Title: Beer Badder
Author/date: gilescandy '11
Rating: 15
Paring (characters): Giles/Willow (Xander, Buffy)
Disclaimer: Joss wrote them first!
Timeline: Season 4: Beer Bad. Only push Willow 's storyline up a day or two so she's already worried about Oz and goes drinking with Buffy.
Summary: The boys have to deal with a Cave-Slayer and a Cave-Witch. Poor boys!

"So, what should we do now?" Xander asked, leaning toward Giles as they watched the two cave girls lope across the quad in front of them.

Giles dug his hands deeper into his pockets trying to alleviate some of his annoyance. "Believe it or not, Xander, there is nothing in the handbook about what to do when your Slayer and her friend are tuned into their prehistoric counterparts by cursed beer," he grumbled.

The boy sighed, "You're still mad at me, aren't you? How was I supposed to know my boss was an a--?"

"No, Xander," Giles looked over to give him a quick smile. "I realize you were only doing your job. I'm worried, that's all."

"Well," the young man smiled back in relief, "Jack said it would wear off in about a day. You're the plan man. Any ideas of what we should do with them?"

"Perhaps, if we can get them back to their dorm room and--"

"Hey, where'd they go?" Both men looked up to find that the girls were no longer in front of them and began glancing around frantically. Xander let out a breath when he spotted them about ten paces behind. "There you are! Bad cave girls. Scare Xander like that."

Buffy and Willow were sniffing the air and staring intently at their male companions. They started forward with slow, cat-like movements.

Xander unconsciously took half a step behind the bigger man. "Giles, are they… stalking us?" he asked with no small amount of concern in his voice.

"Um… it appears that… perhaps," Giles stammered for an answer.

"Man!" Buffy proclaimed, sniffing the air again.

"Good man, strong," Willow agreed.

Before he could move, both girls were pressed against Giles, sniffing at his neck and chest. The ex-Watcher held perfectly still, trying not to react to the attention.

"O-k-a-y…" Xander wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that he was being spared. "Now, why are they going after you?"

"Well…" Giles let out a giggle as small, roaming hands seemed to seek out all the ticklish spots he had. "Stop that! There are theories that primitive man may have had a pack mentality. If so, the females, as with wolves, would most likely have been drawn to find an 'alpha' male to mate with. Hoping he could provide for and protect her offspring."

"And what makes you the alpha male?" Xander huffed defensively. Giles turned his head to look down at his young friend with raised eyebrows. "Fine, I'll give you that one. But I just hope you realize what it takes for me to admit a man twice my age could probably kick my butt any day of the week."

"About what it takes for me to admit the same of a girl half my size, I'm sure," Giles chuckled affectionately to him as the girls seemed to suddenly let up.

"Oh God, now what are they doing?"

Both men cocked their heads to the side as their two beautiful friends crouched before them, pushing their buttocks out as far as they could.

Giles cleared his throat uncomfortably, trying to bring his voice back down to its normal register. "I believe they are presenting… They are displaying to me their readiness and willingness to mate."

Xander shuddered. "I'm officially freaked out now. It's like they expect you to… Right here in the open."

"You must remember this in no way represents their true feelings. They are acting on pure instinct. I'm sure neither of them have ever considered--"

"Man choose!" Willow half purred, half ordered.

"Ladies, please," Giles stepped carefully forward. "We must--"

"MAN MINE!" Buffy shouted at Willow .

Suddenly, Willow pushed the Slayer. "Mine," she howled, as they began to roll around on the grass in a tight grapple.

"Bet when you woke up this morning you never thought two college girls would be fighting over you by the end of the day," Xander yelled as he ran forward.

"This is not the time. Buffy could accidentally hurt or even kill Willow . Girls, please stop!"

As if to prove his point, Buffy kicked Willow off and the redhead flew into Xander, knocking him over. The witch quickly scrambled to her feet and narrowed her eyes, staring at Buffy in concentration. In a heartbeat, the Slayer shot straight up twenty feet and was suspended there, in mid air.

