CHAPTER 11

She eventually opened her eyes when the car was on the open road and he had dropped the speed a little. "Where did you learn to drive like that?" she asked as she licked her dry lips.

"Well during my misspent youth it was sometimes necessary to er.." he stopped, unsure of the best way of putting this.

"Leave the scene of a crime? Make a swift getaway? Outrun the police?" Willow supplied, rather enjoying his discomfort.

"Well not exactly but sort of" he conceded. "Anyway I used to have one of these beauties and I found out she could do the most amazing things if you treated her properly".

"She's not the only one" Willow murmured and ran her hand up his left thigh. She rather enjoyed the novelty of being in a right hand drive car!

The car slowed appreciably as he realised he couldn't ensure their safety if she continued to run her nails over his jeans. "Willow please!" he begged. "We'll be home in a minute"

She sighed and folded her arms over her chest. "I hope you mean your place and not my parent's house or the dorm" she said with a threatening tone. "I'm getting a bit fed up with the noble gentleman thing you've been pulling recently" she said, making sure he understood exactly what she wanted.

He smiled at her and her insides melted. "I think I'm getting a little old to find it exciting to make love to a girl on her parent's bed" he continued to grin.

"Too old to want to have wild sex in a sports car?" she asked running her hands through her hair as the wind blew it across her face.

His only response was to put his foot down again and the car leapt forward with an impatient growl, at least she thought it was the car.

He parked in a tight space without appreciably lessening their speed and she sighed over the control he exercised with consummate ease. God, she really wanted him and not all of the demons in all of the dimensions were going to interrupt tonight and tomorrow she promised herself. Then she chuckled a little, perhaps she was being a bit ambitious hoping for tonight and tomorrow?

He climbed out of his side of the car and slowly walked round to open her door for her. She found it a bit of a struggle to elegantly exit a car so near to the ground but, with his help, she managed to keep some dignity intact.

He kept hold of her hand and kissed it gently as she swung the car door closed behind her.

"What did I say about the noble-ness" she growled and pulled him down into a deep kiss.

She could feel him smiling as she kissed him and, when she eventually pulled back she could tell by the look in his eyes that he understood what she needed.

She was even more convinced when he reached down, swung her into his arms and carried her towards his apartment. The gesture was somewhat ruined, however, when he couldn't find his keys and had to lower her to the ground to pat down every pocket before finding them in the last one. She had tried helping in the search but frisking the back pockets of his jeans didn't seem to make it any easier for him to open the door. Eventually they were inside and he closed the door behind him, locking and bolting it.

She raised an eyebrow and he smiled at her. "None of you ever knock and I'm not keen on being a spectator sport" he explained.

She moved towards the kitchen, more out of habit than anything else, before kicking her shoes off and leaving her bag on the counter. Inexplicably she suddenly seemed unsure of how to continue what she had started.

He noticed the change in her mood and headed for the stereo. He put on some quiet, background music and opened a bottle of wine. "Would you like a drink?" he asked.

"Mmm yes please" she nodded, eager to have something take her mind off the strange feeling which had overcome her when they had entered the apartment.

"Is everything OK?" he asked, confused by her sudden change but also concerned at the worried look on her face.

"I'm fine" she said and sipped her wine. She looked down at her blouse and made a face. "Could I borrow another t-shirt?" she asked. "This took the brunt of the liquid celebrations at the Bronze"

"Of course" he nodded and headed upstairs. "I'm afraid I'm all out of clean t-shirts" he shouted a moment later. "Would a regular shirt do?"

"Sure" she shouted and suddenly gulped down the remainder of her wine.

She was muttering to herself when he came back down and handed her a white shirt. "You can clean up in the bathroom if you want while I get you another wine?"

She nodded and left with the shirt. "Did you have any dinner before we went out?" he shouted from the kitchen. "I could make you something if you wanted"

"No, I'm fine thanks" she replied while sitting on the closed toilet lid with the shirt in her hands. What the hell was wrong with her she wondered? One minute she couldn't keep her hands off him, wanted to do obscene things to him in a sports car for Pete's sake, the next it was like being back at school and having a crush on one of the teachers. She stood up abruptly and stared at herself in the mirror. Had she really changed that much in six years that he now recognised a woman in someone he'd only known as a girl. She washed her face to get rid of the smudged make up then replaced her soiled blouse with his shirt. She could smell his scent on the material and took a deep, calming breath. She had started to slowly rub her hands up and down the arms of the shirt and smile at herself in the mirror when a knock on the bathroom door startled her.

"Are you OK?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine, I'll be out in a minute" she said quickly, trying to do something with her hair that made it look less like she had just spent ten minutes in an open topped sports car.

"Willow, you know that whatever we choose to do or not to do is entirely up to you?" he said quietly through the door.

"What?" she asked, not sure she had heard him correctly.

"I mean if you're a little nervous about us, or you've changed your mind, you only have to say the word and I'll sleep on the sofa" She could hear him sighing as he leaned on the door. "I would never push you into anything you didn't feel comfortable with, you know that"

She leaned against her side of the door. "I think that's part of the problem" she said, deciding this was slightly easier than explaining face to face.

"If you think I've been pressuring you I can.." he didn't get to finish the sentence.

No, I mean I think this place is too comfortable for me" she tried to find the words to explain to him. "I can't explain it but I'm more nervous of making love to you here than I ever would be in my parent's house or the dorm" She unlocked the door and gently pulled it open.

He was leaning against the doorjamb, looking a little confused. "If it's because of Jenny and Olivia you shouldn't think that…" he began but she put her finger against his lips.

"It's not that, but hey, let's mention your previous girlfriends as often as possible when we're alone here together!" she prodded his chest with one finger as she smiled up at him. "It's just that this place, your place, is more like a home to me than anywhere else. It's my safe haven and I don't want anything to destroy that" she looked into his eyes, hoping her meaning shone through where words failed her.

He looked immensely relieved. "I understand" he smiled and hugged her. "If you really feel uncomfortable we can simply relax tonight, after all it's not against the law to just have a quiet night in" He tangled his fingers through her hair then reminded himself that he was supposed to be offering a platonic relationship tonight and he had better stop the thoughts racing through his head if he wanted to match actions to words.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled as she leaned into his chest. "After six months of wanting this would you believe that I just need a little time to get used to the idea?"

"You have nothing to apologise for and I'd rather you were 100% sure before we did anything" he whispered and gently led her back to the sofa. "Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

She looked a little embarrassed. "Well actually I would kill for one of your pizzas"

He grinned at her and asked her to pour him a scotch as he headed for the kitchen. She brought his scotch over to the counter and sat on a stool, enjoying watching him work. She sipped her own wine, realising that she should slow down until she had something to eat, unless she wanted to end this evening in a drunken stupor.

He put a pizza crust in the oven to heat and rooted about in the fridge as he asked "Toppings?"

"Tuna, pepperoni, sweetcorn, chillies and anchovies" she decided and he turned a little skeptically to face her.

"You'll be having five pizzas in that case, I'm not putting all of them together on one until you're pregnant!"

She raised her eyebrows and looked a little shocked. "Whoa.. where did that come from?" she asked.

He shut the fridge door and moved round to join her. "I'm sorry, that was an incredibly stupid, insensitive, ignorant, pompous, arrogant, did I mention stupid? thing to say"

"Keep going" she said. "There are a few more adjectives you could have used"

He threw down the kitchen towel he had draped over his shoulder. "Oh bloody hell!" he shouted and proceeded to bang his head against the pillar. After a few shots he turned to look at her as he continued to, gently, bang his head. "Aren't you going to stop me from further head trauma?" he asked.

"I'm waiting to be sure you'll forget the pregnant thing" she smiled and moved over to him. She wedged herself between his body and the pillar.

"What pregnant thing?" he asked, effecting a completely bewildered look of incomprehension.

"That's better" she smiled and drew his lips down to hers for a long, sensual kiss. She could taste the scotch on his lips and tongue as she explored his mouth. His tongue mounted a raiding party of it's own and they stayed, locked together, jousting for territory until the cooker timer beeped to tell them the pizza crust was ready.

"Are you still hungry?" he asked a little huskily.

She felt her smile building from one corner of her mouth as she imagined all of the things she was going to do to this man over the next twenty-four hours. By the time she got through the fifth hour she knew her grin had taken on a slightly feral quality that he obviously recognised. He kissed her quickly, as if to taste her smile and moved to the kitchen to switch the stove off. Taking her hand he led her up the stairs.

He moved to the bedside table to put his glasses down and when he turned, gazed in appreciation as he saw her unbutton the shirt and let it fall to the ground. Next she unzipped her skirt and let it slide off her hips to join the steadily growing heap of clothes at her feet. Her bra was next, followed by the rest of her underwear, until she was standing completely naked in front of him.

The uncertainty of earlier had left her as she realised it wasn't the place but the person who made her feel at home and safe. She had kissed him in various locations over the last few days and each time she felt like she was coming home. She had watched his strong hands as he drove the car and worked in the kitchen and knew that she wanted them to touch her, control her movements, now!

She stepped out of the bundle of clothing and moved towards him slowly. "Yet again you seem to be wearing more clothes than me. Why is that do we think?"

His brain had decided it had better things to do with his blood than waste it on thinking, standing or talking so he sat down on the bed and started to fumble with his own shirt buttons in answer to her question.

She placed her hands over his and moved them round to her buttocks before moving back to finish the unbuttoning.

He was now at the perfect height to stare at her breasts. He decided that staring was good, very good, but tasting would be better and leaned forward slightly to kiss and lick her nipples while caressing her behind and lower back. He could hear her breathing quicken and smiled to himself, at least he wasn't the only one to notice the sudden lack of oxygen in the room.

She pulled away from him to remove his sweater and undershirt then knelt down in front of him to undo his belt buckle and trousers. Realising how quickly he was reaching the point of no return he decided to speed the process up a little and stood up to remove his own trousers and underwear while kicking his shoes and socks off.

She noticed the dark bruise on his left foot and, as they lay down on the bed together, she headed in that direction. He lay absolutely still, not sure where she was going and trying to gather his rapidly fleeing control to stop from embarrassing himself. "Oh dear lord" he murmured as she bypassed his groin and headed for his feet. He hadn't been this aroused in a long time and wasn't sure how long he could keep the foreplay going before he would need some kind of release.

Willow gently kissed round the edges of the large bruise on the instep of his left foot. She heard his breath catch and raised her head to look up at him. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" she asked quietly.

"Ehm, no" he mumbled, trying to get his brain in gear. "It's just that, unless you're a foot fetishist and are really getting off on that, perhaps you could come up here and kiss my lips?" he finished in a rush and smiled a little apologetically.

