ANOTHER MOMENT
Laura Smith
Giles woke up, sweat glistening on his skin. He struggled to catch his breath, his eyes darting nervously around the room.
Tossing the covers aside, he got out of bed and slipped on his robe before making his way over to the window.
The city sprawled out below him. Twinkling lights and faint sounds of life drifted up with the cool night air. He turned to the table beside his bed, staring at the root of his nightmares.
The airline ticket lay there, bathed in the soft light of his bedside lamp. The date he'd given her had come and gone and he was still here in his apartment, wishing for the cold, hard light of day.
During the day, he could pretend it had all been a dream, that he'd suffered from a vivid fantasy. At night, he couldn't lie to himself. At night, his body remembered her touch, ached for her. He rested his head on the cool glass. "I'm sorry, Willow."
He'd promised to call her. He'd sworn his love as he'd buried himself inside her. Instead, he'd left the airport and given into fears he'd thought forgotten. He'd convinced himself it had been sheer coincidence instead of fate, complete accident instead of destiny. A chance that shouldn't have happened and would not come again.
That night, he'd woken from an unremembered nightmare and reached for the phone. He'd booked his flight just to still his pounding heart.
But he hadn't gone. He'd suffered through the restless nights, surviving on less sleep than when he'd been a Watcher.
It had been two months since he'd seen her, two months since he'd loved her. Two months of cowardice.
He pushed away from the window and forced himself to lie down again. He needed to call her. He needed to see her. He needed her.
***
The airport was crowded, loud with angry voices and voices filled with the sorrow of goodbye. His eyes searched to lobby, needing to see the flash of auburn hair, desperate for the simple image that would lead him to Willow.
He stopped, startled by the sight in front of him. Dark wavy hair, dark brown eyes that seemed to stare through him. "Xander?"
"Hey Giles. Wi…" his voice broke. "Willow said you were coming."
"Where is Willow? I…I would have thought she'd be here." A deep shaft of dread shot through him. "Where is she, Xander?"
"Willow…Giles, Willow's dead."
***
He woke himself up, the cry of anguish ripping through him. It took mere seconds to realize it had all been a dream. He was still home. Willow was still alive.
The peal of the phone sent yet another ripple of terror through him. He groped for the receiver and silenced it. "Hello?"
"Is this Rupert Giles?"
"Yes." The voice held a layer of anger and of sadness. "Who is this?"
"Giles?"
Oh God. Xander. How could he have not heard the frightened vulnerability that had always lurked behind the mocking tone? "Xander?"
"Giles, Willow needs you."
The line went dead as his heart stopped. Tossing the covers aside for a second time that night, he dressed quickly, grabbing the bag that had been packed since she left as he made his way to the door.
And to Sunnydale.
***
Xander looked up as the doors swung open, elbowing Oz in the ribs. He stood up and walked over to the podium.
"You're sure this is it?" Oz asked.
"This is the last one. If he's not on it, he's not coming."
"Did you tell him?"
"I told him she needed him. I figured that was saying enough."
"You think he'll come?"
"Willow wouldn't just have sex with someone. I'm assuming he cares a little."
"I'm hoping he cares more than that."
"She still has us."
"Yeah, but so far we haven't been able to stop anything, have we?"
Xander sighed, nodding his agreement. He looked over at the doors, tensing as the first passenger stepped into view. "Giles."
The Watcher looked over, heading for them. He seemed surrounded by a sense of urgency and worry. "Where is she? Is she all right?"
Xander held up a hand. "She's okay. Welcome back."
Giles was about to respond when Xander's right hook met him square in the jaw. Looking up from his new position on the floor, he took Oz's extended hand. The younger man helped him to his feet as Giles wiped away the blood that trickled out of his mouth. "Considering the fact that I spent an inordinate amount of my time in Sunnydale knocked unconscious, I suppose that's the greeting I should have expected."
"Don't make this a joke."
"Tell me what *this* is, Xander."
"Willow. I thought that was pretty clear."
Giles sighed, his patience wearing thin. "Willow needs me. Fine. Where is she?"
Oz shook his head. "It's sort of complicated." He looked at Xander for help. Xander simply shrugged.
"Do you have luggage?"
"No."
"Then let's go. We'll explain when we get there." He picked up the bag Giles had dropped when he'd fallen to the floor and headed for the nearest exit.
***
The ride was silent. Giles kept staring out the window, his eyes on the scenery but his mind on Willow. He'd let her down. The only thing that held him together was the fact that, were it very serious, Xander would not have stopped with only one punch.
The car stopped and they all climbed out. Xander led them all to one of the ground floor apartments. He knocked and turned to Giles. "She's marrying Percy in two weeks."
Giles stared dumbfounded as the two younger men walked away. The door opened and he turned toward it. Willow stood there wearing a pair of sweats and a baseball jersey, her hair pulled back into a casual ponytail.
Her eyes widened. "Wha…" Looking past him, she noticed Xander and Oz. The hope he'd seen shining from her eyes faded immediately. "Oh."
"I would guess I'm not welcome," Giles began.
She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "You would have been two months ago."
"I won't try and make excuses…"
"Good."
Giles watched in silence as she shut the door in his face. Sighing, he turned to Xander. "What now? You say she needs me, how am I supposed to do anything if she refuses to talk to me?"
"C'mon. You're staying with me." Xander got in the car, waiting for Giles and Oz to join him. They drove to Xander's apartment. Climbing out of the car, he sighed. "Come on, Oz. You might as well stay too."