"Okay, that's new," Xander pointed up from his seat on the ground. "This isn't exactly pencil floating, Giles."

Giles stared up, working his jaw and trying to form a theory. "All right," he finally said, removing his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. " Willow 's control over her magicks is deeply rooted in her emotional state. Perhaps, with the purer emotions of the primitive psyche, she is not being hindered by the muddled, complex feelings that come with modern life. Therefore, her power is only limited by her ability to focus."

"Great! And I thought our biggest worry was having a cave-Slayer run amok. If Willow can harness that much power, she can do just as much damage as Buffy."

"Quite. Perhaps even more," Giles agreed, replacing his glasses. "I think the first thing we have to do is get them inside before they draw even more attention to themselves." He looked around warily as Buffy began wailing at the top of her lungs. Putting a tentative hand out toward the witch, he said in the most calming voice he could manage, " Willow , you must put Buffy down."

"Giles, if they're going to keep fighting, we're gonna have to separate them." Xander stood, but tried not to make any sudden movements.

"And what do you suggest?" Giles hissed, his composure threatening to leave him.

"How 'bout this? I'll take Buffy to the dorm and stay with her and try to keep her calm. You can take Willow to your place and do the same."

"What makes you think you can handle Buffy? She could break you in two before she even knew she'd touched you."

"I appreciate that." Xander's speech was speeding up with every second Buffy flailed in the air. "But I can deal with muscle. I've been beaten about the head enough to know what to expect. The magick thing on the other hand… I have a feeling you're the only one around who might survive that one."

Giles didn't like it, but the boy had a point. He almost smiled at the thought that maybe the young man had learned something from all their time together after all.

"Man choose," Willow suddenly growled, bringing him back to the problem at hand.

"All right, Willow ," he said softly. "Please put Buffy down and you can come with me. Gently!" he cringed as the witch smiled and the Slayer began to plummet. Buffy's descent slowed just before she hit the ground.

"Good choice." Xander rushed to Buffy's side. "Besides, with the way this one was looking at you, she might have torn you apart while you were trying to defend your honor anyway."

"Xander," Giles said quietly, letting his eyes speak for him as Willow attached herself to his side.

"I know," the boy responded seriously. "If I do anything to hurt her, you'll be in a long line of people who'll kill me." He took a confused Buffy by the shoulders and pointed her toward the dorm.

"Buffy fly," was all the Slayer kept muttering.

"And Giles… That's the best friend I've ever had. The trust goes both ways here, Big Guy"

"I understand," the older man said with a small smile.

Willow purred against his chest, "Giles choose Willow ."



Giles shut his front door with a heavy sigh. The drive home had been an interesting adventure. He had gotten the girl to let go of him for just long enough to spend the short ride bouncing around the car excitedly. As soon as he had stopped and let her out, she again became a growth on his side. Now, as he clicked the deadbolt locked, he looked down at her grinning face and wondered how he was going to get through the night with their precious friendship and himself intact.

"W-Willow, would you like something…?" Giles sighed again, staring into her wide, childlike eyes. "Willow hungry? Thirsty?"

Willow giggled and nuzzled her face into his chest. "Giles strong. Good man."

"Yes, I like to think I'm a good man. And I'm going to do my level best to remain one tonight." He stepped forward, but Willow didn't let go. "Willow, dear," Giles stroked her hair and spoke in a comforting voice. "I'm not going to leave you. I just want to take my jacket off."

Before he could react, the witch had shoved her hands over his shoulders and his jacket hit the floor. Forcing himself to keep his smile, Giles bent to pick up the garment and jumped when he felt the delicate hands trying to send his shirt the way of the jacket.

"No! No, please, Willow. That's a bad girl… You really don't want to… Shit!" He turned just in time to see her eyes narrow at him.

Giles felt a giant, invisible hand wrap around his torso, and he was thrown across the room until his back collided hard with the wall. He let out a grunt with the impact. The pressure on his chest remained constant, keeping him pinned in place. All he could do was watch as the young witch slowly came toward him, stalking like a predator.

"Giles strong… man. Willow have power… woman." She stretched her body up to its full stature.