She gently put his foot down and scrunched back up the bed, careful not to make contact with his body, until she lay on her side next to him. He also turned onto his side and rested his head on his hand. They lay staring at each other for several seconds until Willow's eyes started a tour of his body. He could feel himself blush slightly at the frank appraisal but took the opportunity to familiarise himself with her body.

She reached out with her right arm and gently ran her fingers down his left side. She let her hand rest on his hip and looked a little uncertainly into his eyes again. He reached out his left hand and gently stroked some hair from her brow then ran his fingers down her cheek and over her lips. She darted her tongue out to taste his fingers and he smiled. She moved her hand from his hip to trace the crinkle of laughter lines round his eyes.

He could see her leaning in towards him but she seemed to take an eternity to reach his lips. He felt as if everything was moving in slow motion as he tasted her lips and then her tongue as she deepened the kiss still further. He closed his eyes and let the sensations wash over his entire body. She tasted quite sweet and he could smell her hair. Thanking god that, this time, it didn't lead to any memories of kissing another woman, he finally allowed himself to melt into her arms in complete surrender. He hadn't consciously held himself back but he felt the tension leave his body to be replaced by an entirely more appropriate tension. His mind wondered to previous occasions when he had dreamed of this moment with this woman. He pictured the times in the high school library when he had been deeply ashamed of lusting after a high school student who was also a friend. He expected those feelings to dissipate when they went off to college and was surprised when they had increased over the intervening years.

He groaned at the effect that these memories were having on his body and gently rolled from his position on his side to rest above her. His movement made her roll onto her back and she used both of her hands to gently trace her nails down his sides. Ensuring their lips were still in contact he balanced himself precariously on his right arm and reached out with his left to the bedside table. After sensing him fumbling around she finally broke the kiss and looked questioningly at him. He shook his head and picked his glasses up to search in the drawer. Finally a small sigh escaped his lips and he took his glasses off again.

She glanced round and saw him leave a small pile of condoms on the bedside table, this time within easy reach. "You're being a bit ambitious?" she whispered and laughed when he looked down at her, unsure of what she meant. "I've only ever seen them in packs of three before and never all used on the same night"

He raised his eyebrows and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Now who's boasting about previous conquests?" He laughed as she at least had the grace to blush to a deep scarlet colour. He noticed, in a detached kind of way, that the blush he had seen many times in the past continued below the line of her collarbone and her breasts turned an intriguing colour of pink as well. He would remember that for future reference!

She was a little embarrassed but secretly pleased that she had found a way to let him know she wasn't a virgin. She had been worrying that he would be disappointed when they finally reached this point but couldn't find an opportune moment to let him know. "Giles would you like a coffee and by the way I'm not a virgin!" just didn't seem appropriate somehow.

He saw the smile on her face and wondered what she was thinking about. Then he wondered who she was thinking about and decided that this train of thought was definitely counter productive and leaned in to kiss her again.

She squirmed under him a little, moving her left leg until the inside of her thigh rubbed the outside of his right thigh. She could feel him draw in a deep breath while he continued to kiss her and felt her own heart start to beat like the entire percussion section of an orchestra on a good night.

She was so involved in the sensations popping up all over her body, wherever her skin met his, that she barely noticed him leaning over and opening one of the small packets. He pulled back from their kiss and knelt up a little, using the new position to kiss her nipples and gently suck them both to painfully hard peaks. Her eyes were squeezed tight shut as she went into sensory overload.

She was barely aware of him leaning back down to kiss her mouth quickly before he gently whispered in her ear "I love you Willow Rosenberg"

Her floaty, dreamy, semi aware state came to an abrupt end when he lifted his right leg over her left one and gently raised her hips just enough to push the tip of his erection into her. Her eyes shot open and an explosive breath escaped. "Wait" she said frantically.

"Dear God no" he managed to grate out from between his clenched teeth. "Willow, what's wrong" he asked when he managed to gather his wits enough to realise what was happening.

"You haven't used, I mean we haven't put the.." she seemed genuinely frightened and he leaned down to kiss her again.

"My love, I did, I promise" he said, realising that she hadn't been aware of his actions. Her brow unfurrowed a little and she started to blush again. "Willow, I swear I will never do anything to hurt you ever again"

Tears started to form at the outside edge of each eye and he pulled back a little and looked completely confused. "Willow, if this isn't what you want please tell me"

She shook her head, causing the tears to run from her eyes down the side of her cheeks but she was smiling. "Rupert, please, I need you" she said and kissed him.

He hadn't realised that the use of his first name would have such an effect on him and he forcefully kissed her and lowered his hips slowly to allow the full length of his erection to enter her. As she shuddered gently, causing her pelvic muscles to contract around him, he pulled away from her lips and rested his forehead on hers. "OK, I don't think this is going to be a marathon" he whispered.

"Good" she whispered back. "I was always better at the short sprints" with this she pushed her hips up to meet his and ran her nails up and down his sides again.

For a couple of minutes he tried to be gentle and to fulfill one of the sweetest fantasies of his life but all romantic thoughts were pushed from his mind as she pulled him down to kiss her neck and whispered “Fuck me” in his ear. All thoughts of savouring the moment fled and he began to pump into her until he could feel the tingling beginning in his lower back. The only thought remaining in his mind was that he wouldn't go without her and he reached down to squeeze her already bullet hard nipples.

She had lost all sense of who and where she was as her mind concentrated on the incredible sensations emanating from the joining of their bodies. She could feel the rough hair of his groin rubbing against her with every thrust and scrunched down a little to alter her position, ensuring that she felt it against her clitoris. She felt him tighten his thighs and knew that he was near. Her brain finally registered the work of his hands on her breasts when the hot-wired connection to her clitoris finally kicked in and she knew that they were going to come together. “Nearly there” she managed to get out between gritted teeth and was rewarded by his deepest thrust yet. All that she could manage was a slightly muffled scream as she came and buried her head in his shoulder.

He was vaguely aware of her tensing underneath him as he gave one final thrust and held onto her shaking body. As they both began to recover he gently caressed her and murmured her name, kissing her eyes and nose. When he had recovered enough breath and was fairly sure he wasn't having a heart attack, he rolled over onto his side and gently reached out to touch her stomach. "Bloody hell" he said quietly.

She squirmed gently and hissed as his fingers traced patterns across muscles still contracting in the aftermath of an awesome orgasm. "I'll see your bloody hell and raise you a woo-hoo" she giggled breathlessly. When she had regained some strength she also turned on her side and looked wonderingly into his eyes. She noticed his face was still a little flushed and reached out to tangle her fingers in the sweat dampened hair on his forehead.

He smiled at her and rolled over to the other side of the bed a little clumsily before heading for the bathroom. While he was gone she stood up and pulled down the quilt they had been lying on top of. Snuggling underneath she realised that she was cold and shouted for him to hurry up. He moved quickly back from the bathroom and smiled as her face peeked out over the top of the duvet. She pulled back the duvet from his side and he climbed under with her, holding her in his arms for several minutes before gently nibbling on her ear. "You know, if you're going to entice older men with your womanly wiles you should know better than to say 'wait' at that precise moment"

She squirmed a little in his grasp, both from embarrassment and from the feel of his breath on her neck and shoulder. "Will you ever forgive me?" she asked and turned her head to look at him. "It was all that talk of me getting pregnant earlier!" she said and glared at him. "Also" she said and turned fully in his arms to face him. "You were distracting me and I didn't notice you.. well .. you know" she finished and buried her face in his chest to hide her embarrassment.

"Willow" he laughed and lifted her chin so he could look at her. "We have just had pretty good, hot, sweaty, noisy sex and I think you should be able to say the word condom in front of me by now!"

"What do you mean 'pretty good'?" she asked with a pout. "That was amazing for me?" she ended on a note of uncertainty and he winced as he saw her insecurities rise to the surface again.

"I meant" he said, leaning over to kiss her eyelids and nose. "It was a good start but we will get better with practice"

"Practice is good" she murmured as he continued to kiss her, moving down her jawline to her neck.

He was about to move from her neck to her shoulder when her stomach grumbled and growled in an alarming manner. He rested his head on her shoulder and started to laugh. After a few seconds of mortification she joined in and they ended up having to wipe the tears from their eyes with the quilt cover.

"Come on" he finally managed to gather himself together. "Let's get you that pizza"

 

CHAPTER 12

He had finally agreed to make her a pepperoni pizza and she had snuggled on the sofa under a throw while he finished the preparations in the kitchen. She had started to relax to the point of sleep when he came back with a plate of pizza and some salad.

He snuggled under the throw with her and fed her a slice of pizza. "You've got to keep your strength up" he said with mock seriousness.

"Yes mom" she mumbled around the hot pizza. After four slices she put her hand over her mouth and finished chewing before she managed to speak. "Enough" she said and reached over for her juice. "You should eat some too" she said and pulled the salad plate nearer to her so she could nibble while he finished the pizza.

When he lifted both plates to take them back to the kitchen he sighed in dismay. "What?" she asked him.

"You are having a deleterious effect on my wardrobe young lady. We will have to go out and get you some clothes from the dorm tomorrow" he tutted as he gently mopped up some pizza sauce from the front of the white shirt she had put on to come downstairs.

She stood up and followed him into the kitchen, unbuttoning the shirt. "If we wash this tonight it will be clean for tomorrow and we won't have to leave the house" He turned from the sink to see her standing naked, again, and holding the scrunched up shirt out to him.

He leaned back and folded his arms, shaking his head. "I have plans for tomorrow and they include taking you out" he said, moving to hold her in his arms. "For which you should really be wearing clothes" he mumbled into her hair. After a moment she pulled back and looked up into his face. "Preferably your own clothes" he added as an afterthought.

"What plans?" she asked as she headed back towards the stairs.

"You'll find out in the morning" he said putting out the light in the kitchen as he followed her.

As Willow snuggled back under the duvet she yawned. "I'm sorry" she said sleepily as he put his arms round her and pulled her closer.

"What for now?" he asked, kissing her forehead.

"I wanted our first time to be special but I made a bit of a mess of it didn't I?" she said in a small voice.

"Darling, how could tonight be anything but perfect when it ends with you in my arms?" he asked gently. She held on to him a little tighter. "You worry too much and put too much pressure on yourself when you should just be enjoying life and not analysing everything"

"Talking about analysing stuff" she said as if she had just remembered something. "When you said that cute thing about the Scooby Gang yesterday you got it the wrong way round"

He pulled back from her and she turned to face him. "What are you talking about?" he asked with a quizzical smile.

"You said" she began, wakening up a little. "That you doubted that Fred and Daphne were celibate" she looked to him for confirmation and he nodded. "In the heat of the moment I forgot to tell you that I'm Velma!"