They all walked into the house, Xander leading the way into the living room, grabbing a bottle off the counter as he walked past.
Giles sank into the chair opposite him. "Will you explain now?"
Xander broke the seal on the scotch. Taking a pull from the bottle, he passed it to Oz. "Willow came back, walking on air. She told us she'd run into you and had convinced you to come back for a visit."
Oz handed the bottle to Giles. "She didn't say anything else at all, but we both suspected. She was almost like new. Smiling more, like a kid again."
Giles held the bottle loosely. "And then?"
"You didn't call." Xander's tone was harsh. His eyes focused intently on Giles. "And then you didn't come." Giles lifted the bottle and drank. Accepting it from him, Xander continued. "She waited until then to admit what had happened."
"By that point, we hoped she wouldn't confirm our suspicions. You never seemed like that kind of guy." Oz took his drink and kept the bottle moving. "But you are, I guess."
"She acted like she was okay. We spent more time with her," Xander smiled as jealousy flared in Giles' eyes. "Just to make sure. Then about a two weeks ago, she started canceling dates with us. Saying she had something else she needed to do."
Giles took two drinks then looked at his hands. "I'm assuming she needed to be with this other…"
Xander's eyes darkened and Giles wondered briefly if Xander and Oz were truly over Willow. "Yeah. She was busy finding someone else to get you off her mind."
Oz took over as Xander drank. "She was really secretive for about a week. Then she brought him to meet us. Asked us for our blessing."
Giles laughed softly, no humor lacing his voice. "And did you give it?"
Oz shrugged, "Did we say, ‘Hey Willow, we really think you should marry Percy even though you don't love him'? No. Did we tell her we wanted what's best for her? Yeah."
Xander got up and grabbed a fresh bottle to replace the one they'd emptied. "She's in love with you," he stated. "You let her down."
"I know."
Oz took the bottle from Xander, cracked it open and offered it to Giles. "Why don't you tell us your side?"
He took a long pull, draining half the liquid. Letting the burn slide down his throat, he leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes. "It was amazing. She was everything I ever wanted. She knew my past and didn't care; she knows the things that give me nightmares. She's sweet, nice and kind. She's sexy. She…was my friend. And all of that history and fantasy…it was all there when we made love." He sighed. "It was like I came alive again when she touched me." Giles opened his eyes, pinning each of them with his gaze. "You both love her. Surely you know?"
Xander met his stare. "Sounds like a fairy tale. What went wrong?"
"Nothing. And everything." Giles took another drink before giving Xander the bottle. "I got scared. For the first time in my life, I was scared that I didn't know the right thing to do. I was petrified of what came next. What we had was like a moment out of time. Something…unbelievable in the real world. I was petrified that I would step back into Sunnydale and everything would be different…and exactly the same."
Oz stood and got the next bottle. "Why not call?"
"You know her." Giles' eyes were pleading this time. "I would have heard her voice and relented, let her wash over me again and lose myself in her. I was afraid of letting emotion blind me."
"So instead, you locked the emotion up and let it kill you slowly?" Xander grabbed the bottle from Oz and opened it. Taking a healthy swig, he glared at Giles. "You didn't give a thought to what it was doing to her, did you? Just figured someone else would deal with the fallout." Standing, Xander slammed the bottle on the coffee table. "And thanks to your self indulgent behavior, Willow's going to marry a man she doesn't love who just wants to get in her pants."
Oz watched Xander storm out of the room. "He's right, you know," he said after a long silence. "You didn't think about what this would do to her at all. She was afraid that no one would ever love her again, that she wasn't desirable, that you needed…someone and she was handy."
"I would never use her that way."
"And if she were thinking clearly, she'd realize that. But she's ruled by her heart right now, and I'm afraid she's following a broken path."
***
Willow waited until Percy was safely in his car before turning off the porch light and shutting the door. Heaving a sigh of relief, she slipped the deadbolt and leaned back against the cool wood. Tears came unbidden into her eyes. "Damn you," she whispered.
Pushing away from the door, she made her way into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, trying to put distance between her and her thoughts. But they were there, haunting her. He was haunting her, hiding behind her eyes so that she saw him, even when she was trying to block his face out of her mind.
She'd thought she'd hurt before, when Xander had broken her heart, or when Oz had cheated on her with Veruca then disappeared for months. But neither could compare with how she'd felt, sitting at the airport, waiting for him to come. Waiting until the next day, refusing to believe he wasn't coming.
But, in the end, she'd had to believe it, had to let the hurt wash over her. She'd called him, needing to know he was okay, even if he wasn't with her. The softly feminine voice that had answered his phone had been like a red-hot poker shoved through her heart. She could still hear the words; they haunted her almost as much as he did.
"I've got it, Ripper, go back to bed. Hello?"
She'd asked for someone else, letting them think it was a wrong number. That night, after a particularly late session in the lab, Percy had asked her out for a drink. She'd said yes, too numb to think. They'd gone to dinner and he'd kept the wine flowing. He'd taken her home and she'd invited him in, into her house and her bed.
And she'd called him Rupert.
That hadn't gone over all that well. He'd left, angry and hurt. As soon as the door had slammed shut behind him, she'd curled up into a ball and wept, wondering if this pain would ever stop.
Willow shook her head, banishing the memories. She'd gone to Percy the next day and apologized, explaining that she'd just gone through a particularly nasty break-up. He'd been sympathetic and they'd gone out a few more times. Then he'd admitted that she'd been on his mind since high school and he was wondering if she would marry him.
That was, if she was over "the old man."
She'd answered yes to both questions, wondering if either of them believed the lie.