"Yes," the ex-Watcher tried not to whimper, "W-Willow very powerful. But you don't want to hurt Giles. Willow and Giles friends."

Before his eyes, Willow whipped off her sweater and pushed her naked breasts forward for his approval. "Willow good. Make man good mate."

Giles attempted to gently push the girl away as she lifted his shirt and nuzzled against his bare skin, but she would have none of it. Soon he felt her hard nipples join the sickeningly pleasurable assault on his body.

"Please, Willow , I know you're somewhere in there. You still know right from wrong. You don't want to just take me by force, do you?"

Willow 's head popped up with a worried expression. " Willow not good?"

Giles could see the doubt in her eyes. She was truly asking. He wanted to weep. Of all the ways she could have asked… Against his better judgment, Giles answered truthfully. Stroking his fingers through her short, copper hair, he sighed, " Willow is very good."

A grin to rival sunlight spread on her face. But, before he could enjoy the moment, the girl dropped to her knees and began nuzzling at the crotch of his jeans.

With an exasperated breath, Giles let his head roll back and glared at the ceiling. "Whoever's up there watching… You think this is very funny, don't you?" Despite his every effort to control his rebellious body, he could feel himself stiffening under her insistent touch. Willow 's giggles told him she felt it, too.

"Big man," her small, muffled voice laughed.

Giles was desperate for any idea to come into his head, any way to stop this before it went irrevocably far. He felt like leaping for joy when one did, just as she was figuring out how to work a zipper again. " Willow , listen. You don't want Giles for mate. Willow has mate. Willow has Oz. Shall we find Oz?"

Willow stood up before him. To his surprise and horror her eyes narrowed and her face darkened. She growled one word that Giles didn't quite understand, "Veruca."

The pressure on his chest began to tighten uncomfortably. Soon it squeezed him so hard that his diaphragm was paralyzed and his lungs wouldn't work. " Willow ," he gasped, falling to the floor at her feet, "can't… brea …" The darkness was closing in around Giles' vision.

Without warning, the pressure was gone. Giles gasped in deep breaths that burned his abused lungs. As his mind began to clear, he could feel that his head was cradled in Willow 's lap and she was petting his hair and back. "Willow bad bad bad bad…" she wept. "Hurt Giles. Willow bad bad bad…"

As soon as he regained the use of his functions, Giles sat up and pulled the bawling girl into his arms. He rocked her and whispered soothingly. "It's all right. I'll be okay. Shhh… Willow good. Good girl."

He held her there, softly stroking her hair, until he felt her relax against his chest. Her sobs quieted and her breathing returned to normal. Giles hummed to her, letting the vibration of his voice do its work to calm the confused girl. His fingers felt something rough, and he smiled a little as he pulled grass from her hair.

" Willow , I have an idea you might like," he murmured against the top of her head. She looked up at him expectantly. "Come with me and I'll show you."

He shifted her off his lap and stood. Casually averting his eyes from her exposed torso, he took her hand and led her into the bathroom. Willow looked on with great interest as he turned on the taps and began to fill the bathtub.

"Water!" she shouted, bouncing excitedly.

Giles couldn't help a smile as he rummaged in the back of the cupboard, finally bringing out what he had been searching for. The small bottle held a thick, white liquid and had a picture of a Honeysuckle on the label. He couldn't hold back a chuckle when he poured some of the contents into the running water and Willow jumped up and down filling the room with lovely laughter.

"Bubbles," she practically sang with her laugh.

"Yes," Giles grinned. "I knew you'd like it. But this is our secret. If Buffy or Xander knew I had this, I wouldn't hear the end of it until the day we failed to stop an apocalypse." He glanced back at her and quickly looked away. Willow had already discarded the rest of her clothing. "Well…" He cleared his throat. "I suppose modesty is a relatively modern concept after all."

Giles turned off the taps and held out his hand to her with a resigned sigh. He was a grown man, for God's sake. It wasn't as if he'd never seen a naked woman before. And he was not about to chance letting Willow get hurt because of his own embarrassment . Her small hand slid into his and he steadied her as she slowly lowered into the tub. He was just able to shield his face as the first splash speckled his shirt with large, wet drops.

