Part 5
“So, Giles, your dad said something about Watcher Initiation to me. Did he say anything to you?” Willow was in the sitting area of Giles’ suite, calling in to him as he changed out of his dinner clothes. He had the door to his bedrrom closed, and she could barely hear his reply, muffled as it was by 2 inches of antique oak.
Giles winced. He knew that Watcher Initiation would come up eventually, but he had been sure that it would come after he and Willow had been fully training for at least a year. He’d hoped that he wouldn’t be her initiator. Or had he?
Watcher Initiation was a series of complex rituals that awakened more fully the potential in a human being to withstand both physical and psychic trauma. It also tended to speed along the development of supernatural powers, such as spellcasting, true divining, and conjuring. The ritual itself wasn’t frightening, per se, but it required in some instances the initator and the Watcher-to-be to be as close to one another as possible. As intimately close to one another as possible.
The Watcher groaned. He’d just have to explain to his father that there was absolutely no way he could initiate the girl. Absolutely no way!! He could not in good concience make love to Willow under those circumstances...though he had been initiated himself by his mentor, Marcus. And that had been a bit unpleasant.
“Actually,” he called in reply to the girl, “he did.” He dragged his undershirt off over his head and rummaged in his luggage for something more comfortable.
Willow knocked on the door. “May I come in?”
He quickly pulled a cotton t-shirt on and answered. “Come on in, then.”
She opened the door and peeked inside. “You decent?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” She hadn’t changed out of her dinner attire yet, and the apple-green dress seemed to hum in the low light of the bedroom. She inhaled deeply, trying to imprint the scent in her brain. Giles always smelled of old books, dust, and leather, but tonight he had some musky cedar cologne on that seemed to totally complement him. Willow smiled and said. “I think that this is the first time you and I have been totally alone together. Weird. Buffy would say something witty, you know.”
“Well, neither you nor I possess the same kind of...ah...charm...that she does.” Giles said wryly.
Willow grinned and added, “And neither of us has our mind in the gutter all the time.”
“Well, it is common for a Slayer to have a highly active...appetite for....ah...”
“You can say it, Giles,” Willow interjected. “She’s got an overactive sex drive. It’s probably part of having superhuman strength and stamina. Wow, superhuman stamina. She could probably go for hours...”she realized what she was saying just as she noticed the twinkle beginning to form in his eye. “I’ll shut up now.”
Giles reached for another oxford shirt. Pulling it on, he smiled at the blushing redhead. “It is rather reassuring to spend time with someone whose mind isn’t always on matters of the loins.”
“Why are you putting on another shirt? Isn’t one enough?” Willow asked as he began to do up his buttons.
“If you hadn’t noticed, Miss Rosenberg, it’s freezing in here!” he replied.
“Wait,” said Willow, switching gears, “Do Watchers have above average strength and stamina and stuff like that?”
“Some do.” he answered absently.
“Especially those who Watch Slayers?” she continued.
“Yes, usually.”
“And they tend toward overactive sex drives?”
“Uh-huh -- What?!”
“You heard me. I knew it! You and Buffy! No wonder you two have been doing so much “training” together!” Willow smirked gleefully and clapped her hands. “Don’t worry, Giles, your secret is safe with me!”
Giles’ expression was that of a doe caught in headlights. “Wha? Me and Buffy?”
“No, you and Xander!”
Giles snapped out of it immediately. “You’ve misinterpreted, Willow.”
“Have I?” she said. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
“Of course I have. Two people can’t spend so much time together without some kind of imagining going on.” he sighed. “But it’s forbidden.”
“You’re kidding.” Willow said. “She could potentially hurt someone with her strength! Imagine! Snapping some poor guy’s head off one night!” she collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles.
Giles himself had to laugh at that. “Let’s go into the sitting room.” he said after a few moments.
~~*~~
Willow sat on the sofa as Giles turned on the gas fireplace, and then sat down. They both settled in with glasses of warm mulled cider, and began to talk.
“Let’s talk about initiation.” Willow said. “And why you don’t want to initiate me.”
Giles blinked in surprise. “How--how did you know that?”
Willow tapped a finger to her temple. “Perceptive. What’s up? Are we going to be naked or something? Don’t try to tell me you’ve never seen a naked girl before.”