He now looked completely lost and shook his head, laughing. "I don't even understand the answer, never mind the reference"

She sighed and sat up slightly, her voice taking on lecture mode. "The Scooby Gang reference is to a blonde girl who's a bit ditzy but hangs out with the clever blonde guy" she nodded at him. "Then there's the dark haired, clever girl who figures out the mysteries every week and the scruffy guy who's obsessed with food.

He put his hands up. "OK, I'm with you so far"

"Soooo" she finished with a flourish. "Buffy is Daphne, you're Fred, Xander is Shaggy and I'm Velma"

"But, if I understood the thematic currents running through the episodes I watched in the name of research" he could barely keep a straight face. "It is Fred and Daphne who are paired off, while Shaggy appears to have an unhealthy attachment to a dog and Velma is above such attachments?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Wow you really got into it, didn't you?"

"Therefore" he continued in mock exasperation. "In our scenario you would have to be Daphne or we would have to take on the roles of Shaggy and Scooby which is more than I'm prepared to do, even for you"

She stared at him for a moment. "OK, I'm prepared to let you have some artistic license in this instance but don't ever mention this in front of Xander as he's very protective of his animated pop culture references!"

"Even the bloody 'cultural reference police' use unnecessary force in this colony" he pronounced and grabbed for her.

"In which case you are assaulting a police officer!" she laughed and slid backwards to avoid his arms.

"Well I may be sent down for life for what I'm about to do next" he laughed as he faked one way and caught her dodging the other. "Perhaps you should read me my rights" he said huskily as he slid his body on top of hers and held her hands above her head.

"Just remain silent and get on with it" she laughed and kissed him before he could reply.

He laughed as he returned the kiss with interest then made his way down her throat to her breasts. She was squirming underneath him in a most interesting way and he smiled to himself as he continued to hold her hands away from his body.

His lips and tongue were reeking havoc on her nervous system again and she felt the familiar tightening in the muscles of her abdomen. He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and she lifted her hips off the bed in an attempt to remind him where they were. Her hands were still held above her head and she was clenching and unclenching her fists in frustration at not being able to touch his body. She looked down at him as he sucked the other nipple to a hard peak and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to be with this man for the rest of her life. In that moment she couldn't envisage not loving him with every fibre of her being. A small part of her mind detached itself from the physical pleasure centers and concentrated on the deepening love she had for him. She knew now that the sense of loss she had experienced before she recognised her true feelings for him would be magnified a hundred times if they were ever apart again. Despite the workout her heart was getting at the moment, she doubted it could stand the strain of not being in love with him and she never again wanted to know what it was like not to be loved by him. While she was pondering on the strength of her feelings for him her body had taken it upon itself to show him exactly how she felt.

She suddenly stopped struggling and he looked up at her to see if she was OK. She gazed down at him with a look of sheer pleasure and desire on her face and felt his grip slacken as he looked deep into her eyes. When she felt his grip loosen enough she quickly brought her hands down and broke his grip on her wrists. With the element of surprise now on her side she pushed her hips to one side and rolled over, pushing him with her.

He had been dreamily thinking of which part of her body he would kiss next when he felt her relax her attempts to free her hands. He looked up to make sure he hadn't hurt her and gasped a little as he saw the raw sexual desire in her face. In that moment, he realised, for the first time, that the woman he was making love to was a completely different person from the young computer hacker he had lusted after. He had known her through all her years of growing up and becoming an adult but had never truly accepted the transformation until this precise moment. He wasn't an old man taking advantage of a young girl, as he had feared in the past. He knew with 100% certainty that she was a woman as separated from her younger self as he was from Ripper. Her constant ability to surprise him stemmed from this emergence from the cocoon of their time in Sunnydale High to the bright new world of the present.

He was still trying to come to terms with this blinding flash of clarity when he realised that he was on his back and being straddled by a gorgeous red head with mischief in her eyes.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you" he said in a surprised voice, as if it had just occurred to him that this was possible.

She was a little shocked that his statement mirrored her thoughts almost exactly. "Just you try and get rid of me!" she announced and bent down to kiss him. When she felt him start to wriggle underneath her she sat up again and pushed his hands away from her body. "This time we try it my way" she announced and grinned as she reached for a condom.

Her heart was beating like a bass drum as she fumbled with the packet. So much for the sophisticated sex kitten act, she thought ruefully as she desperately tried not to tremble as she rolled the condom onto him. She looked up to gauge his reaction when she had finished but his eyes were tightly shut and he was taking short, shallow breaths. She took this as a good sign and gently held the base of his erection as she raised her hips to just above it's tip. "Rupert" she said gently and waited for his eyes to open and focus on her. "I love you" she sighed as she gently lowered herself onto him.

His face softened briefly before his eyes scrunched up again and he got a look of extreme concentration on his face. "OK?" she gasped as she gently raised her hips before lowering herself again.

"Unghuu" he grunted as he placed his hands on her hips and held her steady for a moment. "Give me a second?" he asked breathily and she grinned as she stopped her movements but clenched the muscles in her abdomen. He hissed in a breath and closed his eyes again. When he opened them he was still a little unfocussed but grinned up at her "Do that again and I may have to punish you"

She simply raised her eyebrows and looked questioningly at him as she pushed down to grind her clitoris against his pelvic bone. "Detention?" she asked in a husky voice as she started to move up and down more quickly.

"Corporal punishment" he ground out through clenched teeth. He decided that she had had her own way long enough and began to pump his hips up to meet hers, taking away some of the rhythm she had built up and momentarily putting her off balance. As she put her hand on his chest to steady herself she took the opportunity to pinch his nipple and was rewarded with a muffled cry and increased speed from him. She grinned and centered her thoughts on the possibilities suggested by his allusion to punishment.

He knew that he was nearly at the edge of his orgasm and moved one hand from her hips, placing two of his fingers between his pelvis and her clitoris. Her movement abruptly stopped and she gasped his name as he rubbed his fingers from her clitoris to vagina and back again. "Now" he begged quietly as he felt her tense her inner muscles around him. He continued the movement of his hand and pushed his hips up to force his full length into her. He knew he was lost when she whimpered slightly and ground her hips even closer to him and he couldn't even gasp her name before his brain gave up all control and he lost himself in a mind blowing orgasm.

She had felt her own orgasm building slowly and was rubbing her nipples to help it along when she felt his hand between them and had to concentrate on remembering to breathe. She felt him push his hips hard and reach deep inside her just as the welcome tingliness started at the base of her spine. The next few seconds were awash with sensations, her skin suddenly blushing and the hairs on her arms standing up, her mouth becoming dry as she gasped for air, the urgent need to push down as he was pushing up into her. She was aware of his orgasm as he suddenly stopped moving beneath her seconds before her own robbed her of thought and the fireworks went off in her brain.

She was the first to recover and gently lifted herself off him, rolling to lie next to him on the bed. She gazed in wonder at his sweat-slicked body and tried to remember what he looked like in tweed.

She gently placed her palm on his chest and was rewarded with a small whimper and one eye opening. "I think you may have irrevocably damaged several lower vertebrae and at least one major muscle group" he managed to gasp before trying to raise a hand to his face. "I may never walk again" he sighed dramatically as he put his hand over his eyes.

"It's all right for you" she replied huskily. "I won't be able to sit down for a week!" and she started to laugh.

He laughed as well and, amid many groans and muffled curses, finally managed to get up from the bed and move towards the bathroom. She heard the shower switch on and waited a couple of minutes before standing at the door and asking if he needed any help. She could hear him laugh again. "I think I can manage but you're welcome to join me if you want" he suggested.

"You are insatiable" she laughed. "I'll wait till you're finished" she added as she moved to the sink to gaze in the mirror. She realised that she felt different but couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. She smiled at her reflection, and tried to recognise any changes from yesterday but she couldn't see anything in the features to explain it. The blush on her face slowly faded as she continued to stare at herself and she jumped a little when he came up behind her and kissed her shoulder.

"Sorry" he murmured as he continued to kiss her neck. "I didn't mean to startle you. Is anything wrong?" he asked as he noticed her serious look.

"No, I'm fine" she nodded and gave up her introspective mood. "Are you OK?" she smiled at him.

"I feel more alive than I have in years and it's all thanks to you" he kissed her gently. "You have no idea how happy you make me feel" he continued as he stroked her hair away from her face.

"The feeling is mutual kind sir" she replied and headed for the shower. "I think I'll have a quick shower then I really do need to get some sleep" she said to him as she stood under the warm jets. "I haven't slept properly for weeks and it's all your fault!" she announced.

"I must have a doppelganger who's been keeping you busy in that case because I would have remembered keeping you awake at night myself" he suggested and she heard him drying himself.

"I've been dreaming about a night like this" she laughed and concentrated on her shower before turning the water off. "Although I have to admit the real thing is better fun" he handed her a towel and watched as she dried herself. "Is this part of the Watcher training?" she asked as she noticed his frank appraisal of her body. "Because I don't ever remember Wesley doing this for any of us"

"He bloody well better not even have thought about it!" Giles laughed and turned to go into the bedroom. "Although I get the impression that he would have liked to try something similar with Cordelia but he didn't have the guts to even admit it to himself"

"Listen to 'Mr Grab the Bull by the Horns'?" she laughed as she followed him to the bedroom. "You were hardly a role model for him since it took several major head traumas, innumerable bouts of unconsciousness and losing six years worth of memories before you finally realised that I was your Cordelia?"

He yawned and cuddled into her. "But I keep telling you" he whispered in her ear. "It was worth the wait"

 

CHAPTER 13

Willow was the first to wake on Sunday morning and she kept as still as she could to avoid disturbing him. The sun was struggling to shine through the dark curtains and she gazed in wonder at his relaxed face as he slept. She was having trouble remembering what it was like to be alone and was amazed that this was her first time waking up next to him. Already it felt as if this was a return to normal service after his injury, yet so much had happened in the last few weeks to change their lives irrevocably.

After ten minutes or so he started to rouse from the deep sleep he had been in. She smiled as she watched his eyes crinkle slightly at the daylight then the slow smile move across his face as he realised he wasn't alone in bed. He was lying on his stomach and she laughed at the groan that sounded as if it came from his toes as he tried to turn over.

"It's not bloody funny, I think I've dislocated something" he murmured in a grumpy voice as he finally opened his eyes and blinked the sleepiness away.

She grinned at him. "I think I owe Fraser $10" she laughed and kissed him.

He ran his fingers down her back as he returned the kiss. "It doesn't do a man's soul any good to have his lover mention another man's name first thing in the morning" he said sadly as he finally managed to turn over completely and lie on his back.

She snuggled into his side and draped one leg over his groin. "He said you always woke up grumpy and I bet him $10 that you wouldn't with me!" she said with some indignation.