Sitting at her vanity, Willow stared at her reflection. "You're an idiot, you know that Rosenberg? You're never going to be over him, no matter how hard you try. Not that you're even close to trying." The sight of him, rumpled from the flight, tired, hopeful, hurt and…simply Rupert had hit her heart just as hard as that other woman's voice.
She'd wanted to throw herself into his arms. She'd wanted to smooth his hair back and lose herself in his eyes. She'd also wanted to kick him so hard his stomach would be lodged somewhere in his throat along with a few other choice pieces of anatomy.
Laughing softly, sadly, she got up and made her way to the bed, undressing as she went, tossing the clothes on the floor. Slipping between the cool sheets, she closed her eyes and cried until she drifted off to sleep.
***
The door of Xander's apartment opened slowly, allowing Willow to slip in without opening it very far. The curtains were drawn and the entire room was dark. Letting her eyes adjust for a moment, she smirked when she saw the sight before her. Striding over to the window, she grabbed the cord and pulled hard, letting in the bright morning sunlight.
"Aaaah!" Xander's hand reflexively covered his eyes, hiding him from the glare. "Willow…" he moaned.
Oz practiced blinking, sure that he would be able to perfect it as soon as his brain emerged from the alcoholic haze. "It's a good thing we're not vamps."
Giles, his back to the window, came awake more slowly. Fumbling for his glasses, he turned slightly to look at Willow's thin frame, silhouetted by the light. Her eyes were on him, looking him over, looking for a sign of anything that would explain his absence. Finding nothing, she took a deep breath and looked away.
"Good thing it's Sunday. And a good thing you ran out of booze." She walked around the couch and sat on an empty chair. "Do we have plans today, boys?"
"Sleeping?" Xander asked.
"I want you to go with Percy," Willow said softly, trying hard to keep any emotion from her voice. "He's picking out his tux and arranging some last minute things for me."
"This whole wedding is last minute, Willow." Xander wouldn't look at her. "You're rushing into it. If he loves you, if you love him, why can't you wait to do it properly?"
"If we love each other, Xander, why should we wait?" She looked at Oz. "Dingoes will be the entertainment?"
"Of course."
Turning to Giles, she smirked at him. "My dad died about four years ago. Would you like to give me away?" Watching his eyes, she almost laughed. "I mean, it would be only fitting." Without waiting for his answer, she got up and walked to the door. "Percy will be here in an hour. Don't let him," she pointed to Giles. "Do anything."
The door slammed behind her, forcing all three men to wince at the harsh sound. Giles rubbed his forehead with his hand, willing the sorrow inside him to disappear. "Well, that went well."
"If Percy's coming over here," Oz said with a smile, "I would guess that would mean Willow would be alone."
Xander nodded slowly. "She would. We could probably keep Percy out for quite a while if we tried." He looked over at Giles. "Okay G-man, truth time. If we give you a window of opportunity, are you going to take it? Are you going to take a chance and try and do the right thing? Or are you too much of a coward to be with the woman you love?"
***
The doorbell rang and Willow's sighed in relief. "It's about time," she muttered as she strode angrily to the door. "Where the hell have you been?"
Giles stood there, lit by the sun, his eyes devouring her. "In all the wrong places, love."
"That's an understatement." She started to shut the door, giving up when he caught it and pushed it back open. "Go away, Giles. I'm expecting the caterer and I don't have time to chat."
"I'm not here to chat." He sat on the loveseat and leaned back against the arm, his body reclined back in comfort. "Chatting implies relaxed conversation. From the looks of you, I would say that anything we have to say to each other would be laced with tension."
"We have nothing to say to each other. We haven't had anything to say to each other since you didn't show up. You didn't call, you didn't write…you just didn't. You disappeared, just like you did when you left Sunnydale and I'm not about to forgive you for it. There was a hell of a lot more at stake this time, Rupert, and you…" She stopped, willing herself not to cry. "You disappointed me."
"I disappointed myself." Giles got up and walked over to the window. His eyes stayed trained on Willow as she leaned against her desk, her arms folded over her chest in defense. "I wanted to come. I wanted to get on the plane and find you again, love you again. I wanted to pretend that the stares and accusations wouldn't matter and I could live with you, happily ever after…or even for just a while longer. But I had to face the truth, Willow. What we have…had…what we had was simply a magical moment, stolen from the real world."
"Is that so?" Her lower lip trembled. "It meant that little to you?"
"I'm saying this all wrong."
"Not if that's how you feel." She moved to the bar, pouring herself a drink. "I honestly believed it was more than words, Giles. I believed you when you said that you loved me. I trusted you with my body and my heart…"
"Which you then conveniently gave away to Percy."
"I gave him nothing that you hadn't already given away." Willow glared at him. "What's her name…? Ripper."
"Her?"
"Her. The woman I spoke to at your apartment. The one who answered for you, sending you back to bed. Who was she? Just another old acquaintance like Olivia? One you conveniently take to bed whenever she happens to be in town?"
"That's not fair." Giles moved toward her, taking her shoulders in his hands, forcing her to face him. "We had no…" he stopped, his eyes caught by hers. The sadness in the green depths was like a net, dragging him beneath the waves. "Have you been faithful to me, Willow?"
"I was until I knew you weren't coming. I never expected you to come…" She stopped, shaking her head as she struggled to keep from crying.
Giles raised one hand from her shoulder and captured her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "They told me you needed me."