“Yes, we will be naked. And don’t you,” he said, tweaking her nose,”try to tell me you’ve seen a nude man before. I’m not sure I want it to be me.”
Willow blanched. “I was kidding about the naked. No one told me naked.”
“It’s true. Strangely enough, it’s a way to establish trust between the Watcher and the initiate. It establishes closeness. Believe me.” Giles fidgeted with his glasses. “What do you think of Rosehaven?”
“Don’t try to change the subject on me, Giles.” Willow said sternly. “I’ve had enough wine to make me honest with you for once, and here it is:” she moved closer with each word, finally coming nose to nose with her mentor, and said in a low, tremulous voice, “ I don’t care what is involved in the initiation! I want to be a Watcher. I know that my descendents forever are going to be Watchers too, and I don’t care! I’ve seen what you do, I know the risks, and I’m ready for it! So whatever it is, will you just tell me! It can’t be that bad!”
“It can.” He said, looking down to avoid her eyes, “It is that bad.”
“Then spill it...we’ll figure something out together. We’ve figured out ancient prophecies and internet demons toegether, haven’t we?” She put her arms around him and hugged him gently.
“Can I ask you a question, then?” he said.
“Is it going to be on topic?” she replied.
He nodded, and she gestured for him to ask. “Would you, under any normal circumstances, consent to...that is...would you be acclimated to, um...would you be inclined to, that is....”
“Say it, for crying out loud!”
“You wouldn’t make love with me, would you?”
Part 6
Willow was speechless. Her arms were draped carelessly around Giles' neck, her nose pressed close to his cheek, and her breasts squished against his arm.
"Make love...with you?" she squeaked.
Giles cleared his throat. "Well...yes." He paused, giving her a moment to collect herself.
"You mean, like, right now?" she asked incredulously.
"No...it's...it's part of the initiation. Initiated by your sponsor...since I gave your name to the council, that would be...me." He stammered, "I shouldn't have brought you here, Willow, you're too young, I'm too old...I don't want to...don't want to...I can't, dammit!"
He tried to stand up with his last outburst, but Willow clung to him fiercely. "Giles..." she said tremulously.
He paused in his excitement long enough to look at her. He had successfully managed to stand up, but Willow had held on to him. Now, she was kneeling on the couch, her arms tight around his neck, her firm young body pressed to his, her red hair shimmering in the firelight. "Willow. Let go."
"No." She shook her head and pressed closer to him. "You said it yourself; two people can't spent that kind of time together without some kind of imagining going on." She removed the pin holding her hair up, and Giles couldn't help but watch in admiration as it tumbled down, curling about her shoulders like crimson waves. She shook her hair out a bit, and leaned imperceptibly closer. "I admit it, I've imagined."
"What?" he said, shocked. The breath was taken from him. If he moved just a fraction of an inch, their lips would be touching. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, a little voice told him that this wasn't right...this was Willow, for pete's sake, he had no right to be touching her this way, to be feeling this about a girl twenty years his junior.
Rupert let Ripper come out long enough to tell the little voice to shut the hell up.
Closing his arms around Willow, he crushed her to him, covering her mouth with his in a bruising, passionate kiss, his experienced tongue seeking hers out, wrestling with it. She opened to him, completely, a perfect lotus flower in tropical rain.
He softened the kiss, and gently moved his hands from her backside (How did they get there? he thought.) to her stomach, and higher, to her small rosebud breasts, slowly, gently circling. Around to her back, slowly dragging the zipper on her dress down...
Willow whimpered and arched her back, nudging her pelvis closer to his, her hands gently tugging at the buttons on his shirt. She opened them, one by one, and tugged the shirt off of his arms gently, then broke the kiss off, and pulled his head down to nuzzle his ear.
He gasped* and buried his hands in her hair.
Willow whispered, "Bedroom."
"Yes. Quite right."
~~*~~
When the sun broke through the curtains of the Watcher's suite, Willow was curled up on top of him, her head pillowed on his chest, and one leg on either side of his hips. He smiled and kissed her forehead, and allowed his hands to roam over her smooth skin. His eyes roamed the chaos the bedroom was in -- his clothing and hers thrown everywhere, blankets on the floor, Willow's nylons carelessly draped over a table lamp. He smiled.