"I guess I'll just have to find some way to make it up to you?" he said archly and tried to roll over onto his side to hold her.

She couldn't help the laughter that shook her as he groaned and slumped back onto the bed. "That's OK" she finally managed. "I knew the risks when I took on an older man"

He sighed and tried to stretch but even this appeared to cause him discomfort. She finally realised that he wasn't kidding around and got out of bed, pulling on his dressing gown.

"I'll sort out some breakfast" she said gently. "Will the usual painkillers help?"

"Yes please" he said through gritted teeth. "It's an old injury from the time before I realised that telling Buffy not to hold back was a mistake"

She moved round to his side of the bed and leaned down to kiss him gently. "You should have said something last night" she said softly. "We could have tried something else"

He smiled back at her. "I wasn't really thinking about future consequences by the time you got me on my back" he laughed and held her hand in his for a moment.

An hour later, after breakfast in bed with painkillers and some judicious massage he finally made it into the shower.

Willow, who had already showered and dressed, was completing the translation on one of the supporting manuscripts when he finally came downstairs. She turned to look at him and smiled. "You seem to be moving a little easier?"

He nodded and came to read over her shoulder. "Yes, the painkillers and hot shower usually work. Did you find anything else?" he asked as he noticed what she was working on.

"Not really" she shrugged. "To be honest I'd forgotten all about it and was just checking to make sure there wasn't anything we'd missed yesterday"

"I don't think there is anything else we can do until we hit the library tomorrow" he shrugged. "Unless you want to find someone with keys who can let us in to the restricted section today?" he checked his watch.

"No" she looked up at him. "Tomorrow will be soon enough if we're right so far and I don't want to wait any more for your surprise!"

He laughed. "OK" he smiled hugging her as she stood up. "Let's put together a picnic and then we can stop by the dorm to let you change before we head out"

They quickly made up some sandwiches and put them into a hamper. Within fifteen minutes they were ready to go and she insisted on carrying the hamper to the car. He watched her carry it up the stairs and checked his pockets once more before leaving - wallet, car keys, stake, cross, holy water, condoms and painkillers. He smiled as he imagined the awkward questions if he was ever asked to empty his pockets!

 

When he reached the car Willow had her back to him and was chatting to someone. He groaned and tried to remember that he was supposed to be the grown up who didn't sulk when things didn't go to plan. He plastered a grin on his face as he reached them and tried not to sigh when he saw it was one of his neighbours who was animatedly explaining to Willow something about trash collection.

Willow was enthusiastically agreeing with everything that was said and didn't appear to hear him arriving behind her. When he gently goosed her she jumped and spun round "Rupert!" she cried. "Behave yourself" she scowled. "Mrs Leech was just telling me about the wild dog that's been ripping up the garbage bags recently"

He looked suitably chastened and apologised. "Sorry Mrs Leech, I didn't see you there. What's this about wild dogs?"

The older woman smiled at him and saw through his apology. It seemed that he had finally found someone to look after him, perhaps now he wouldn't look like the walking wounded so often. "I was just explaining to Willow here" she nodded in Willow's direction. "The past few nights Mr Leech and I have heard something knocking over the trash cans and ripping the bags open and we wondered if you had seen anything?"

"I'm sorry" he said shaking his head. He was frantically trying to remember if there had been a full moon last night. "I didn't hear anything last night"

"No" she smiled indulgently at them both. "I don't suppose you would" Funny, she thought to herself, I've seen this young girl going in and out of his house for years but she's blushing as if she was a new bride.

Giles squirmed in embarrassment but Willow laughed lightly. "We'll keep an ear out for it tonight" she promised and squeezed the older woman's arm. "I wouldn't worry about it, these wild dogs usually move on after a few days" she said in a reassuring tone.

"Enjoy your picnic" she nodded and left them alone. Later she would explain to an uninterested Mr Leech that the nice English gentleman downstairs had looked as if he was limping again but he would shrug and mumble something about the football game and she would sigh before going back to her knitting.

Willow smiled as he reversed the car out of the parking space. "She seemed nice" and laughed as he grunted. "She wasn't being nosy and it's your own fault if you're going to go around goosing people"

"Was it a full moon last night?" he asked as he ignored her laughter. She shook her head and he relaxed a little. "I didn't think so, it probably is just a wild dog"

She nodded and settled back into the seat. "Remind me to pick up my sunglasses at the dorm" she murmured as she closed her eyes and rested her hand on his thigh. She liked it when he wore jeans but the chinos he had put on today were a bit smarter and incredibly soft to touch. Without being aware of her actions she started to rub her hand on his thigh and sighed contentedly.

Half way to the dorm he cleared his throat. "Will Buffy be in your room?" he tried to affect an unconcerned tone but she laughed throatily without opening her eyes.

"I'm not sure if she stayed there or at Riley's last night but we're just stopping for clothes and nothing else" she finished with a definite nod of her head and finally opened her eyes to squint up at him. "I think you should give your back a bit of a rest after last night"

"I'm not a cripple" he observed dryly. "Anyway I was only asking in case you want me to wait in the car so you can give her all the latest gossip"

She sat up in her seat and shielded her eyes with her hand. "This really bothers you doesn't it?" she asked. "I mean you've heard us talk about this stuff before and it's not as if we draw diagrams or anything"

He shook his head. "Most of the time you might as well have" he laughed. "I'm not really bothered and I should be used to Xander's teasing by now but I just want this to be…." He searched for the right word.

He drew the car into a parking space near her dorm and she turned to face him with a serious look on her face. "Buffy and Xander know how important this is to both of us and they won't do anything to upset it"

He wouldn't meet her gaze. "I know" he said quietly. After a few seconds he seemed to reach a decision. "It's not that I mind them knowing about us but I just feel uncomfortable at being one of the gang in that sense and not the indulgent adult any more"

She reached across and held his hand. "First of all you were never that indulgent as the token adult!" she shook her head to prevent him interrupting. "Secondly you have nothing to worry about, you'll still be our Watcher and business will always come first "

He sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just a long time since I've been an insecure teenager. I promise I'll shake myself out of this mood while you collect your things" he squeezed her hand and watched her walk towards the dorm. "Where the hell did that come from?" he asked himself and ran his fingers through his hair. He decided that he desperately needed to pace and walked up and down beside the car for five minutes before he started to feel the tension leaving his body. By the time Willow returned ten minutes later he was lounging against the side of the car, watching her walk across the grass towards him.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you look doing that?" she murmured and handed him her overnight bag.

"What?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"Just standing there, doing nothing, exuding British, sports car sexiness" she chuckled at his injured look. "You should have a government health warning when you're in this mood" she whispered in his ear as she hugged him.

He smiled and held her door open for her before leaning in and kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what came over me"

"It's OK" she sighed and put her sunglasses on. "So where are we going?" she asked, pleased to change the subject.

"I thought we'd head for the mountains and stop for lunch at this lovely spot that has fantastic views of the valley?" he looked at her to check she was OK with this and continued when she nodded. "Then I thought we could take our time on the return journey and stop for dinner at an Italian restaurant I found a few years ago"

She smiled and put her hand back on his thigh. "That sounds lovely but are these clothes smart enough for the restaurant because I haven't packed anything dressy?"

"You look wonderful" he sighed and put his left arm round her shoulders. She snuggled closer to him and pushed her hair out of her eyes.

Later that night they were enjoying their second cup of strong coffee after a superb Italian meal. She was trying to persuade him to speak Italian again and he was objecting that he couldn't possibly order anything else as they were both on the point of bursting. Eventually he relented and asked the waiter for the bill.

"You could just have offered to unblock his drains and it would still sound sexy" she sighed as she gazed into his eyes across the table.

He laughed and took his wallet from his pocket. "Not that I'm complaining but you've heard me speak Italian often, why didn't it have this effect on you before?"

She smiled at the waiter as he handed Giles the receipt to sign. "Perhaps my ears are the last bit of me to fall madly in love with you?" she giggled and the waiter's grin broadened. He said something in Italian to Giles who laughed and replied. His answer caused much merriment among the waiting staff when it was reported back to them and all of the waiters waved as he helped Willow from her chair and put his jacket round her shoulders. "What did you say?" she asked as they walked across the car park.

"He asked me how long we had been seeing each other and I told him six years but, as usual with a woman, it had taken you this long to start listening to me!"

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously and turned to face him.

"He understood what you said about hearing me speaking Italian" he laughed and gathered her into his arms.

"No" she mumbled as she kissed his chest through his shirt. "When you told him we had been seeing each other for six years?"

"Well since it feels as if I have been holding you…" he started as he hugged her tighter to him. "And kissing you…." he continued, kissing her. "And feeling your bum…." he whispered in her ear as he matched his actions to his words. "For as long as I can remember I can only guess that part of me has been madly in love with you since the first time we met" he finished a little breathlessly as she reciprocated by kissing his throat and nibbling on his ear lobe.

"Part of me agrees with you" she said quietly as she gently undid the top buttons on his shirt so she could kiss his chest. "But part of me feels that I've only just found the real you in the last few months"

They kissed for several minutes, until he couldn't stand the increase in tension any longer. "Either I'm going to have to make love to you in this car park or we should stop this now and head home"

"I guess it would be nice to be able to come back here" she nodded at the waiters who were watching them from a window. "And I don't think we could do that if option 'a' wins the vote"

He sighed and held the car door for her, waving at the audience as he walked round the car to get in himself. He headed towards the highway and tuned the radio to some quiet background music as he pointed the car homewards.

"Today has been lovely" she said after several minutes. "Thank you"

"Thank you" he said and turned to smile at her.

"Have you been to that restaurant often, the waiters all seemed to know you?" she asked as she remembered their reception as they had arrived earlier that night.

"I first went several years ago and later I was able to sort out a little problem they were having at the time with a poltergeist so they probably remember me because of that. I haven't been back for a while though" he finished a little uncertainly.

"Who did you take the first time?" she asked quietly. When he didn't answer she turned slightly to look at him. "I'm sorry it's none of my business"

"It was Olivia" he said so quietly she had to strain to hear him. She leaned across and turned off the radio. "We had just met up again after years and I had driven her out to the mountains to persuade her that the smog didn't cover the entire country" he smiled at the memory. "When we were driving home we decided to stop here for some dinner"

She smiled at him and rested her hand on top of his. "Did you show off and speak Italian for her as well?"

He laughed and squeezed her hand. "I was not showing off" he protested. "Showing off would have been speaking in Latin, Ancient Greek, Sumerian.." he stopped as she laughed.

"It is so nice to finally meet someone with a brain who isn't scared to admit to it or use it" she swivelled back round in her seat and read the highway marker they passed. "We should be home in about half an hour?" she asked.