"I needed you before and you didn't come." Her eyes swam with tears as she stared up at him. "I needed you so much…"
Giles bent his head, brushing her lips with his own. Willow let out a soft cry as his breath grazed her skin. "I need you too, love."
"Rupert," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck. His arms slipped around her waist, lifting her up, fitting her body to his. Willow pressed hard against him, her lips molding to his.
Giles opened his mouth, allowing her tongue to slip inside. One hand found its way into her hair, winding it through his fingers, holding her head in place as he devoured her.
Wrapping her legs around his waist, Willow ground against him, feeling the hardness of him through his slacks. Giles groaned, stumbling backwards until his legs hit the couch and he collapsed down on it. Willow got to her knees, holding him down as she began unbuttoning his shirt.
Her fingers scraped across his skin, sending shivers of desire through him as she ground down onto him, the heat of her desire building above him. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back, giving in to the sensation of her touch. He'd missed her touch so much.
Brushing the fabric of his shirt aside, Willow ran her fingers lightly over his skin, reviving memories and making new ones as she tangled them in the short, golden hair of his chest. His nipples were hard and tight as she lowered her head, capturing one between her teeth.
Giles bucked off the couch, his body thrusting against hers as she ground her teeth gently, arousing him even further. The mixture of pleasure and pain danced down every nerve ending as he grabbed her hips and pulled her down hard on top of him. His hands slid from her hips, up her back, moving under her shirt along her soft, delicate skin.
Every movement pressed her closer to him. His hands found her bra and unfastened it, easing the material away from her back as he continued his exploration along her spine. Wrapping his hands over the back of her shoulders, he held her there, her face poised just inches away from his.
Willow ducked her head, letting her shirt slip over it. Giles tossed the material aside, tugging her bra along with it. The hard peaks of her nipples brushed his skin, soft and supple against hard and rough. His hand caught the curve of her neck and guided her head down to his. "Willow…" he breathed softly.
She mewled quietly, rubbing her cheek against his, searching for his lips with her own. She found them, nibbling on the lower one, sucking and kissing it as she tasted him.
Giles' hand sought out one of her breasts, kneading it gently, trying to keep away from the rigid peak as long as he could. Willow was struggling for breath as she continued to lick and kiss him, nibbling any flesh that looked appetizing. "Oh Willow…"
"Willow?"
Willow shoved off of Giles, landing on the floor with a loud thump. She scrambled for her shirt, tugging it over her head, pushing her bra underneath the couch. Giles forced himself to sit up, pulling one of the throw pillows onto his lap to hide the effect she had on him.
Collapsing into a chair opposite Giles, Willow looked around wildly, searching for any sign of their indiscretion. A nervous hand wound through her hair, struggling to straighten it back into some semblance of a style before Percy rounded the corner and walked into the living room.
"Hey Honey," Willow stood and walked over to him, pressing a casual kiss against his lips. "Back so soon?"
Percy's eyes were focused on Giles. "What's the old man doing here, Will?"
"We were talking…he's going to be giving me away at the wedding." She could barely catch her breath as she raised a hand to her lips, wondering if they were as swollen with passion as the rest of her felt. "You're home early. Where are Xander and Oz?"
"They're bringing the stuff in. I wanted to rush in here and see you," he lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "Since you sent me home last night without any supper." His hand drifted to her breast, giving it a soft squeeze. "Well, you're ready for me, aren't you?"
Giles tried hard to keep his disgust from showing in his face. Willow refused to meet his eyes, staring up at her fiancé instead. His finger brushed over her nipple and she shivered. Giles saw the simple motion and stood. "Well then. I think we're done here, yes? Just let me know when you're ready for me and I'll be there."
Willow met his eyes. "Right. I'll give you a call. At Xander's?"
"You should be able to reach me there." He nodded to Percy, trying to damp down the anger inside him, struggling desperately to get out and throttle the stupid bastard, manhandling Willow as though she were something cheap and on display. "Percy."
He smiled triumphantly. "Giles."
Willow looked at him, her green eyes following him as he walked away. As soon as he was gone, she turned back to Percy. "Did you get your tux?"
"Why was he here?" His tone was low and dangerous. "I thought you were over him."
"I am. I was…he came over to see how I was. And I asked him to give me away."
His finger traced over her lips and she flinched. "You've got a cut."
Her tongue darted out. "Paper cut from the envelopes. I kept nibbling at it, and now it's bigger." She pulled out of his arms and grabbed her purse, pulling a mirror from it and looking over the damage. "Wow."
"It'll heal." Percy gathered her back into his arms and smiled down at her, leading her into the bedroom. "Come on. I'll kiss it to make it better."
***
Giles slammed the door of Xander's car and fell back against the seat. "You have the most…inopportune timing known to man."
"We don't. Percy does. We accidentally let it slip that you were in town and…well, he decided he didn't want to go shopping anymore." Xander shrugged. "I'm guessing it didn't go well?"
"It was going exceedingly well," Giles smirked. "At least until that…Neanderthal marched in and started marking his territory." Oz raised his eyebrows. "No offense meant, Oz."
"None taken."
"Damn it!" Giles slammed his fist against the dashboard. "Fuck."
"Well, you've still got a few days," Xander reminded him.
"Her guard will be up. If she's got any sort of emotion at all for him, she's not going to let me waltz in there and do what I did…not again. She's going to be wary. She's going to be on guard. She's going to…" Giles swallowed. "Christ."
"What?"
He shook his head, not wanting to think, but unable to get the image from his mind.
"What is it, Giles?" Xander asked.