"You'll be all right in here for a bit. If you need me, I'm right outside." As he slipped out the door, leaving it open so he could hear her, Willow was too busy playing in the bubble bath to notice.

Giles quickly crossed to a bookcase and retrieved a volume before settling at his desk. He was flipping through the pages even as he dialed the phone.

"Hello?" answered a hushed, male voice.

"Xander, this is Giles. Just checking to see that everything is well on your end." His fingers traced down a page as he read.

"We seem to be good now. I turned the TV on and she watched the tiny people and bounced around the room for a while."

"The TV," Giles muttered, "why didn't I think of that?"

"Yeah well… I think her little adventure with the fire gods wore her out, because it wasn't long before she made a sort of nest on the bed and fell asleep. Ouch!"

"What is it?"

"I'm okay. Buffy kicks when she's dreaming."

Giles couldn't help the exasperation in his voice. "You mean you're sleeping with her?"

"Don't have a heart attack, Big Guy. Everything's fine. It's just that when she fell asleep, she curled up practically on top of me. I think it's part of that pack thing you were talking about."

"I didn't mean to… I'm just…"

"I know. Me too." Xander chuckled. "Hey, at least I don't have that whole alpha thing going for me." He laughed harder at Giles' groan. "How is our little cave-witch anyway? Still trying to fend her off? Um… You are still fending, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Giles sighed wearily. "We are both fine for now. One close call, but it was averted."

"Giles…" The boy had worry in his voice.

"I'm all right, Xander. No permanent damage done."

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, I've just found a spell that would allow me to bind her magick for a short time, but I'm hesitant to use it because I don't know what kind of damage it might do to her in her current state."

"Just remember, we can't afford to lose either of you. So do what you have to to make sure you both make it through."

"Thank you for your concern," he smiled at the boy's affection. "Anyway, I believe we are out of danger for the time being. Willow is now happily flooding my restroom with her bathwater."

"Giles, you didn't--"

"Of course not," he interrupted, not letting Xander finish so it wouldn't be an out right lie. "Listen, before I let you go. The incident I spoke of earlier… It happened when I mentioned Oz. Have you noticed any problem between he and Willow lately?"

"No. As always, they're two peas in a love pod."

"Hmm," Giles muttered. "I swear if that boy hurts her…"

Xander laughed, "I'll be right there holding him down for you, Ripper."

"Just take care," he groaned. "I'll ring you again in the morning." With a quick farewell from Xander, he hung up the phone.

Giles stood and stretched his sore back. At least Xander and Buffy were safe now. He and Willow , he feared, still had a ways to go. Hearing the happy splashing coming from the bathroom, he stood just outside the door and called in to her.

Willow responded to the sound of his voice, yelling, "Giles, Giles, Giles…"

With some reluctance Giles entered, unwilling to risk her being in the least amount of danger. Willow didn't stop her chanting until he walked all the way to the tub.

"I'm here. What is it, dear?"

With a quickness that would have put a Slayer to shame, she launched straight up out of the water and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down hard. Giles bit back a scream as his knees slammed into the floor.

"Giles back! Stay with Willow . Play."

After a few deep breaths to compose himself, Giles managed a smile. "Yes. Let go now and I'll stay. I promise."

When the girl released him and pulled back, he couldn't help but let her radiant smile warm his heart. He let out a small chuckle at the grass and dirt still speckling her hair. As she watched him, he leaned away just enough to retrieve a large towel and a pitcher from the cupboard. The towel, he slid under his knees to relieve some of the pain still shooting up his skeletal structure. When he tried to roll his sleeves up, he sighed at the fact that his shirt was already entirely soaked through. He looked at Willow for a moment then, making his decision, pulled the uncomfortable garment off and threw it aside.

"You don't mind, do you?" Willow just giggled at him and extended a hand up to pet the fine hairs sprinkling his chest. "Yes, well… Let's hope you forget this part, shall we?"