Willow stirred, and she felt hands smoothing her hair, and lips nuzzling her ear. A voice whispered, "Welcome to the Watchers, Willow."
"Is that all it takes?" she whispered back.
"There's another ritual...but since I've..ah...taken your maidenhead...it's just an awakening of the power I've instilled in you." he answered.
Willow slowly moved her hips against his. "Some power."
He groaned. "When did you stop being shy and retiring, and start acting like a grown woman?"
"When you looked at me in the hallway before dinner last night. You acted like you'd never seen me before. I liked it." She kissed him on the mouth, softly and then got up and began to move around the room collecting her things. "And I'm pretty much grown, anyhow. Why wouldn't I be, after hanging around with you and Buffy for the last year or so?"
The gravity of their situation finally hit him. The little voice in his head was echoing a word: "Statutory....statutory...statutory."
"Willow?" he said quietly.
"Yes, Giles?" she replied.
"We really need to talk about what happened last night."
Part 7
"You're right. We do need to talk."
At least Willow was handling this like an adult. Gods, like an adult. Giles thought. She's grown, now...isn't she? He got out of bed and stood, unashamed of his nudity in front of the seventeen-year-old girl whose arms he'd fallen asleep in the night before.
"First," she said. "What do we tell the others?"
"Do we even tell the others?" he asked. "Do you want them to know?"
"Not really. Imagine Oz's reaction." she sighed. "God, how stupid of me! Oz! What am I going to say to him?"
He grimaced as he moved to the armoire to retrieve his robe. Willow, meanwhile, was pulling on his discarded shirt from the night before. She obiously anticipated a long conversation. "Again," he said. "Do you want to tell him?"
"No." she said forcefully. "I think it's best that this stay between you and I."
The little voice in Giles' head cheered. The relief must have shown on his face, because Willow smirked.
"Not interested in letting the police know you've been fucking one of your underage students?" She moved across the room and put her hands on the lapels of his bathrobe. Her lips went to his ear, and she whispered. "Even though I wanted it as much as you did?"
He shuddered as her teeth grazed his earlobe. She pulled away and smiled. "I've been wanting this for a long, long, time. I'm glad you didn't go all stodgy and English on me."
Giles bristled. "What? Is this a game for you?"
Willow pulled away angrily. "I could ask you the same question! What makes you think that I would...would use you like that? Do you think this was just a cheap thrill for me?!"
The Englishman sighed and pinched two fingers on the bridge of his nose. She quickly pulled his hand away from his face. "Look at me, Giles!" His eyes snapped up to meet hers. "Do you think I would even consider sleeping with someone I didn't care for? I'm not a slut, Giles."
"I never said that." he said quietly. "I don't think that at all."
Willow took a deep breath in an obvious effort to calm down. "Then what do you think?" she asked through clenched teeth.
"I think we've made a mistake." he answered. "I don't think this should have happened. I've taken advantage of you, and you have every reason in the world to hate me."
Willow turned away. "Alright, then. Maybe I should."
And with that, she collected her things and left the suite.
~~*~~
That day, Willow was initiated into the Watchers by Bryan, who had volunteered to stand in for his son, who had claimed illness. Bryan noticed that Willow had been quite stoic during the bloodletting and intercourse; it was as though she'd expected it. When the power infused her small body, she'd screamed in anguish, like all the other initiates; but, unlike others, she had absorbed the scream, doubling it back into herself and somehow using it to amplify the effect.
Fire sparkled in her eyes as she stood up from the floor; the last incantations were complete, and she was now a Watcher. Magick had changed her hair from its deep copper color to a more fire-engine red, and her eyes, once a pale, springy green, were now the color of an evergreen after a rainstorm. Bryan recalled a prophecy he'd once read:
The Watcher, joined in anger;
the pale turned to dark,
the branches of a weeping tree,
will only help her spark.
And she will save a Slayer,
and she will aid a Watcher;
but only she, the angry one
can mend their broken hearts.
But it sounded so much better in Latin.
Part 8
Willow packed up her things slowly; she was ready to go home, but she wasn't quite ready to deal with Giles yet. She knew in her heart that she'd hurt him deeply, but she couldn't bring herself to speak with him. Willow figured that the only reason he'd even considered making love with her was because he missed Miss Calendar, and Willow refused to be the replacement for her in Giles' eyes. She'd been down that road before with Xander, and she wasn't about to put herself through that kind of pain again for anyone.