"He's not stupid, he must know." Leaning back against the seat, Giles closed his eyes tight. "He's taken her to bed by now, I would imagine. Probably taking advantage of…Fuck." The last word was nothing but a tortured whisper. "Oh God."
Xander opened his mouth to speak, stopping when he saw Oz's face in the rear-view mirror. He saw the distaste in Oz's glance and realized what Giles had meant. "I can turn the car around and you can go kill him. He's probably got some demon blood in him somewhere."
"No, he's simply all too human." Giles looked out the window, careful to avoid the other men's eyes. "Although how much of a comment is it on the absurdity of our lives that I'm the one trying to break up their soon to be marriage and yet Percy is the villain?"
"You love her," Oz reminded him. "Percy…Percy's just trying to score with the girl he couldn't get in high school. But Willow…she's addictive."
The other two men nodded, ignoring the other's responses. Xander turned into his driveway and parked. "So, what now?"
"I don't know," Giles admitted. "But I think whatever it is, it needs to start with a very stiff drink."
***
Willow stepped under the spray of the shower, washing the afternoon away. The hot water beat down on her, darkening her pale flesh to a flushed red. Tears mixed with the water, running down her cheeks as she sank down onto the floor.
Her mind kept playing over and over the shower she'd taken with Giles, placing it in stark counterpoint to the one she was taking now, trying desperately to wash the feel of her fiancé off of her. She could still feel the imprint of Percy's touch, so harsh and demanding compared to Giles' sensuous touch. With Giles she felt cherished, loved. With Percy she felt pawed and degraded.
"Wills? You want company?" He pulled the door back and stepped in, hissing as the hot water touched him. He looked down at her, huddled underneath the spray. Reaching over her head, he shut off the water and knelt down. "Are you all right, Willow? Did you fall?"
"I…I slipped…I caught myself, but it hurt. I might run by and see the doctor…the chiropractor." She smiled weakly.
"Of course," he stroked her hair back from her face. "I don't want you hurt for our wedding." Grinning widely, he raised his eyebrows. "And more especially, our wedding night."
Sniffing back tears, Willow nodded. "Right."
"I've got to get to work. It's almost five. You'll be all right here tonight? Alone?"
"I'll be fine. I've got a lot to do." She held his eyes, wondering if he could see the lie as well as she could see the challenge. Not that it was a lie, necessarily. Surely Giles would have figured out what Percy intended. Most likely he knew that she'd been taken to bed and taken…though not precisely against her will, just against her better judgement.
Percy turned the water back on after helping Willow to her feet. "I've got to get ready," he watched her climb out of the shower, his eyes appreciative. "I love you."
She nodded, "Love you too."
***
Giles slammed the shot glass onto the table. "Gimme ‘nother."
"Right." Xander nodded and tipped the bottle, managing to get at least some of the liquor into the glass. "What'll we drink to?"
Oz raised his glass, gazing at it cross-eyed. "I'm upside down."
"Shhh," Xander glared in Oz's general direction. "Ruppie here is thinkin'. We gotsta toast."
Giles lifted his glass to the vicinity of his nose and saluted both of them. "To Willow. The finest damn woman I ever bedded."
"Agreed," Oz nodded.
"Ditto," Xander clinked his glass against the other two.
"Christ, you both slept with ‘er?" Giles tried to glare but failed miserably. "When was this?"
"College," Oz mumbled through his mouthful of booze.
"About…'bout…" Xander's brow furrowed. "Don't like math. Five years ago. I think." He started ticking off years on his fingers. "Before Buffy. I bet Buffy woulda been…good."
Giles growled at Xander. "Don't think ‘bout my Slayer like that. She was a nice, upstanding girl."
"And my Willow isn't?" Xander pushed off his barstool and stood, grabbing the counter for support at the last minute. "My Willow is the sweetest, nicest…"
"Sleepin' with Percy-est," Giles noted, shaking his finger at Xander. "Buffy never would have slept with Percy."
"I think…" Oz paused and gathered his thoughts. "Buffy slept with Parker," he nodded. "At least Percy's got some class, Parker was just…"
"And where were you, her friends, to protect her from him?" Giles stood up as well, staggering back slightly. "You were too busy shagging *my* Willow."
"Hey," Xander protested. "You can't have ‘em both. You can't have her be *my* Buffy and *my* Willow. That's just not right."
Giles paused and considered. "Right. Buffy was mine. Now Willow is. There, not both. Not at the same time."
"I'm actually nobody's Willow."
"Shit." Xander started giggling uncontrollably. "Willow's here. She's gonna get mad at us. I'll betcha."
"No," she shook her head and sat down in the seat Xander had vacated. "She's going to have a drink right along with you."
Xander looked at her, concern in his eyes. He held up the bottle and tilted it over a glass. "Say when."
Willow shook her head. "When." She grabbed the bottle before Xander could pour anything and got up, carrying it over to the sofa.
"Shouldn't drink alone," Xander called after her.
"You guys are in the same room. You guys are drinking." She smiled at him, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm not alone." She turned her gaze to Giles, her eyes sad. She could see the knowledge of what had happened in his eyes. "Well, at least not tonight."
He watched her sit down and raise the bottle to her lips before turning back to Xander and Oz. Leaning in, he waved them both closer and whispered. "What do I do?"
Xander watched Willow for a long moment. "I think…I think, if you go over there, you'd better not say much of anything. I think saying Percy's name right now would probably get you killed. So, if you're gonna go be with her, I'd keep your mouth shut." He giggled. "Unless you're drinkin'."