"If you promised not to throw up I could probably get there in about twenty minutes" he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and gunned the engine a little.

"I guess the last batch of painkillers have kicked in?" she asked as she settled back and closed her eyes. She heard him chuckle. "If you think you're up to it why don't you make it fifteen minutes?" she dared him. The only sign of her discomfort was the grip her left hand kept on the door handle but he didn't notice as he concentrated on the diminishing miles between them and his bed.

As he turned the final corner into the parking lot he glanced across at her and smiled. She looked so beautiful, even with her hair mussed up and a look of concentration on her face. He parked the car and reached across to push the hair back from her forehead. "Honey, we're home" he said gently. He noticed her gently flexing her left hand as she let go of the door handle and laughed. "Was it really that bad?'

She opened one eye and stared at him. "Worse, thank heavens you're giving this killing machine back to Fraser tomorrow"

He leaned across and kissed her, gently rubbing the back of her neck until she groaned against his lips. He pulled back and noticed both of her eyes were now open.

"Apology accepted" she murmured and pulled his shirt front to bring his lips to hers again.

"Mrs Leech will think there's something wrong that we're not getting out of the car" he laughed as he pulled away from her grip.

"Mrs Leech knows exactly why we're still in the car and I think she's relieved to see you finally doing something normal!" she giggled and scrunched down lower in her seat, stretching her legs out.

He looked down at her and felt another surge to his groin. She only had to look at him with those trusting eyes and he would be instantly transported to a level of erotic tension that he hadn't ever experienced before.

"Mrs Leech" he grinned at her and noticed a blush start on her neck as she recognised the look in his eyes. "Will be seeing more of both of us in about ten seconds unless you'd rather take this indoors?"

She toyed with the idea of calling his bluff and remaining in the car to see exactly what he meant when she remembered the pain caused by their last escapade. She shook her head and slid out from his arms. "I couldn't carry you indoors if you put your back out again" she said, offering him her hand to help him out of the car.

He growled and vaulted out of his seat without opening the door. She squealed a little as he darted towards her then remembered that she didn't really want to alert his neighbours.

Frantically 'shusshing' him she ran ahead towards the apartment door.

In truth he had surprised himself by still being able to exit the car the way he used to. He remembered with fondness how it used to impress the girls and realised the difference in being with Willow. She was impressed by him speaking flawless Italian and his ability to cross reference to olympic standards. It was probably just as well, he murmured to himself and sighed before slowly following her, gently easing a few muscles and praying they would last for another hour or so before giving up on him again.

He was half way to the door when he remembered her clothes were still in the car. Grinning he turned back for them, he didn't have any clean shirts left that she could borrow.

He expected her to be waiting for him indoors and tensed slightly as he heard voices as he approached his apartment. Not Mrs Leech again, surely? Then other, more frightening possibilities presented themselves and he jogged towards the noise.

When he saw Buffy sitting on his front step, with Willow sitting next to her he was intensely relieved and irritated at the same time. They both looked up at him in the same moment and he noticed the sober look on both of their faces.

"We have a problem" Willow said quietly and took her bag from him as he hunted for his keys.

 

CHAPTER 14

"What is it?" he asked anxiously as Buffy shut the door behind her. "Are you OK, where's Xander?" he was getting more worried with every passing second and wished she would answer at least one of his questions.

"Everyone's fine" Buffy said quietly and moved to sit at the table. He looked questioningly at Willow but she had turned away and wouldn't meet his gaze.

Neither of them was crying so he knew it couldn't be a life or death thing. As Buffy sat staring at her clenched hands he could feel anger building. "If this is a social call you have impeccably bad timing" he said dryly and sat down across from his slayer, gently putting his own hands on top of hers. "Tell me" he said gently.

"Angel called this morning to give me the latest on the research he was doing on Bolak" she began quietly. When she finally looked up at him her face was set and her eyes had darkened with anger.

He recognised the look and suddenly knew that a slight backache was the least of his worries. "Oh" he said then realised that he hadn't exactly helped his case. "What did he say exactly?"

She took a deep breath and held his eyes with her own. "He told me about the prophecy" she said and watched his eyes flinch slightly as he understood that she knew everything. "He told me about the part which meant you were supposed to die to let me live" she had raised her voice slightly and the anger was starting to leak out around the edges of her carefully controlled temper. "He mentioned, in passing, that you were lucky to have such a thick skull but that we'd better be more careful next time" Abruptly she stood up and started pacing. "He was a little surprised at my not knowing any of this, after all he assumed you would have told me after you spoke to him about it the day before the fight"

At this Willow jerked her head up. "You told Angel about this before the fight?" she asked incredulously. He looked at Willow for a brief second and she saw the shock in his eyes. "You don't remember do you?"

Buffy stopped pacing. "What bit don't you remember Giles? The bit where you fully expected to die and didn't tell your slayer or the bit where you deliberately put yourself in danger in some macho, heroic kick which nearly accomplished it's sick goal" Her fury was almost at the point where she would have to hit something but he had faded her out and was concentrating instead on trying to remember talking to Angel.

"Buffy wait" Willow said and moved to kneel down beside his chair. "Do you remember talking to Angel about this?" she asked gently.

He shook his head. "No, I still don't remember the last few days before the fight but it would make sense to speak to him if Bolak was using a vampire host as we suspect"

He looked up at Buffy as she stood, silently fuming, with her hands on her hips. "If I had told you what I'd found you would have chained me to my desk to stop me taking part in the fight and the prophecy may have been fulfilled by your death" he said quietly.

"Damn right I would have stopped you going, we could have taken them even without you there!" she stated with certainty and crossed her arms.

"No" Willow whispered and they both looked at her. Buffy was about to argue when Willow also stood up and moved towards her. "Do you remember what I told you about Gile's getting hurt?" she asked, willing her friend to remember the sequence of events. Realisation finally dawned on the slayer's face and most of the anger left her.

"Of course" Buffy nodded. "Angel said that the whole idea was to cripple the slayer either by killing me or someone close to me so that I was out of action and Bolak could move in and open the Hellmouth again"

Giles looked from Willow's face to Buffy's. "Will one of you tell me what is going on?" he asked. When Willow shook her head Buffy turned to face him.

"You and I will sort this out at training tomorrow" she moved across to kneel down in front of his chair. "I've trusted you with my life so many times I've lost count and it hurts that you didn't think you could trust me with yours" she said quietly and put her hand on his knee as he started to reply. "I know you're going to have a long winded and logical explanation but it won't be enough this time"

She stood up and moved to hug Willow. "I'm sorry to dump this on you but I don't think you guys need an audience for this next bit" she whispered in her friends ear.

Willow smiled weakly back at her. "Just be careful with him tomorrow, he's already hurt his back" she sighed.

"I'm not even going to ask" Buffy said dryly and picked her bag up from the table.

When she was gone the silence lasted for several minutes. Eventually Giles stood up and moved to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

When he put her tea in front of her she seemed to rouse herself from the reverie she had lapsed into. She put her hands round the mug and looked up at him. "Sit down" she said quietly. "There are some things about the fight that you need to know"

She told him in detail about the progress of the final battle at the sawmill, up to the point where she was surrounded by the five large vampires. He had taken his glasses off and was staring at the tabletop as she relayed his rescue of her from certain death. Her voice was flat and devoid of emotion but when she had finished he looked up to find her starting to cry.

"You don't remember any of this do you?" she sniffled.

"No" he replied huskily. He stood up and started to pace a little then returned to sit across from her. "The prophecy clearly mentions the one who watches as the only acceptable sacrifice in lieu of the slayers death" he said and looked to her for confirmation. "So why would they attack you?" he asked quietly.

She nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "The prophecy was written when only the slayer and watcher were aware of what needed to be done and the loss of either one was enough to effectively disable the other" She looked to see him nodding absently. "It didn't take into account our situation where several of us are de facto watchers to Buffy" she continued. "My death, or Xander's would have been just as effective in taking the slayer out of the game for long enough to get the Hellmouth open, by which time she wouldn't have been able to fight back"

He moved across to hold her and they stood in each other's arms for several minutes. "I'm sorry,” she mumbled. "I just keep remembering the vampire swinging that piece of wood at your head and thinking you were dead"

He held her a little tighter and moved them both to the sofa. "I had no idea that you came so close to death" he said quietly. "I don't think I'll ever get those memories back but that somehow makes it worse"

She smiled a little weakly at him. "Buffy was right about the macho, heroic thing. You were in full Ripper mode and could have taken on Stallone and Schwarzenegger with one hand tied behind your back"

"Until I forgot to duck?" he asked and pulled her closer to him. "I'm sorry for most of what happened and the worry I've caused all of you but I can't say that I'm 100% sorry as it brought us together" he looked down at her upturned face and smiled slightly. "Well, in a roundabout sort of way?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I knew if you survived at all I was going to make you admit your true feelings for me!" She scowled at him "I was also planning some painful retribution for the argument where you called me childish and told me you didn't love me"

He kissed her and rubbed his index finger down her throat, continuing until he met the lace of her bra. "I think you can leave the painful retribution to Buffy tomorrow" he smiled ruefully. "I seem to remember lecturing her about duty, responsibility and trust when she gave me the damaged back first time around"

Willow smiled. "She'd better not put you out of action or she'll have an angry and frustrated wicca to deal with"

He laughed and stretched out on the sofa. She wriggled round until she was comfortable and her left hand rested on his thigh. "Will you both be OK?" he asked as he began stroking her hair.

"What do you mean?" she asked and began stroking his knee absently.

"I mean will it cause any tension between you that you knew about this yesterday and kept it from her?" his hand was now gently rubbing her neck and shoulders.

"We'll sort it out" she murmured and turned her head so he could rub a tight muscle in her neck.

They lay, gently stroking each other, until he realised that her deep, steady breathing meant she had fallen asleep. He continued to gently rub her back and pulled the throw from the back of the sofa to keep them both warm.

She woke in the early hours of the morning and moved out from under his protective arm. She shivered slightly and went to the kitchen to make some hot milk for them both. Gently shaking him awake she handed him the hot milk and some painkillers. "If you sleep here all night you won't be able to walk for a week" she suggested and handed him his glasses from the coffee table.

"Are you OK?" he asked as he gingerly sat up and took the painkillers.

An almighty yawn shook her frame and she smiled sleepily at him. "I will be in the morning. What time do you need to be up to get Fraser's car back?"

He tried to stand and eventually managed, with a steadying hand from Willow and judicious use of the back of the sofa, to straighten up. "I'll meet up with him for a late lunch" he suggested and yawned himself. "Do you have early classes?"

"Nope" she smiled at him. "Sounds like a lazy morning in bed for both of us then?"

