Title: A Watcher's Heart
Author: Andrea
Email: aegermaine@yahoo.com
Rating: 15
Pairing: Willow/Giles, Drucilla/Giles
Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters
Distribution: All places I've given permission before. Anyone else just ask!
Spoilers: Becoming
Summary: Drucilla shows Giles his heart
Feedback: Only positive....

Note: Some lines borrowed from Becoming.

"Is that better?"

Giles groaned as the shock of the cool towel gently wiped the sweat and blood from his forehead. He let himself for the briefest moment relax in her touch, let her touch ease his discomfort. This was a rare moment of calm in the sea of unending pain.

For what seemed like hours, days, he had mercilessly been at the hands of Angelus, the sadistic evil vampire who had made their lives a living hell for the past 6 months. To Giles, this was a culmination of that hell, himself one step away from death.

The endless torture, mentally and physically, combined with lapses of consciousness threatened to break his resolve. His resolve to protect the secret of Acathla from this psychotic killer, the consequences life damaging to Sunnydale, to himself, and most importantly to the Scooby Gang, whose safety meant more to him than his own.

Buffy, who was more than his slayer but one of his own; Xander, a trusted friend, whose loyalty to Buffy and himself he deeply admired. And Willow..Dear Willow whose mere presence made everyday worth living. For them, Giles knew he had to hang on as long as possible till he was either saved or dead. They were his focus, she was his focus, as she had always been. Willow.

His thoughts were interrupted by an icy finger running along the side of his face. He turned away, the feel of her nail making him wary. He felt her hand run up the back of his head and through his sweat dampened hair, her nails scraping his scalp. Giles involuntarily leaned forward, giving into her massage.

He let his mind drift back, drift back to Willow. Her image a constant in his mind. She was always there, at times at the forefront when it was all he could think about or in the back, when flickers of her would take rest. From the very first day, she'd secured a place in his mind as well as in his heart. A reason for living and an anchor to this reality, Willow, with the red silk hair, emerald gems, porcelain skin, was what truly kept him alive.

Giles felt himself suddenly falling, barely registering that the dark vampiress was touching him, speaking to him, her soft words floating over his head.

"Poor thing. Let's see what's inside." Drucilla purred as she honed in on the Watcher's thoughts. She let her powers of clairvoyance wash over her, until they caressed her and by touch, him also. She coaxed his door open, gaining entrance inside his mind. And there, she was shot with a barrage of images, good and bad, pretty and ugly. Colors swirled everywhere, a kaleidoscope of reds and blues, greens and blacks.

Deeper she went, hoping to find his heart, knowing that whatever was there would be the key. She closed her eyes, letting him wash over her until they became one mind. She saw all these faceless images, brief notes in his life. There were a few that flickered more than the others, the Slayer, the mean teacher, the bewitched boy, all were brief but evident. But, as Drucilla searched deeper, one face stood out among the others. This was more bright, more sharper, more clearer than any of the others.

Red and green combined with a white were what stood out to her the most. A pretty face with a sunshine smile that seemed to call to her, beckon her closer. Searching even deeper, she was hit with images of the Watcher and the pretty face, talking and laughing, each one becoming more intimate than the previous one. She sensed their closeness, the bond between the two and she knew then that this was the Watcher's heart.

"Oh.." she said surprised, gripping his head tighter. "Of course."

Making her way around the chair, Drucilla began to weave her spell, enchanting the Watcher under her power. Extending her two fingers and going counterclockwise, she tried to bring his attention to her but he was resisting slightly.

"No..look at me." she hypnotized." See in me."

Kneeling, Drucilla was facing him, hypnotizing him with her voice and her gestures. She soon had his full attention, noticing his dark jade eyes transfixed on her fingers. The idea that he was completely in her enthrall sent a thrill through her. She always loved this part, when they were helpless and absolutely in her control.

Reaching up, she ran her hand, palm towards him across his eyes, commanding him. "See with your heart."


Giles blinked his eyes, trying to clear the fog that seemed to settle in his mind. Slowly, everything came into focus...the grey floor, the equally drab walls and Willow kneeling in front of him.


He blinked his eyes, wondering if this was a mirage. She couldn't be here...could she? His Willow. The more he stared, the clearer she became, her body remaining.

"Willow?" he asked tentatively, afraid that this was a figment of his lonely imagination.

She smiled that beatific smile that he had grown to love over the past two years. He quickly ran his gaze across her face, taking in the sparkling emerald eyes that looked alive in the dark; her silken red hair and the delicate porcelain of her face and he knew instinctively that she was really truly there. And his heart warmed.

"Willow." he exclaimed happily, cursing the bondage of his arms which prevented him from enfolding her into his embrace. How he wanted to hold her more than anything, this exquisite creature that at this moment was his reason for living. She was heaven, pure and simple.

"Sssh..Giles." she soothed, running a cool hand down his bruised face. He looked horrible. Battered and bloody, he looked like he had been through the fight of his life and barely survived.

"Willow." he breathed out, his body weak. "I thought you were..."

She shook her head slightly. ""No, I'm here." She ran her fingertips over his lips, closing her eyes briefly as he leaned into her touch. "I'll never leave you."

His heart leapt at her words and he knew she wasn't lying. Willow was incapable of deceit, her soul too pure to ever be capable of evil. So, when she promised that she'd never leave him, he knew she was telling the truth.

But to be together. They had to leave before Angelus came back. He could take whatever Angelus dished out but he'd be damned if he'd let him harm Willow.

"We have to get out of here." he said urgently trying to untie the ropes." We have to..."

"Giles.." she softly whispered as she lightly brushed a kiss across his lips. He leaned in trying to deepen it but she pulled away to his immense frustration.

