washcloth and a glass of water. "Thank the goddess. You're awake." Her face was wet and anxious.
"Willow…" He reached up and touched her face. She was here and he had a second chance. "What…"
"I came over to help you file away your books and you were lying on the floor. I think you slipped when you answered the door? Then the storm…" She was bathing the back of his head with the washcloth.
"Wow you have a lot of bumps back there." Her hands were gentle, and he inhaled deeply of her scent. A inexplicable gladness washed over him. "Um…you okay?"
"I feel wonderful," he cried.
"Okaayy… I'm gonna call Buffy." She rose, but Giles grabbed her hand.
He was giddy with expectations, and here was the chance to make them real. "Don't. I want you here right now."
Willow blushed, "You sure?"
"Very sure." He pulled her into his lap.
"Your head!" Willow batted at him. "You're hurt."
"No, I was hurt. Now I live." He kissed her slowly, tenderly, savoring her sweetness, celebrating his life A second chance was afforded him, and he intended to take it.
END