Giles nodded. "Right. Mouth shut." He slid off his stool and walked over to Willow. Sinking down on the opposite end of the couch, he smiled tentatively. "Hi."
She nodded, taking a long drink. "I've decided to join you guys in oblivion for the night, so I'd appreciate it if you stay away from the long words or anything that might require me to think."
He considered it for a minute then nodded. "I was actually…"
"Long word."
"I was…" He grinned and held his arms open. "Come here."
Willow caught the sob before it escaped. She got up and moved over to his side, settling down in his arms. "You're not mad?"
"Not tonight. Tonight, we get sloshed. Tomorrow we can deal with the world." He took the bottle from her and drank, trying not to think of Percy and that he had held her not that long ago. "Although tomorrow is rather a long word."
Willow turned her head and looked at him, touching his cheek with light fingers. "Rupert?"
He smiled and bent his head, kissing her softly. When he pulled away, he closed his eyes, "Drink, Willow. You'll feel worse in the morning."
She nodded, turning away from him and taking another drink. Giles closed his eyes, wondering how much alcohol it would take to get the image of her and Percy together out of his head.
***
The doorbell permeated the hazy fog of sleep and drunkenness, prying Xander up off the floor where he'd finally fallen asleep. Stumbling to his feet, he staggered to the door, opening it and blinking rapidly in the shaft of sunlight that bathed his face. "Gaaaah. That's twice in a row."
"Is she here?"
Xander blinked again, trying to focus. "Percy?"
"Who the hell do you think it is, Xander?" Percy leaned closer. "How much did you drink?"
"Enough to put my parents to shame," He grinned maniacally, despite the anger radiating off his guest in waves. "What can I do for ya?"
"Is she here?"
"She being Willow?"
"Who the hell else do you think I mean?" He pushed past Xander and strode into the living room. Oz was lying on the kitchen counter, passed out. The imprint of where Xander had lain was outlined with bottles, all empty. "Where is she, Xan?"
Xander followed Percy. "Last time I looked, which was about…" he squinted at the clock then gave up, "a bunch of hours ago, she was on the couch, cruising toward shitfaced."
"Where is he?" This time the words were bitten out with venom behind them. "Where is Giles?"
"I don't know," Xander stated. His eyes narrowed as he watched the former basketball star storm into his living room. "But I do know that I don't like your attitude."
The next thing Xander knew, his shirt was clutched in one of Percy's fists and the other was hovering far too close to his face. "I don't care what you like, Harris. I'm marrying her, whether you all like it or not. And no old man is going to stop me. But so help me God, if she's fucked him, I will…"
"Percy."
Willow's voice stopped his rant. He looked over at her, noting that she was still wearing her clothes from the previous night and they looked as though they'd been slept in. "Willow."
She shook her head, "Don't. Let's go."
"Where?"
"Back to my house." She walked toward him, stopping only when Giles caught her arm. "Don't Giles," she stated firmly without looking at him. "Not right now."
"When?" He asked dangerously. "Much later and it will be too late."
She glanced back over her shoulder, her eyes filled with regret. "It's already too late." Moving forward, she took Percy's hand and guided him out the door, shutting it softly behind them.
***
"What the fuck just happened?" Giles snapped. He grabbed his jacket and followed Willow and Percy out of the house, stalking up to the younger man's car. He was holding the door open for Willow, allowing her to get in first. Giles grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and tossed him to the ground. Glaring at him, Ripper in full effect, he stepped on the younger man's chest. "I don't care where you go, just go away."
"I…"
"Shut up. I need to talk to Willow and I'm not going to do that if you're around. So go the fuck away. Now." He removed his foot and turned back to Willow, who was sitting in the car, shaking. He knelt down beside the open door and placed his hand gently on her knee. "I can't accept that, Willow. I k now that we've gone about this all the wrong way, but I think we need to talk. Please talk to me?"
She looked at him for a long moment with tears in her eyes before turning her gaze to Percy. He was glaring at Giles, but unwilling to move any closer. "Percy?"
"Yeah?" He met her eyes.
"Will you wait here for me?"
"Are you coming back?"
She watched him, noting the sadness in his eyes. Maybe he did love her, in his own way. If he did, he deserved her honesty. "No."
He nodded, swallowing hard. "Did I mean anything, Willow? Or was I just a way for you to survive while he wasn't around?"
"You mean something," she admitted, climbing out of his car. "Just…just not the right things. Not anymore."
"I see." He laughed bitterly. "You win, old man."
"Stop calling me that," Giles warned softly.
"You let her go. You let her go and the minute she was trying to move on with her life you came back. And you win. How does that not suck?" Percy stepped closer to Giles, not caring about his threatening stance. "You hurt her. You left her alone and she still loves you. You don't deserve a second chance." He moved over to Willow and kissed the top of her head. "You know where I am, if you need me."
"I do."
"If you ever need me."
She looked up at him and nodded, sending the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you, Percy."
"Didn't have much choice, Will."
"You did. You just picked the right one."
***
The ride to Willow's apartment was filled with heavy silence. Giles sat in the passenger's seat, his eyes intent on her as she drove. Finally, she pulled into her driveway and shut off the car. "We go inside and we talk." She looked over at him. "Leaving Percy doesn't mean going to you."
"I know," he got out of the car and walked around to open her door for her. He offered her his hand, but she refused it, brushing past him to walk to the door. He followed her, wishing he knew what to say.
Willow locked the door behind him and gestured toward the living room. "I'm going to get some aspirin and something to drink. Do you want anything?"
"Thank you, yes."