He took several deep breaths before attempting the stairs and didn't answer until they were in the bedroom and he was getting assistance to undress. "We should get to the library first thing and sort out whether the prophecy is done with" he suggested as she untied his shoelaces. "After all, I have an appointment with a homicidal slayer at 10.30 and I need to have some good news on that front before she decides to really lose her temper"

She quickly undressed herself and jumped into bed next to him. "She's more upset that you confided in Angel and not her" she said quietly.

He put his arm round her and she snuggled against him. "Is she the only one?" he asked and turned his head to look at her. "I mean I don't remember what Angel and I discussed but he obviously expected me to tell all of you"

She shook her head but wouldn't meet his gaze. "I don't want to start this argument again" she murmured. "Let's get some sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow"

He sighed but let the matter drop. He knew that the repercussions of his decision would continue for a long time to come but he still wasn't convinced that he would do anything differently if the same circumstances arose now.

He was awakened by the sound of the shower the next morning and took several minutes to test that the pains in his back seemed to have settled down sufficiently to get up. By the time he had risen the shower had switched off and he knocked the bathroom door. "Willow?"

She opened the door and smiled as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Good morning, how's the back?" she asked as she returned to the bathroom to finish drying herself.

"Better" he said and hugged her, smiling at her in the mirror. "In fact it feels as if I should probably exercise it to get rid of some of the stiffness" he said coyly and raised his eyebrows in question.

"You are worse than a teenager!" she giggled and turned in his arms to kiss him again. "Enough" she finally managed to pull away from him. "We have to get to the library, meet Buffy then Fraser and I also have classes to go to this afternoon while you do some grocery shopping"

He stood back and looked at her, still slightly wet and pink from her shower and started to laugh. "You sound like an old married woman" he finally managed and ducked as she threw her towel at him. "Why on earth am I going grocery shopping?" he shouted to her as she went into the bedroom to get dressed and he ran warm water to shave.

"Because I'm cooking you a special meal tonight and I don't have time to go shopping myself" she shouted back at him and heard him start to laugh again.

They grabbed some toast and mugs of tea before heading out for the library. "I think I'll miss this car" she sighed as she rubbed his left thigh. "But at least your right thigh will get some attention"

He didn't answer but coughed a little and shuffled in the seat. When she didn't stop running her nail down the side seam of his trousers he pulled the car over and turned to look at her. "I can't go into a library with you on my arm and in this aroused state" he whispered fiercely indicating the general direction of his groin. "I'll be drummed out of the library corps!"

She laughed and crossed her arms. "We can't have that" she said and smiled sweetly as he started the car and headed for the university campus again. "Would you be defrocked or de-bagged or de-fined?" she giggled

"Probably all three" he mumbled and ran an amber light to get to his destination before he changed his mind.

Willow stopped to chat to some friends from her dorm and to catch up on the latest gossip. Giles headed for the restricted section that contained the arcane folklore and middle ages texts. After ten minutes he had collected six books that he took to the nearest booth and, removing his jacket and cleaning his glasses, he sat down to tackle the final part of this mystery.

Ten minutes later Willow appeared at his elbow and pulled a chair over to sit next to him. "How you getting on?" she asked quietly.

"Just started" he mumbled and handed her two of the books. "Can you look through these?"

She sighed a little and took the books from him. She never thought she would admit it but, even in the library, she would rather be kissing him than researching with him. The thought surprised her more than a little and she hoped that it was just the novelty of finally being able to kiss him that was disturbing the normal order of things. She settled down and concentrated on the first transcript. She was soon deeply immersed in the rather flowery prose of the original author that hadn't been helped by a humourless translation from the original manuscript. Occasionally she would make notes and once, when she gazed over at him, saw that Giles was doing the same.

By 10.15 she had identified the important passages and checked their meaning in relation to the information they already had. She glanced over at Giles and found him staring at her. "Finished?" she asked and stretched a little. At this time on a Monday morning the library was still quiet and they could talk in normal voices without disturbing others.

"Two of these seem to agree with the vampire host theory but this one" he held up what seemed to be a small notebook. "Seems to suggest a different host/demon relationship entirely" She nodded and he continued. "I think the confusion has arisen because the demon always uses vampires as his right hand men, although he inhabits living hosts "

He gathered the other books together and left them in a trolley next to the desk. Willow took the book he was holding and thanked the librarian who handed it back to her with her card. They continued to the exit and she walked close by him so that they weren't overheard. "Buffy was fairly sure we were the only live ones in the sawmill" she suggested and looked up at him. "Which means he could have been outside coordinating the fight without actually getting his hands dirty?"

"It could" he nodded. "But if that were the case why didn't he finish the job he started?" She stopped to stare at him and he looked a little crestfallen at the language he had chosen. "Sorry, but I mean I was lying in a hospital bed for three weeks and he could have attacked at any time"

She nodded and started to walk towards the car again. "In fact" she remembered. "Buffy was complaining how quiet everything was while you were recuperating, remember what she said at the first pizza night at your place?"

He smiled at the designation of the meeting and agreed with her. "That's right, she was wondering if it was the calm before the storm or if the battle had discouraged the local vampires for a while"

They drove the short distance to the gym and found Buffy sitting outside chatting to a couple of young men. Willow waved and moved to join her but Giles took a little longer, admitting to himself that he was prevaricating because he wasn't looking forward to the discussion he was about to have with his slayer.

When he joined them Buffy said goodbye to the two college students and headed indoors without speaking to Giles. Willow shrugged and followed her inside. Giles took his time in changing into his sweats and eventually ran out of things to do which would prolong the inevitable. Buffy and Willow were sitting on one of the benches at the side of the private room and were in deep conversation. Willow was doing most of the talking with Buffy occasionally nodding in agreement.

He walked over and handed his glasses to Willow. "Ready?" he asked Buffy and headed for the middle of the mats that had been laid out for them.

After five minutes he remembered why they were called crash mats and five minutes after that he lost count of the number of times he had used them for that purpose. She was going easy on him, he knew that, but it was still trying to spend most of the time looking at the ceiling. With the last judo throw she sighed and looked towards Willow. "It's no fun when he doesn't fight back" she said and walked back to the bench to get a drink from the water bottle Willow was holding.

"I told you he had hurt his back!" Willow said defensively then blushed when Buffy stared at her for several seconds with a raised eyebrow.

He got up from the floor slowly and used the towel she threw at him to wipe his face. Willow handed him a bottle of water as well as his glasses. "OK?" she asked, trying not to sound worried but not succeeding.

"I'm OK" he sounded a little out of breath but not as much as she had expected. "I don't think Buffy needs to worry about your wicca frustration" he said as he took another drink and left her to explain to Buffy.

When Buffy had stopped making vomit sounds Willow stood up. "I'm leaving you two alone" she announced. "I expect him to be in one piece when you're finished with him!" she wagged her finger at Buffy and kissed him quickly before turning away. She was almost out of the door when she turned and ran back towards him. "I nearly forgot" she said, rummaging through her backpack. Finally she found what she was looking for and handed him two sheets of paper. "Shopping list" she smiled sweetly at him and, with one more, quick kiss, she ran from the room.

He stared after her and was wondering what on earth he had done to deserve her when he was brought out of his reverie by Buffy laughing. "What?" he asked in an injured tone.

"You're just like an old married couple already" she giggled and used her towel to mop her eyes. She expected him to deny this statement but realised that he was actually standing with a stupid grin on his face. "Oh my god!" she gasped. "You didn't get married did you?"

The stupid grin turned to a shocked look. "Of course not, we've only just admitted how we feel about each other" he protested.

"Right" she nodded exaggeratedly. "And you're still at the courting stage. When will you ask her father's permission to take her to a movie?" she smiled sarcastically and moved to the weapons bag she had brought with her.

She had hit upon something he had been deliberately ignoring since his recovery. "What is her father like?" he asked as she threw a sword at him.

She smiled as he caught it perfectly. "He's OK, just a bit old, kind of detached" she answered and squared up to him.

He looked a little worried. "How do you think he will react when he finds out about us?" She didn't answer until he had successfully defended four of her attacks.

"If you can counteract my offense this well he should be a pushover" she said and mounted another attack. "When are you planning on telling him?"

"I wasn't" he announced and, noticing she was off balance launched an attack of his own. "I was hoping that we could keep sneaking around behind his back until Willow was about forty then we could elope"

She dropped her guard and stared aghast at him. "You've faced demons from hell, vampires and Cordelia on a bad hair day yet you're still too scared to talk to her parents?"

He dropped his own sword point to the floor and nodded. "Exactly, at least the demons, vampires and Cordelia were things I could fight or get the better of with my ready wit and dashing good looks" he smiled at her.

"I'm seeing a whole new side of you since the accident mister!" she concluded and they spent the next fifteen minutes in serious practice.

"About the accident" he said breathlessly when they stopped for another break. "I know you think I let you all down when I didn't tell you about the prophecy but I need to know you understand why I did what I did"

She nodded. "I did a lot of thinking last night after I left you. I even phoned Angel and talked to him about it" she said quietly. "We talked it through for a while and he reminded me of times where I'd screwed up big time in not trusting any of you" She stared at the floor for a while.

"I should have learned from that as well" he said softly remembering the time when she had kept Angel's return secret from them all. "I need to know that you still trust me to be your Watcher" he finally said quietly.

She turned to look at him and put her hand over his. "Of course I do!" she said in surprise. "Giles I wouldn't have survived this long if it wasn't for you, I owe you my life several times over" he was about to interrupt when she stood up and started to pace in front of him. "You're not just my Watcher, you're one of my closest friends and you've stayed by my side through the worst that the Hellmouth and normal teenage fate has thrown at me. You've taught me things I won't even realise until I'm older and wiser!" she finished and turned to stare at him.

He stared at her in amazement. He had honestly expected her to still be furious with him and had thought that the time had arrived when she would realise she didn't need a Watcher any more. He couldn't think of anything adequate to express his feelings of pride, thanks and love.

She saw many feelings cross his face. "Look at me" she said and he came out of his reverie and looked at her. "You've even got me hooked on pacing!" she said with disgust and he laughed.

He stood up and moved to hug her. "Thank you" he said and would have added more if she hadn't thrown him the length of three mats to land in a heap. He lay still for several moments and finally lifted one hand in surrender "Thank you" he managed to croak.

 

CHAPTER 15

He had arranged to meet Fraser at 1.30pm and arrived a little late. The Doctor was sitting in Giles' car reading a magazine when Giles pulled up next to him in the car park of the restaurant.

He made a great show of slowly walking round the car to inspect it for dents or scratches and eventually arrived back at the driver's door with a satisfied grin on his face. "Never mind the car" Giles grunted. "Give me a hand would you?" he asked and reached up to lean on the Doctor as he tried to get out of his seat.