Next, he reached over to the shelf at the corner of the tub and took the bottle of shampoo.

"Now, sit and be still. You'll enjoy this."

Giles gently tilted her head back and used the pitcher to pour water over her hair, wetting it thoroughly. He then spread a dollop of the shampoo between his large, strong hands and began running it through her short, red hair, massaging it into her scalp. Willow practically melted into the water as she relaxed under his soothing touch. Giles thought he could almost hear her purring.

"Mmmmm…" Willow cooed. "Smell like Giles."

"Yes, I suppose it would," he murmured. After lingering in his work a bit longer than necessary, he returned her to a sitting position with a steady hand on her back, and carefully rinsed the soap from her hair. "That's better. All clean now."

When he began to get up, Willow grabbed his arm and tried to pull him into the water, laughing all the while. Giles resisted, but found himself laughing along with her, her joy was so infectious.

"You have to let me get up now, dear. I'm an old man, and my knees can't take much more of this treatment." Willow let him go and watched as he took a towel and dried his chest and arms.

"Old man. Giles old man. Old man." Willow sang. Suddenly, her brow furrowed as she looked at him more intently. "No! Giles man. Only man."

"Now don't start that again," he sighed, holding a large towel out before her. "Come on out. Hopefully, you're getting tired and will sleep this curse off tonight." Under his breath he added, "I know I'm knackered."

Willow jumped up, adding more water to the already sopping floor, and climbed out of the tub. She happily tucked herself into Giles' embrace and squirmed as he attempted to pat her dry. Soon, he left the towel draped around her and grabbed another to rub the excess water out of her hair.

"Wait there just a sec," he murmured absently as he stepped over to check behind the bathroom door. A relieved smiled crossed his face at the sight of his plush, burgundy robe hanging there. Grabbing it, he turned back to the girl, who had inexplicably managed to lose her towel. "Put this on, Willow . It will make you nice and cozy."

Again with lightning speed, she lunged toward him and wrapped her surprisingly strong arms around his chest, pressing her warm, supple body to his. " Willow clean now. Make Giles happy?"

The weary ex-Watcher patiently draped the garment around her as much as he could. " Willow always makes me happy." Giles let his voice rumble in his chest, creating soothing vibrations to keep her calm. "Just not that way. Willow and Giles friends, remember?"

The witch looked up at him. "Friends," she repeated with an expression of deep concentration on her face. "Willow Giles friends. Giles not want mate Willow ."

"That's correct." His large hand absently stroked her back. "I do love you, dear. Way too much to ever consider taking advantage of you like this."

Willow suddenly stepped back, causing Giles to unconsciously hold his breath and tense his muscles in preparation for another attack. As he watched, the cloud of concentration lifted from her features and understanding dawned. "Giles not want Willow ," she stated with a nod. " Willow be good. Love too."

The big man almost melted with relief. He reached out and finished wrapping her up in the oversized robe. "That's my girl. I knew my clever Willow was in there somewhere."

The young witch beamed with the praise. As Giles scooped her into his arms and carried her though the apartment, he vaguely wondered if her simple, happy mood was somehow being magickly transferred to him as well. All he could be sure of was that having this chance to truly take care of Willow was making him feel wonderful. After all the times she had sat with him and listened when he needed to talk, even when he refused to tell her exactly what was troubling him… After all the times she had returned alone when the battle was done to help tend to his wounds... This was his chance to completely care for her. To make sure she was perfectly safe. And he was reveling in the feeling.

Even with the pain still making its home in his back and knees, the girl was no burden at all as he climbed the stairs. By the time he set her down on his bed, she was again giggling like a happy child.

"That's a good girl," he grinned down at her. "Now, please try to go to sleep. I'll be on the couch if you need anything."

The sudden pout that halted her giggles struck him almost as hard as another blow. "Please," she begged quietly. "Giles stay. Willow be good. Stay with Willow ?"