She nodded and disappeared for a few moments, returning with a tray of sodas and medicine bottles. "Pick your poison." She sat at the edge of the couch, on the opposite end from him.
Giles sighed and took a drink. "Where should we begin?"
"I don't know," she shrugged and laughed. "I feel like something that was wonderful and amazing has just crumbled to dust in the light of examination." She paused. "You said you loved me when I was in New York. Did you mean it?"
"With all my heart."
"Then why didn't you come?"
"I was scared. I was afraid that you were just fulfilling a fantasy from high school or something less meaningful than even that. I was worried that you would get back to the real world and realize you needed someone else your own age." He shrugged. "An apparently not completely unfounded fear."
"Percy happened after…after I called and…"
He nodded. "It's not what you think, you know."
"Then tell me what it is?" She didn't look at him; afraid she wouldn't be able to hear the truth if she got lost in his eyes.
"She was an old friend. She was helping me, running the bookstore while I was sick in bed. Seems I caught the flu while gallivanting around in the rain with some exotic vixen. She'd come into town for a meeting of booksellers who specialize in arcane texts. When I wasn't there, she got worried and came by. I'd stumbled to the door to answer it and she'd sent me to bed. I was about halfway there when the phone rang."
He paused, waiting for her to say something. She sat across from him, looking down at her hands, playing with the engagement ring still on her finger.
"Willow?"
"You must hate me."
"What?"
She looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks unchecked. "I accused you of all these horrible things, none of which were true and then I went and did even worse. I was the one who betrayed us, wasn't I?" She stood up and started pacing, sobbing as she struggled for breath. "I slept with someone else, simply because I was hurt and angry with you. I thought…I thought…"
Giles stood and gathered her into his arms, holding her tightly to him. "Shhh. Hush, little one." His hand moved to her hair, stroking it in an effort to calm her. "Don't cry. If I hadn't been so much a coward, none of this would have happened. We both made mistakes, Willow. What's important is finding out if we can forgive them."
"How?" She looked up from his chest into his eyes. "How could you possibly forgive me for all the things I've said and all the things I've done? I cheated on you, Rupert and accused you of doing the same. I let…I let him take me to…"
"Willow." He stated her name firmly, stopping her. "Yesterday, what I did was wrong. I took advantage of how you feel for me and used it to try and entice you into bed with me. I wanted you so badly, hoping all the while that being with me would make you realize that you didn't love him. I lost my head in the process, falling in love with you again and again with every touch. But I knew I was doing the wrong thing and going about it the wrong way."
"That's no excuse."
"No. But then, neither is this."
"What?" She raised her head and smiled as his mouth captured hers, trapping the word between them. His tongue traced the seam of her lips, parting them before diving into her welcoming mouth. His tongue traced along the edge of her teeth before tangling with hers as his arms wrapped around her.
The feel of her body in his arms again sent every thought of talking out of his mind. Giles picked her up, carrying her toward the bedroom. He broke off the kiss and stopped in the doorway. "I can't seem to stop doing that whenever we're alone."
"It's a good habit to have, I think." He lowered her to her feet and stepped back.
"We have a million things to resolve before this would even come close to being a good idea."
She nodded sagely. "We do. But I'd also like to think that we don't have to solve everything right now because we'll have at least a little time after."
"If we do this now, do you think we'll get to the things that need to be resolved?"
She bit her lower lip, still sore from where they'd split the skin. Closing her eyes, she thought about if for a moment before reaching out and placing her hand lightly against his erection. She then met his eyes. "Do you love me?"
He nodded, his body straining forward into her warm touch. "Far more than I have a right to." He watched her worry the skin of her lip and felt a niggling of dread. "Do you love me?"
"More than you deserve." She smiled widely. "You think we love each other enough to believe any promises we might make to talk things through?" Her hand started moving, stroking him through the material of his slacks. She watched him closely, needing to know she affected him. Needing to be sure that he meant every word this time, that he wouldn't hurt her again.
Her hand was hot as it found the zipper, sliding it down quietly in the stillness of the room. He swallowed, struggling to find his voice. This was what he wanted. This woman, this life. It's what he had wanted for…well, forever. This was normalcy and Hellmouth all rolled into one relationship. This was Willow. And he loved her. "I love you, and if that's the last of this conversation, I'll feel as if everything that needed to be said had been."
She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she stared up at him, her hand slipping inside his unfastened trousers. "Does that mean that we can skip the rationalization and discussion about why we should go to bed and simply do it?"
"Bed?" he grinned. "I was thinking I'd just take you in the doorway."
"I'd like to see you try." Her hand snuck past the waistband of his boxers, taking a firm grip on his erection. "If you're up to it?"
He growled low in his throat, wrapping his hands around her waist. "Do I feel up to it?" She contemplated it for a second, before shrieking as his hands curled under her bottom and lifted her up. He pulled her hard against him then pushed her up against the doorframe. He thrust forward, letting her feel him once more. "Do I?"
"Well, I hate to form an uneducated opinion. Maybe I could do a little more research?" She bit her lip, smiling all the while. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms looping across his shoulders. Moving her hips, she ground down lightly. "To be sure."
Giles leaned forward and wrapped his teeth around the top button of her blouse. With a quick pull, he snapped it free of the thread, exposing her throat. "Of course." He started in again, his mouth intent on the next obstacle in his path. Willow straightened, sticking out her chest, allowing him an easier angle. He quirked an eyebrow. "Not a favorite blouse, I take it?"
"I can sew on a button. Stop talking." She moved her hands to his neck and pressed forward, guiding him back to the small fastener between her breasts.