"What on earth have you done to yourself now?" Fraser asked incredulously as he steadied his friend and closed the car door for him.

"Aggravated an old back injury at the weekend and trained with Buffy this morning" he grumbled as he slowly walked towards the restaurant entrance.

Fraser laughed and shook his head as he moved ahead to hold the door open for him. He waited until they had been seated and were checking menus before his curiosity got the better of him. "So what did you do to upset Buffy and what did she do to you?" he asked quietly.

"It's a long story but it wasn't all Buffy's fault. It had been feeling much better this morning before I started training with her. I should have known better" he shrugged slightly and returned to the menu. He was starving and needed a decent meal before he could take any more painkillers.

"After lunch we'll go back to my consulting rooms and I'll give you a once over" Fraser said and waved the waiter over to take their order.

"Does it hurt if I press here?" asked Fraser when he finally persuaded Giles to lie up on his examining table.

"Of course it bloody hurts!" Giles gasped and took several deep breaths. "Sorry" he finally said and relaxed again.

"No, I'm used to it" the Doctor sighed. "I think rest and some ice packs should take care of it over the next couple of days but you should definitely stop doing whatever aggravated it in the first place" he suggested and moved back to his desk, not seeing the slight smile that crept over Giles' face. "I'll give you some slightly stronger painkillers but only use them for a few days at a time"

When Giles had finally pulled his t-shirt and sweater back on he moved to the desk and pulled out his wallet. Fraser was watching him with an air of professional detachment, trying to see if he was fit enough to drive home. He stared at Giles a little surprised when he was handed a ten-dollar bill from his wallet. "You of all people should know that your insurance will cover this treatment" he protested.

Giles shook his head and gingerly lowered himself into a hard backed chair. "It's not for that" he smiled. "I'm led to believe you made a bet with Willow and I was instructed to tell you that you had won but I was to pay up?"

Fraser looked a little confused then enlightenment settled on his face and he reached out for the money. "So that's how you hurt your back" he laughed. "Perhaps you should leave swinging from the chandelier to the younger generation?"

"Perhaps" Giles admitted ruefully. "I also need to apologise properly for Saturday night and thank you for keeping her safe, even if your methods were a little unorthodox" he said quietly.

Fraser stood up and poured him some water. "I think it was the other way round, she kept me safe" he said. "And I don't think you have anything to apologise for, after all, this has all happened incredibly quickly for you and it must be a huge temptation to protect her from all of the bad things in this world"

"That's part of the problem" Giles agreed. "I've been trying to protect them all for the past six years but they have grown up in a world of demons, vampires and monsters" he shook his head. "Once you are involved in trying to defeat the chaos it is impossible to walk away from it without losing some vital part of yourself in the process"

Fraser looked at him through narrowed eyes and decided that his involvement in their work meant he had to better understand their motives. "What do you mean?" he prompted.

"When I was at Oxford I got involved with some seriously unstable people" he began. "At the time we all thought we were the archetypal 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' group but in our case we went on to prove much worse" his voice had dropped a little, this was obviously painful for him to remember. "A group of us took to studying the dark side of magic and were enticed by the power and sense of danger we encountered. Bearing in mind that I was raised to take on my duties as Watcher, I knew better than anyone the danger of what we were dabbling with but I encouraged others to become involved" He stopped to take a drink of water. "I turned out to be quite adept at summoning dark forces and this unfortunate talent led several of my friends to believe that we could control these forces."

"That was your first mistake?" Fraser asked quietly when it looked as if Giles wouldn't continue.

Giles looked up quickly and shook his head. "For several of them it was their last mistake" he waited for Fraser to understand what he was saying. "After that I knew that I couldn't turn my back on my true calling. I returned to Oxford to finish my studies and take up my post with the Watchers Council" he finished in a bit of a rush but Fraser was looking at him in stunned fascination.

"Have you ever told Buffy or the others?" Fraser asked.

"Not everything" Giles looked off into the distance. "When I was first assigned to be Buffy's watcher I was glad to finally be given the chance to take a 'front line' job for a change" he smiled a little at the recollection. "I expected to have a slayer who would patrol with me and we could wipe out the bad guys together" he sighed. "When I arrived Buffy came with 'baggage' and I couldn't stop them finding out about her calling. As soon as they knew what was happening they wanted to help and I couldn't stop that happening either" He looked Fraser in the eye. "Here I was, a comprehensively trained adult with specially honed skills and I could only watch as the three of them bumbled their way through the first few months. It's a miracle any of them survived"

"They faced horrors and nightmares that most of us literally never dream of and came out of it as, all things considered, incredibly well adjusted adults. I have to admit to being a little disgruntled that a small temptation had been enough to lead me astray when I was their age and they managed to overcome everything fate threw at them!" he laughed a little ruefully. "I think they are immune to temptation, they don't even smoke tobacco for god's sake, never mind anything else"

Fraser raised his eyebrows at him. "It seems slightly sacrilegious to go through college and not smoke something" he agreed.

"Exactly" Giles nodded in agreement. "Anyway" he sighed. "None of them would ever consider giving up this life for a moment. They continue to fight to ensure that the friends they've all lost over the years were on the winning side at the end"

"And why do you continue?" Fraser asked. "After all you must have repaid your debt to society by now"

Giles considered for a moment. "I think they mean more to me than any group of people I've ever known" he acknowledged. "The fight against chaos, and the dark forces it unleashes in this world, is a huge undertaking. You can't wake up in the morning and say 'oh well another day of saving the world from apocalypse and home in time for tea'" he sat forward in the chair to stress his point. "You need to wake up in the morning and say 'today I'm going to try and save one innocent from the scary monsters'. That way you can get out of bed and face the challenges"

"And when one of those innocents happens to wake up next to you, how do you cope with leaving her side and letting her face scary monsters on someone else's behalf?" Fraser asked gently.

"I don't really know" Giles answered honestly. "It's never been this close to home before, although Jenny could have been that person if she had survived long enough"

They both sat in silence for several minutes. Fraser knew that this discussion was as much about letting Rupert work through his problems as enlightening himself to what lay ahead.

Giles finally roused himself and looked at the Doctor. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be maudlin. I think I'm just feeling my age and wanted to sort through some painful memories and consign them to the past where they belong"

"It's OK" Fraser nodded and came round his desk to help Giles stand. "Are you sure you are able to drive, I could always take you home?"

"I need to get some grocery shopping before I head home but I should be OK" he reassured the Doctor. "Willow's cooking a special dinner for us tonight and I'm supposed to be getting the ingredients together for her" he smiled a little sloppily and shook the Doctor's hand. "Thank you for listening to me, I promise I'll be better company next time"

When Willow arrived at his apartment after classes finished for the day she found him sitting at the table reading through the book they had checked out that morning. He smiled up at her and gingerly got out of the chair to give her a hug.

"Back getting worse?" she asked with concern and leaned up to kiss him.

"A little but Fraser had a look at it this afternoon and said a couple of days rest should see it OK" he murmured as he continued to hold onto her.

"How is Fraser?" she asked and extricated herself from his arms.

"He's fine and I gave him the ten dollars!" he grinned.

"Rupert!" she squeaked. "You told him?"

"Not in so many words" he admitted. "I left your shopping in the kitchen, do you want a hand?"

"I guess you're hungry?" she laughed. "It's OK, I want to do this myself. Did you find anything else in the book?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen.

"It's still a little unclear but I think I've almost nailed down the transference procedure" he replied and returned to sit at the table. "I put a bottle of white in the fridge earlier if you want something to drink" he added.

"Mmmm please" he dimly heard from the depths of several bags of shopping on the counter. "Do you want something?" she asked.

"Better not. Fraser gave me some new painkillers and said they were quite strong" he mumbled as he picked the book up and returned to reading.

Half an hour later Willow asked him to lift the book from the tabletop. When he complied without looking up she shook her head and proceeded to set the table around him. Ten minutes later she stood behind him and gently kissed his neck. She knew he was really engrossed when he didn't respond immediately but, after a minute or so, he lowered the book and leaned back in the chair. "Dinner's nearly ready" she whispered in his ear and took the opportunity to nibble his earlobe while she was there.

He stretched back with one arm and pulled her round to his side. The kiss started gently and deepened slowly until he pushed his chair back from the table in preparation for her sitting in his lap. She pulled away from his lips and stared dreamily into his eyes. "I thought Fraser told you to rest for a couple of days?" she asked as her finger traced the line of his lips.

"He did mention bed rest quite specifically" Giles replied rather huskily and licked her finger as it passed.

"Perhaps later" she whispered and moved away from him. "Let's eat first and you can tell me about what Buffy said this morning"

He groaned but moved his chair back to the table. He placed the book on the chair next to him and finally noticed the table setting, complete with candles. "I didn't even know I had a table cover this colour" he laughed. "Can I give you a hand?"

"It's done" she said as she carried two large plates through and placed them on the table. "I know I should have checked before but you do like steak?" she looked into his eyes willing him to admit that it was his favourite dish.

"Wow" he said looking at the food on his plate. "This looks fabulous!" he said as he looked wonderingly at her.

"Don't look so surprised" she laughed and sat opposite him. "Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I completely missed the Home Ec classes"

He smiled and put his hand over hers. "Will there ever be a time when you don't surprise me?" he asked.

"If it's this easy I guess not" she shrugged and picked up her cutlery. "Don't let it get cold!" she pronounced sternly then laughed at herself. "Sorry I tend to channel my grandmother when I cook"

After they had finished the meal he leaned back and stretched luxuriously. "I think I need to meet your grandmother and thank her" he sighed.

She smiled and lifted the plates, moving into the kitchen. "Tea or coffee?" she asked.

Half an hour later they had finished their tea and were stretched out on the sofa. Willow snuggled a little closer to him and he gently moved his hand up and down her side. "So what did Buffy say after I left?" she asked quietly.

"We had a long talk and, while I don't think she agrees with my decision I think she understands why I made it" he said and started stroking her hair. "I suppose I'll have to make some explanation to Xander soon before he threatens to hit me again and that will just leave you"

She sighed and put her arm round his waist. "I don't think I'll ever understand you making that decision without talking to us first" she looked up at him. "I know you were trained to make life or death decisions but you passed some of that onto all of us and you should have trusted us to help you make the decision"

He sighed and moved his hand to her face, gently tracing her jaw line. "I trust all of you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life" he stated in a quiet but firm voice. "It was an attempt to try and spare the three people dearer to me than life itself from having to make that decision"

She met his gaze and sat up a little straighter. "I just need you to know that your death will never be the only viable option in any other situation. You will never know how close you came to fulfilling the prophecy and none of us will ever allow that to happen again. Like Buffy said, the bad guys can throw anything at us but they better lay off my boyfriend!"