The sincerity in her eyes clawed at his heart. A man like him had no business crawling into bed with a nineteen-year-old girl. But, before his better judgment could stop him, that's exactly what he found himself doing. He stretched out on his back, and Willow quickly curled up beside him, her head and shoulders resting across his bare torso. Giles soon remembered what Xander had said about how Buffy fell asleep and allowed himself to relax with the intimacy of the situation.

"I'll wait until you're asleep," he whispered.

About ten minutes passed before Giles came to the conclusion that something was wrong. Willow hadn't yet fallen asleep. She was, in fact, practically writhing against him. Her body was almost feverishly hot, causing her to pant for breath and slowly try to wiggle out of the plush robe. Her hips ground on his thigh of their own accord in an effort to relieve some of the pressure in her loins. Giles could tell every instinct in her body was telling her that she should mate with him while she had the chance. Gather the strong genes and further the species. The only thing stopping her from trying to act on these instincts was her understanding that he didn't want that, her promise to be good. For this, he felt both sympathy and love for her. It wasn't as if any of this was her fault. The only curse one expects from having a good time is the occasional hangover. Slowly shaking his head, he decided he had to help her.

"You're never going to be able to fall asleep like this, are you, love?"

Willow whimpered quietly, and he wondered if she even knew what was wrong with her. Tentatively, she placed a hand flat on his chest and he felt the heat pour from it into his body in great waves. His heart raced and his manhood became painfully erect in an instant, straining and twisted within the confines of his jeans. This was her way of sharing with him what she felt. He gasped deep breaths. To be this aroused and not know how to deal with it must be pure torture. All doubt about what he had to do vanished.

With a strong, tender grip, he rolled her onto her side facing away from him. He then lay on his side behind her, bracing her back with his large, solid body. "I hope you can forgive me for this," he whispered into her ear as his arms wrapped around her slender waist.

Giles could feel the muscles of her abdomen jump under his touch when his large hands slid beneath the material of the robe. She squeaked with surprise and approval when one set of careful, practiced fingers slipped between her thighs. He held her tight as her body bucked back against him at the first easy stroke of her pulsating nub. With his eyes closed, he reached farther around her hip and continued his ministrations to her burning core. His other hand roamed up her body and took possession of her supple breasts and peaked nipples. The smell of her femininity and arousal filled his senses, combining with the feel of her small body conforming to his and the sounds of her pleasure to drive him out of his mind. Beyond that, he was sure that she continued to magickly feed him her sensations, because every stroke he made, every exploration his fingers made into her wet core came back to him and flooded his body to sensual heights he couldn't remember ever achieving before. In the passion of the moment, he placed a single warm, soft kiss at the back of her neck.

Willow 's climax ripped through both of them with a force that sent the rest of the world into some far, forgotten realm. For a split second they were one in sensation and pleasure. Then the rush faded, and both descended into a blissful and peaceful sleep.



Bright, morning sunshine flooded the room and shown through Giles' eyelids. He sighed contently at the feel of the warm, soft bundle in his arms. The feel of the light breath rustling through his chest hair. The small wiggle burrowing deeper into his embrace. The feeling of… WILLOW !

Giles let go of the girl and shot back away from her so fast he fell off the bed and landed with a heavy thud on the floor. Willow 's wide, but coherent and focused eyes peered over the edge of the bed at him. Both began speaking at the same time.

"Oh God, Giles, I'm so sorry…" "Willow , I don't know what you remember, but…" "Last night was so weird, and, oh no, I didn't…" "I was at a loss. It was all I could think of to distract…" "And I so need to clean your bathroom for you…" "…could have been dangerous. I couldn't let you get hurt…" "And, oh Giles, I hurt you so much. How can you ever…" "You were suffering. I had to do something…" "And… Wow, have you ever felt anything so… Wow!?"

Both stopped their babbling and stared into each other's eyes. Giles sat up by the bed. "Willow ," he began again softly, "I'm so sorry. I had no right. Maybe one day you can forgive an old fool?"

Willow blinked at him in confusion for a moment before an understanding smile spread on her face. She stretched out over the edge of the bed and placed a tender kiss on his forehead. "Giles good man," she stated.




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