He grinned hungrily and closed his lips over it, undoing another one in the same fashion. The material of her shirt fell open when he removed it, allowing him a glimpse of the creamy skin of her chest. He buried his head in the valley between her breasts, his teeth easily unhooking the front clasp of her bra as well.
Willow wiggled slightly, forcing Giles to lower her to the ground. Her hands went back to his waist, completely unfastening his belt and pants, pushing them to the floor along with his boxers. Surveying him, she shook her head. "Too many clothes." She tugged at his sweater, getting him to raise his arms so that she could pull it off of him. Tossing it to the side, she looked again. His body was exactly as she remembered it, firm and lean, tight and rough with hair. Her eyes traveled down his chest to his stomach and then to his cock.
Giles basked in her scrutiny, enjoying the feel of her eyes on him. She tilted her head, gazing at his erection. "Something wrong, love?"
"I was just wondering how it's going to feel standing up."
He growled playfully and leaned forward, grabbing her shirt and pulling her toward him. "Get out of these clothes and we'll find out."
She shucked off her ruined shirt and then shimmied out of her jeans and panties. Standing naked in front of him, she stepped closer. "Show me?"
"Glad to." He reached for her, pulling her close. His cock rubbed her stomach, throbbing more intensely at the touch of her skin. Willow wrapped her hand around it, stroking softly as he kissed her, licking the inside of her mouth, tasting her.
She stroked the smooth flesh, reveling in the contours of it, losing herself in his kiss. She closed her eyes, surrendering to him just as his hand stilled hers. He took it from his cock and moved it up to his shoulder. Repeating the gesture with her other hand, he leaned back against the doorframe. She broke the kiss, watching him as his movement brought her body along the length of his. "Giles?"
He shook his head, grabbing her hips and urging her to straddle him. She did as he implied, shivering as the rough hairs of his legs brushed the tender inner flesh of her thighs. Sliding his hands around her, Giles cupped her bottom in his hands and pulled her toward him so that the soft mound of curls was pressed to the underside of his cock.
Willow's feet dangled off the floor and she giggled softly. "You okay?"
"Not yet," he breathed. He dug his fingers into the soft skin of her behind and she raised herself up as well as she could. He lifted her, the strain showing in his eyes, then guided her warm wetness down onto his cock. The strain was replaced by bliss as she surrounded him, welcoming him. "Now, I would say more than okay."
She pushed her hips forward, adjusting to the feel of him. "Sex in a doorway?"
"This isn't sex, Willow. This is a prelude." He took a deep breath.
"When…" she stopped as he stood straight, forcing her back against the other side of the door, sliding his cock even deeper. "Oh. Now."
"Now," he agreed. He held her hips, keeping them from hitting the wood frame as he pushed inside her, thrusting hard and fast, the months of waiting and longing, dreaming and denying himself all coming to the surface as she tightened around him, squeezing his cock with her muscles, clamping her thighs tight around his. He bit the inside of his lip, breathing hard through his nose, as he felt the tightening become almost too intense. He didn't want this to be over quite so soon.
Willow was mindless. Her head thrashing back and forth as he impaled her, penetrating her to her very core with every stroke. She had dreamed of this in the months they had been apart, wishing every night that Percy touched her that it could be this full of emotion and need, love and surrender.
She shivered in his grasp and Giles let loose a soft moan. Holding her tightly to him, not wanting to lose the feel of her surrounding him, he walked over to the bed, laying her down gently on it. It was raised, a four poster so that standing, he could easily continue to move inside her.
Willow grabbed one of the posts, holding onto it as Giles thrust forward, imbedding himself within her. She cried out, tightening her thighs around him, her heels digging into the back of his legs, urging him forward, harder and faster.
Gasping for breath, his hands digging into her hips, Giles followed her body's guides, increasing his speed until they were both lost in a frenzy of movement and passion, no coherent thought or emotion tangible, simply bodies in motion, searching for release, driving each other to the edge of ecstasy, but never quite far enough.
Willow released the post, grabbing Giles shoulders and pulling his chest against hers. He continued thrusting, more shallowly now, as her teeth nipped his lower lip. "I love you," she moaned, pleasure coursing through her veins as he shuddered in her arms, his orgasm shooting into her. Fingernails digging into his skin, she ground down against him, rubbing her clit against the base of his cock until her body could stand no more of the delicious torture, and she joined him in oblivion.
***
He moved away from her, easing slowly from the hold her body had on his. She pouted beautifully, expressing her displeasure with his departure. "I'm not finished, if that's what you're worried about."
She smiled with her eyes, although her pout remained. Giles simply shook his head and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her around the side of the bed and planting her on it more comfortably. He lay down beside her, lying on his side, his head propped up on one hand.
He gazed down at her, his emotions shining in his eyes. Willow smiled, touching his lips with delicate fingers, feeling his words as he spoke. "Tell me, why married?"
Her fingers fell from his mouth and she looked away. "I wanted to be as far from you as I could get."
"So, you don't really want to get married?"
She looked back, slightly surprised. "What are our other options?" The surprise faded to a teasing grin. "Living in sin?"
"Well, I was thinking we wouldn't actually have to live there. Maybe just a place for the weekends…" he smiled. "But if you insist…"
"What about New York? It's a long way from Sunnydale."
"Yes it is."
She shook her head. "Well?"
He moved over her, making his way between her thighs. "We'll figure it out. In a moment."
"Why in a moment?"
He thrust inside her, shocking and delighting her all at once. "Because, love, we're going to be busy until then."