He shook his head. "I wish I could be so sure…" she put her fingers against his lips to silence the rest of his sentence.

"We've both experienced what it feels like to think the other is dead, and I never want to experience anything like that again" she put her hand on his chest. "Every time we win a battle we become stronger, more experienced and a little harder to kill and, although we get pretty close sometimes, we will always win out over the bad guys"

He looked down at her and saw the grim determination in her eyes. "I wish it were that simple but a lot of it has been luck and we will eventually run out of it just when we need it most"

He saw that a small part of her agreed with him but she hadn't given up fighting just yet. "Buffy is uber-slayer personified, you're almost fully recovered, Xander believes in himself more with every passing day and I'm a witch not to be meddled with" she saw him smile slightly. "In conjunction with the reserves we can call on we will survive and you will have to rewrite the watcher's handbook to allow for a slayer who can retire when she's sixty!"

"I don't think I'll survive till my mid-eighties to rewrite anything if you keep up your insatiable demands!" he announced and saw the agreement in her eyes that the subject had been laid to rest, for now.

She moved closer to him and kissed him, gently at first but increasing in intensity as he moved his hand to stroke her upper thigh. "Exactly how good are the painkillers Fraser gave you?" she panted slightly when she finally pulled away.

"I think now would be a good time to find out, after all, we are the top research team in Sunnydale" he laughed. She watched as he gingerly rose from the sofa then turned to give her his hand. "Unless you'd rather do the dishes first?" he raised his eyebrow and gave her the quirky smile she found irresistible. She jumped off the sofa and headed for the stairs.

When he finally got up the stairs she was already sitting on the bed, sans clothing, impatiently drumming her fingers on the bedside table. "I've waited years for that smile to lead to this and I'm not waiting any longer" she said as she rose to start undressing him.

"My smile?" he asked in surprise.

"Uuuuhhuu" she mumbled as she struggled with the belt buckle. Eventually she got the catch open and quickly removed his trousers and t-shirt then looked up into his eyes. "Whenever you used to combine that smile with the raised eyebrow thing I would melt. Of course when you combined both of them with cleaning your glasses it was all I could do not to jump you there and then"

"I thought the rapt expression was wonder at my brilliance in the face of a particularly knotty problem?" he asked as he pushed her back towards the bed.

"Your brain was usually the last thing on my mind when the erotic daydreams kicked in" she whispered as she pulled him down next to her.

He winced slightly and moved to a more comfortable position. "Do you mean to tell me that you were having improper thoughts about me in my library?" he asked incredulously.

"The library, the hallway, the cafeteria, your car, the Bronze a couple of times, here of course and…" she stopped and blushed. "There was one time in Buffy's house when her Mum looked at you kind of funny but that was more kinky than erotic"

He pushed her back slightly and looked incredulously at her. "Buffy told you about her mother and I!" she ducked her head and continued to blush furiously as he continued. "And you had a fantasy about it?"

"NO!" she looked back up at him. "Not that!" she insisted with a hint of distaste on her face and he seemed to relax a little. "It was more about you and I with the handcuffs and the police car and stuff" she ended miserably as she saw him staring at her open mouthed.

"Joyce told Buffy about the handcuffs?" he whispered.

"It just kind of slipped out when Buffy was able to read people's thoughts but Buffy never admitted anything to either of you about how much she picked up" she ducked her head again. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have mentioned it"

He was silent for a moment longer then he started to laugh. "I'm not surprised she found out, after all Joyce and I must have been frantically trying not to think of that night while we were around her and that was the surest way to bring it into our minds" he smiled at her. "What is more intriguing is what you were dreaming about, young lady?" he smiled at her again and raised his eyebrow for good measure.

She buried her head in her hands and wouldn't meet his eyes. "I can't believe I'm lying here, naked, next to you, naked, and I'm embarrassed about a fantasy I had years ago"

He started to laugh and pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" he said in a reassuring voice. "Although I'm sure I have a pair of handcuffs around here somewhere" he whispered into her hair and felt her start to laugh as well.

"How am I supposed to ravish you when you don't take me seriously?" she finally managed to say after her laughter died down a little.

"I'm terribly sorry" he said and immediately adopted a stern countenance. "Ravish away" and he lay back on the bed and spread his arms.

"Are you thinking of England?" she asked as she straddled his thighs. He looked a little confused. "You know, lie back and think of England" she supplied and ran her hands down his chest to rest on his abdomen.

"I've always thought it was vaguely treasonous to think of the Queen at a time like this" he mumbled as he reached out to touch her breasts. He winced slightly and put his hands on her thighs. "Perhaps you could lie back down next to me?" he asked.

"If your back is really sore we shouldn't be doing anything" she said and lay down next to him.

"It's just when I reach or stretch" he mumbled as he turned to face her and gently stroked her breast and nipple. "See, absolutely no pain when everything is within reach" he happily reported and grinned at her.

They lay on their sides facing each other, stroking every part of each other's bodies. As they explored every inch of flesh they kissed occasionally but didn't speak, preferring to let other senses take over and experience the sensations coursing through their systems.

Willow finally reached his erection on her travels across his body. As she held it and began to gently rub her hand along the length of it she heard him take a sharp breath. "OK?" she asked a little breathlessly. He nodded and let his own hand wander to her groin. She gasped as he slid his fingers between her thighs and moved up towards the concentration of almost every nerve ending she had.

She increased the pace of her hand movements a little and he moved closer to her. He continued his exploration of her clitoris and vagina with his fingers, his eyes never leaving her face. He looked in wonder as she closed her eyes and let her head roll back slightly. Her mouth opened and she licked suddenly dry lips in an unconsciously erotic way. The pace of his fingers increased and he began tracing small circles across her clitoris, her sharp intake of breath indicating that she was responding to his ministrations, and he smiled lazily as he realised she had increased the speed of her hand on his throbbing erection.

He knew she was close to the edge but was equally certain that the pain he was experiencing in his lower back meant he wouldn't be able to have intercourse with her. He cleared his throat slightly and leaned across to kiss her neck. "Willow?" he whispered and gazed into her slightly unfocussed eyes when she smiled at him. "I love you" he said and kissed her. She responded by increasing the pace of her hand further and he pulled back to take a deep breath. "I want to hear you come" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck. He felt her thighs tighten around his hand and focussed his attention on the rapidly hardening clitoris at her centre. "I want to see you come" he sighed against her shoulder as he moved his kisses down her body. She was whimpering gently and had moved her hips closer to him. She was breathing heavily now and he could feel her breath on his back as he bent his head to kiss her nipples. "I want to feel you come" he murmured as he heard her breathing change rhythm. She gasped and let go of his erection as her orgasm started deep within her. Her thighs clenched down on his hand, confining movement to the ever decreasing circles he was running around her clitoris. She grabbed his head and held him to her breast, gasping incoherently. Her entire body was rigid in his arms as the orgasm spread out to reach every cell. He stopped kissing her nipple and held her in his arms as she shuddered and eventually relaxed.

She smiled down at him as he moved away from her and she squidged down the bed to his eye level. "That was some first time" she whispered and shuddered as an after shock ran through her system.

"First time?" he asked and ran his hands over the muscles in her stomach, causing further shudders.

When she had finally got her breath back she smiled at him and ran her hand through his hair. "First time I've ever done that with someone watching" she admitted shyly. "Your turn?" she asked as she looked at him again.

He shook his head a little sadly. "I would like nothing better but I'm sorry, the painkillers aren't as good as we thought" he pulled her into his arms. "Perhaps you should get someone nearer your own age instead of being stuck with a decrepit old thing like me?" he suggested.

"You're not old and your back will get better soon" she said and looked up at him again. "We don't need to have sex all of the time, cuddling and kissing and groping and touching and…" she gazed into his eyes and lost her train of thought. "I mean" she shook her head. "They can all be fun as well?" she ended on a questioning note.

He nodded. "I want you so much but it would be better to wait until I'm a little fitter and can satisfy you properly" The orgasm induced blush was dissipating and he watched it leave her breasts with interest.

"Ready?" she asked as she noted his gaze.

"Ready?" he said absently and moved his eyes to her face. "For what?"

She simply smiled and slid further down the bed. "Willow!" he said in surprise when he felt her hands around his erection again. "Willow!!" he said as he felt her tongue lick at the tip and start a slow, languorous descent to the base. "Oh dear lord" he said under his breath as he felt his balls cupped in her hand and, very gently, squeezed. "Willow… you don't…" he took a deep breath and tried to get his brain to organise the words he knew he should be saying. "I don't expect…" he gave up as her lips closed around him and he felt the heat of her mouth move down his shaft. The same movement, in reverse, caused him to start conjugating Latin verbs in an attempt to prolong the divine agony for a moment longer. She put her hand on his hip to keep him steady and on his side. She smiled as she felt him start to push his hips towards her then stop abruptly. She looked up towards his face and saw his eyes closed in what seemed to be acute pain and his lips moving rapidly.

She stopped what she was doing and let her hand take over for a moment. "Is this hurting your back, cause I can stop if you want me to?" she suggested innocently and giggled when he glared down at her.

"It won't be for much longer" he managed to grate through clenched teeth. "I'm running out of Latin verbs"

She shook her head and returned her lips to his balls. She sucked at them for a few seconds until she heard him gasp.

"Yesss, yesss" he kept saying, over and over under his breath and she took the full length of him back into her mouth. As she moved up and down on him, steadily increasing the pace to match his thrusts she knew that he was close. She took him with her hand again as she licked the drops that were starting to appear at the tip.

"I want to feel you come" she said before she took him into her mouth for the last time and felt his hips thrust hard towards her. "Now!" she heard him shout as she swallowed the hot fluid, keeping her mouth moving up and down his shaft until she felt his hands on her head, staying her movements.

He gently pulled her back up and kissed her, tasting himself as his tongue battled with hers. When he released her she smirked at him. "Back OK?" she asked sweetly.

He pushed the sweat-dampened hair away from her eyes and stared at her slightly pink face in wonder. "You dreamt all that in the library after one smile?" he asked a little breathlessly.

She giggled and looked a little embarrassed. "Not quite but reality is often better than fantasy"

He smiled at her and lifted her chin to force her to meet his gaze. "If this is any indication, perhaps we should try some more of your fantasies?" he suggested.

She had a concentrated look on her face for a moment then it cleared and she smiled. "Do you still have a tweed suit?" she asked and twirled her fingers around one of his nipples.

He stared at her in amazement and then started to laugh. "I have never in my life, ever met anyone quite like you" he finally announced and pulled her towards him for another kiss.

 

 

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