"Did you tell Angel about the ritual?" Willow asked concerned as she searched his eyes for some clarity, some sign that he was here with her and not too far gone from his hours with Angel.

Wild eyed, Giles replied. "No." he struggled again,needing to break free and get them both to safety. "We have to get Angel away from Acathla."

"Why?" she asked, her interest piqued. "Is he close to finding out?"

"Later." Giles replied desperately, wishing that he could make her understand how important it was for them to leave. He shivered inwardly at the thought of what Angelus would do if he found her with him. Not what he would do to him but to Willow.

He'd rather die first.

Gazing intently at him, she pleaded. "Tell me what to do."

Giles stared at her a part of him, a tiny part wondering if he should tell her. He swore to himself never to tell, knowing if he did all hell would break loose. But, this was Willow. He trusted her implicitly. Her loyalty to himself and the Slayer were unending and that she would rather die than betray Buffy, betray him. He could trust her with Acathla's secret.

She watched closely wondering if she was getting through to him. She needed to know how to unlock Acathla, needed to know so that she could help him. If she knew what the secret was, she could be the one to stop the torture, stop the pain that Angelus was inflicting on him. Didn't he realize that? Didn't he care? She had to convince him of her sincere desire to help otherwise Angelus would continue his sadistic machinations. And then none of them would be free.

Moving closer to him, she breathed. "We'll have everything we ever wanted. " she pressed her lips to his, a whisper of a kiss. "Just tell me what to do."

She caressed his face, expending her breath around his lips, teasing him gently. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her on him. This was what he dreamt of in the dark of night. What he could give himself freely over to his secret desires, desires that he couldn't express to her until now. Now, not only was she offering a more friendly affection but a chance for them to be together. His most desired dream was being realized. All he had to do was tell her how to open Acathla.

"We have to get Angel.." he said desperately leaning towards her.

She smiled in anticipation. He was going to tell her. "Angel is the key?"

He nodded resolutely. "His blood..he mustn't..."

"Ssh..." she whispered, not needing him to talk anymore. She had what she wanted.

Pressing her lips to his, Willow began to kiss him passionately, giving into this fiery emotion that had suddenly infused her. Nipping and sucking, she thrust her tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. She felt him responding to her kiss, could feel the excited pulse pounding in his throat, smell the heady scent of his blood and it thrilled her to the core. So much so that her concentration slipped and the glamour wore off, revealing her true visage.



Roughly, Giles kissed her, putting all his pent up desire into the kiss. He'd dreamt of this moment for too long and he wasn't about to let it slip away.

He leaned into her more, grabbing her lips bruisingly, absolute desperation in his kiss. He didn't want to lose her for one moment, the connection between them so powerful. She was his anchor of calm in the sea of hell that he was in now. Her voice, her touch, her kiss soothed his soul while at the same time ignited a burn in him. He'd never felt more alive in his entire life. Willow was his salvation.


"Uh...Drucilla?" Spike asked perturbed.

"Honey?" Angelus said, both vampires staring in disbelief at the sight of Drucilla kissing the Watcher passionately.

Drucilla reluctantly broke from Giles and turned to face them, surprise in her features. Spike gently said, "We are finished here."

Smiling wickedly, she preened. "Sorry, I got lost in the moment."


Giles didn't feel Willow, didn't feel her sweet lips upon his. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear them.

No Willow.

Then suddenly, it hit him like a brick. Everything came into focus and her words registered in his mind, the voice recognizable to his ears.

It wasn't Willow.

It was Drucilla, the child-like insane vampiress who had been kissing him, who he...

Oh God.


He smiled, one filled with regret and disbelief. He'd done the one thing he swore not to do. Give the secret of Acathla to Angelus. And through Drucilla he had.

He had betrayed the Watchers, mankind. And most importantly, the people he cared about. Buffy..oh hell..

'Buffy, I'm so sorry. I swore to protect you until my last breath but now I just allowed yours to happen.' he thought. Xander and Cordelia...whose carefree life was now less than it should have been.

How could he? How did he become weak after the painful hours of his torture? How could he let himself be broken?

Closing his eyes, the image of his salvation, what had been his reason for survival flared into his mind clear as day.


Willow was the one. She was the one who asked him, begged him to tell her. And he did. Because he trusted her, he loved her, he knew she would never tell Angelus, never betray Buffy as well as him.

But she did. She did tell.

Giles shook his head vehemently, knowing that it wasn't Willow but Drucilla who told. It was Drucilla who disguised herself as Willow and let him believe that everything would be all right, that they'd be together, that..she wanted him.

That had been a lie too. Willow didn't really want him, it was just a ploy of Drucilla's to get what she wanted. His lonely heart eagerly willing to believe her.

'What a fool, I am.' he thought.

If by some miracle he'd live, he thought about how he was going to face Buffy, much less Willow. Buffy..would she forgive him for betraying her, for letting his weakness take over, letting it rule his judgment briefly. He'd sworn to protect her, now he left her vulnerable.

And Willow....

God, sweet Willow. How could he face her? After this, how could he look at her square in the eye? He failed her just as much if not more than Buffy.

His love, his memories he associated with her, now they'd forever be a reminder of this horrible deed. No longer a pleasure but a numbing pain that he hoped beyond hope would pass  with time. He hated the idea that even the briefest memory of Willow would be tainted in his mind by this living nightmare. It would devalue her and their relationship if he let himself think of her here.

But how was he going to stop that from happening?

Right now, fondest memory was of kissing her, giving her his love through his kiss but that was poisoned with the reality. Reality being, Drucilla not Willow was the one and there was nothing he could do about it.

Not even in the place Willow where ruled majestically could forget.

His heart.


the End

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