You're being awfully hard on him, aren't you, Wills? a voice in her head reminded her. It takes two to tango. You wanted him as badly as he wanted you.
No, there's a difference. she countered. I wanted him. He wanted Miss Calendar.
You wanted him, did you? the small voice asked her again. Why would you just go and---
"Shut up!" Willow shouted to the room. She finished packing , ignoring the voice in her head, and left the room.
At least I'm going to be home by tomorrow, she said half-happily. I'm just not sure I'm going to be able to go 24 hours sitting next to Giles without speaking to him.
Hell, I'm not even sure what to say to myself.
~~*~~
Giles paced.
He knew, in his heart, that Willow would not forgive him soon. If ever. And he was to spend an uncomfortable flight home with the girl. He was almost sorry he'd let her kiss him. Almost.
He admitted to himself that he had been attracted to the bookish redhead. He, of course, had kept it in check, seeing as she was underage and he was an administrator at her high school. They'd saved a few lives together, just the two of them, researching in the library until all hours of the morning. It had amazed him that she could stay up that late at night, and then turn around in the morning and be fresh-faced and bright-eyed. He supposed that her lesser need of sleep was his first clue that she'd make a good Watcher.
And now she was a Watcher. Inititaed by him, then his father. She would become powerful, under his tutelage. If he could force her -- and himself -- to spend the time working with her new abilities. He supposed that she didn't even want to be in the same room with him.
Not that he blamed her.
~~*~~
The cab ride to the airport was uneventful; Willow had fallen asleep, and had instinctively curled up next to the closest source of warmth. Giles had gently put his arm around her, and held her until the cab stopped. He shook her awake.
"Willow, wake up, we're here."
She sat up and shrugged his arm off of her shoulders, exiting the car without a word.
Giles sighed irritably. If she's going to be like this, I don't want to train her.
Willow turned around, as if she'd heard his thoughts, and narrowed her eyes evilly. "Let's go. We'll miss the plane," she said through clenched teeth.
~~*~~
LAX was crowded in the middle of the day; families were reuniting, lovers were meeting again, and for the first time, animated conversations were going on everywhere, and children ran, screeching happily, up and down the aisles of the waiting area. Willow was carrying her small pieces of luggage down the terminal, and Giles was walking side-by-side with her.
They turned a corner, and Giles abruptly dropped his bags and grabbed Willow by the arms.
"Now, look, dammit, we're going to talk if I have to beat it out of you."
Willow arched an eyebrow. "Really, Ripper? You could do that to me?"
Giles pinned her to the hallway wall and looked her in the eyes, his face pressed into hers, his breath hot on her neck. "You know I could." he sneered. "You've managed, for the first time in the year I've known you, to actually make me angry. I want to know what could possibly have been so horrible about that night that you never want to speak to me again."
Willow gazed into his eyes uncompromisingly. "Are you sure you want to know, Ripper?"
Inwardly, he winced at her using that old nickname, but..."Yes, Willow. I am sure."
"I'm not a replacement for Jennie Calendar." She paused. "But you fell asleep with me in your arms, and you whispered, 'Jennie.' I've been down this road before, and I'm not going to do it again. Are you happy now?" She hissed.
His mouth hung open in shock, and he looked away. "I--I'm sorry. I had no idea."
"I know that. It still hurts." She paused. "I can't pretend it didn't happen. I wanted that night as much as you did. But can you see how much it hurts to know that someone you care for can't ever care as much in return?"
"Willow, I do care."
"Do you?" She asked. Tears glistened in her eyes, and she brushed them away as if angered by their presence. I will not cry, I will not cry.Not for him, not for anyone ever again.
"How could I not? You are a stunning, intelligent, funny girl." He smiled softly, and his grip on her arms relaxed a bit. He leant in and brushed his lips on hers. "I do care for you, Willow Rosenberg. I'm deeply sorry that I hurt you. I wish I could make it better between us."
Willow nodded slowly, and her red hair shimmered in the harsh light of the terminal hallway. Giles picked up his bags and moved to one of the sliding doors that lead outside. "I'll get us a cab. You wait here, all right?"
"Sure." She said, and watched him walk away. When he was out of earshot, she whispered, "But I'm not a girl. Not anymore."